Cooking When You're On Your Own...

.... whether because you live alone, or are just by yourself because your SO is out of town.

My reply to Ed's frozen banana post made me start thinking about this again.

I grew up in a large family, so food and meals were about community as much as anything. I have some close friends (tight-knit and geographically) and we will sometimes have dinner together during the week. But usually I am on my own in the evening. And it's just hard to get inspired somehow.

Often I won't make my favorite meals because either it seems like too much hassle after work for just me, or because the recipes make way too much and I would end up eating it all week (or way too much at one meal because I love it! ).

Am I the only one who thinks a lot of the joy of cooking is missing when it's just for one?

No, I hear this often from folks who are cooking for one, or even two. I have a 94 year old aunt who lives alone. She still cooks three meals a day for herself, and insists on shopping for fresh, healthy food. Her inspiration is herself, and keeping her health. She claims she has the energy she does, because she cooks and eats well.
There is satisfaction in knowing that you are treating yourself well. Frankly, I consider it a gift to myself and my husband for our jobs well done at the end of the day, our reward, and knowing that I am putting some good fuel in to keep our bodies running smoothly.
Yes, it gets to be a pain, but I’m far from Meals on Wheels or TV dinners.
I met a fellow at the Farmer’s Market last week. He is the picture of health. I believe he lives alone. Each week, he comes and buys all his veggies. Last week he told me he was going home to make 30 turkey enchiladas. He said, “It will last me through the summer and winter”. He also said he makes up other freezer dishes for one serving, ahead of time. Then all he has to cook on lazy days is his veggie. He said he eats a small green salad as his first course while watching the news. Wow!

I agree to an extent, Cynthia. Cooking is usually more fun when there is someone there who will say, "Wow, this is good!" When I was single, dinner usually became a handful of nuts and glass of wine after work in front of the TV. But then I'd get the urge and make something that sounded really good, or that I'd get a craving for (and eat it for days, like you say). Or I'd think something like, "Why don't I have any good veal demiglace??" And then spend a Saturday making it, but then that would be all I'd have. (What a dork...) Actually this is what happened when I met my husband. He looked into my semi empty fridge/freezer and said, "What are all of those little zip lock baggies of brown stuff."

Now that I have someone to cook for, I actually (secretly) look forward to the times he goes out of town because it gives me the opportunity to make and/or eat things he doesn't like. Oxtails for one, Thai take-out for another. I could list many!

Ironically, he was just out of town for a few days, but the only cooking I did was a homemade chicken broth. I wanted to take off a few extra pounds I had gained, so for days, I've been eating the broth (with arugula added to it when I heat it). He got home today, so back to the regular menu--but smaller portions for me--now that my clothes fit again.)

Have you thought about starting a dinner club?

Karen, I would love to be able to make things ahead and freeze them, but I live in a tiny place and have only the very small freezer over my refrigerator. And that quite often has a LOT of frozen roasted chiles in it, not leaving a lot of room for things besides the whole grains for bread baking. I admire the dedication of the man at the farmers' market!

Carrie, you cracked me up with the demi glace story! Talk to me about how a dinner club works? I can only seat 4 (if people don't mind being close) at my place, which may be a big drawback. And I certainly couldn't pull this off during the week.

When I am not working, like on Sundays, I will often go to the trouble to cook for myself and make the week's bread. Hmm... maybe my basic problem is that I work too much and my work days are too long! I wonder what my CEO will say when I tell him I am cutting back so I have time and energy to cook?!

.... Am I the only one who thinks a lot of the joy of cooking is missing when it's just for one?

No you're not. Usually, Monday through Friday, I come home from work and do something simple - hamburgs on the George Foreman, tuna salad sandwich, eggs... etc. For variety I sometimes eat out alone. Some nights one of my boys invites me over to dinner. But at least every two weeks or so, I cook up a nice big Sunday dinner and invite the family over. That makes up for it.

Personally?

I "cook" with my ATM/credit card when I'm on my own.

Too much bother for just me.

With the kids and such, I'm rarely on my own these days. When I am, I do exactly what I feel like. That may mean an all-day session of baking and braising and such, it may mean a couple of well-aged cheeses with some good bread, olives, and a good wine, or it may mean a peanut butter sandwich eaten over the sink. Or takeout. Or ice cream for supper.

But since it happens so seldom now, I get a tremendous sense of enjoyment out of eating whatever I damn well please!


Mike

I try new recipes when Janet is gone -- she likes me to make my winners exactly the same way every single time -- and her absence gives me a chance to experiment. If it turns out well, I freeze a dinner's worth, and let her try it.

Once in two or three times, she adds the new dish to the menu.

Regards, Bob

90% of my cooking is just for myself so I can sympathize. It ends up being a weird mix of oddball gourmet stuff that I'm just in the mood for (or am working out to be able to serve to "company") and pure junk. I know the feeling well, Cynthia. It really is better when there's someone else to share the meal with, but it's still pretty enjoyable on my own. (I will skip the obvious analogy)

Cynthia,

I am usually on my own during the week...but I have to say, I really enjoy cooking for myself. My husband isn't a foodie, so I get very little pleasure cooking for him. But I do understand what you are saying...because when you have someone who really appreciates food, there is nothing like cooking for them. My parents and siblings would always say how delicious my meals were and ask me to cook for them all the time...as would my friends, and I really miss that a lot.

I am just looking forward to when I can get out to the grocery store or farmer's market every day and do big dinner parties again!

Cynthia, if you wanted to start a dinner club, I would start by choosing the three friends of yours who enjoy cooking the most (not necessarily your closest friends). One might be a friend from work, then maybe someone you met at a wine tasting, etc. I think the more diverse the better--as long as you have cooking in common. Then just start with once a month. Sunday may be a good night to do it, so you are looking forward to that night instead of thinking about going to work the next morning. (That was me in my corporate position...hated those Sunday nights.)

There are a variety of formats you could follow, like leaving all menu decisions and cooking to the person hosting a particular month. Alternatively, as host, you could choose the menu and wine, make the main course and provide recipes to the other members for three other courses. Actually that would be perfect with a group of four. You'd have an appetizer, soup or salad, entree and dessert with everyone having a hand in each month's gathering.

You could increase it to twice a month or even weekly if no one is feeling overwhelmed. Sounds like fun to me!

I hear that. In a bit of a turnaround that life throws at you sometimes, Dina’s new job has her doing more travel and mine has me sticking real close to home. Oh well…in any case, I now find myself eating things like bacon & eggs, BLT’s, hotdogs…things that are fast…and drinking a lot less wine.

I'm slipping back into bachelor driven eating patterns. When we cook together, evening meals are plates, napkins, music, wine candlelight etc.. when I’m alone it’s a paper plate in front of the computer or TV. Or me and Mr. Dog hitting a fast food dive. (he loves that , of course...but still)

Richard

Cynthia
I fully agree. I don't enjoy cooking for myself - the mistakes are amplified and the successes are wasted without someone to share it with. My solution is to keep it simple and maybe also eat things that are normally off the menu due to taste preferences differing.

I'm sure there is a bit of Ug (my neanderthal alter ego) in it as well, being the provider of food.

Good observation

regards

Ian

The opportunity to cook only for myself is rare, so perhaps that is why I enjoy it. I completely indulge myself in meals that I would never serve when anyone else is eating with me. I've been known to have a dinner of nothing but baked potatoes (notice plural) with lots of butter, sour cream, cheese, salt and pepper, or pasta with only browned butter and lots of garlic, salt and pepper, or a huge real egg omelette with lots of cheese and butter and salt and pepper... Noticing a pattern here? Mr Mc thinks I am a health-conscious cook. Not that I wouldn't indulge Mr Mc's appreciation for such heart-clogging dishes every now and then, just that it wouldn't be the only thing I would serve and it would be a tiny portion of a meal heavily laden with fruit and green vegetables.
And as far as daily cooking for only Mr Mc and I -- I enjoy cooking. It relaxes me after work and I actually look forward to it. And I certainly hope that when/if the time should come that I cook only for myself all the time, that I will, like some of those examples mentioned, be one of those people who see a bit of self-interest (not the same as selfishness) as a means to a better, more comfortable and happy, healthy and productive life. (And I hope to be that way not only when it comes food, but in dress, exercise, travel, and socializing, etc.)

We recently returned from a trip on which we visited two aunts and a widow friend who all live by themselves. They all hate cooking for one.

Cynthia,
I've been on my own and cooking for myself for a long time being a life-long bachelor. My cooking for the most part is simple, but once in a while, I experiment and try new things. Sometimes I'll try something, like roasting a chicken. This gives me a nice chicken dinner one night, leftover's one or two, sandwiches for lunches for a few, and chicken soup which I can make and freeze (have the same small freezer) and use on occasion

When planning for the week, I usually count on having the same thing at least once or twice, with a variation or two, during the week. For instance, I may have a broiled steak, with red potatoes and asparagus one night, but might swap out something - say fresh green beans for the asparagus. This way, some things may be a repeat, but the meal as a whole is different from day to day.

This way, I keep the ideas fresh and am not eating the same thing every day (although that happens on occasion