Outdoor Cooking Etiquette

[Jenise]

According to the sexes, that is....


When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chains of events are put into motion:

Routine:
1. The woman buys the food.
2. The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with
the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the Man who
is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand

Now, here comes the important par t:
4. THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine:
5. The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again:
7. THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine:
8. The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
9. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
10. Everyone PRAISES THE MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
11. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off" and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women!

That’s pretty funny. But until we all got married, a BBQ with the guys consisted of meat , alcohol & maybe some flour tortillas ( used instead of plates). It was the influence of marriage that…slowly got us used to the idea of napkins, plates, cutlery, side dishes, dessert (apparently salsa or pico de gallo don’t count) and eating at a table.

But the old way sure made for a quicker clean-up

Richard

[Jenise]

And dinner with the girls was always salad and chocolate cake.

The man makes fire, too, using great magic, showing control over this, the greatest and most dangerous of the primal elements of life itself!

[Jenise]

The man makes fire, too, using great magic, showing control over this, the greatest and most dangerous of the primal elements of life itself!

That's the neanderthal approach. Here's the metrosexual-by-way-of-Dallas approach:

http://www.surlatable.com/product/533455.do

(Come on, you want one of those belts, I know you do.)

Yeah...that's the Dallas of today. Used to be, that belt would have been a modified engraved leather pistol holster w/ ammo loops for accessories.

But times change...still...there is always Fort Worth.

richard

The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off"

Works for me.

Yes - The Original Grillslinger™ Barbecue Tool System: I must have one with extra testosterone. With a Tool System a hamburger becomes chopped steak.

[Jenise]

Jon, if you cook the steaks with a Grill Slinger and make your salad with a Salad Shooter (remember those?), I reckon you'd have a dinner to make the NRA proud. Not that anyone should wish to do that.

I reckon you'd have a dinner to make the NRA proud. Not that anyone should wish to do that.

Only every politician running...even John Kerry donned duck hunting clothes.

[Jenise]

Only every politician running...even John Kerry donned duck hunting clothes.

Oh, I know. And overalls, no less!

Oh, I know. And overalls, no less!

That is not a good look for anyone, I don't care what shape your body is in.

Here is my favorite ...
I ask my man to let me know 10 minutes before the meat is done so I can roast the asparagus. Next thing I know he is bringing in the meat, totally forgetting I made a request. Of course, as the meat is cooking he asks me how I'm doing on my end. It is all about the meat and him! I must be ready when he is......
I flipped out about this one last weekend. It almost ruined my party, I had to pull every ounce of gracious behavior I owned. The asparagus got served but almost as a second course! I served it smiling and saying, "please try our garden asparagus, the first of the season!"

According to the sexes, that is....


When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chains of events are put into motion:

Routine:
1. The woman buys the food.
2. The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with
the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the Man who
is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand

Now, here comes the important par t:
4. THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine:
5. The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again:
7. THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine:
8. The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
9. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
10. Everyone PRAISES THE MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
11. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off" and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women!

It's a *little* different around here. I do everything but the salad and wine glasses.

However, since I just bought my combo grill/smoker this week, things *may* change. I have a hormone-free connection who raises cattle, goats and pigs. I am getting some baby backs from him this weekend. Oh,they also make goat milk soap.

According to the sexes, that is....


When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chains of events are put into motion:

Routine:
1. The woman buys the food.
2. The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with
the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the Man who
is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand

Now, here comes the important par t:
4. THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine:
5. The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again:
7. THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine:
8. The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
9. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
10. Everyone PRAISES THE MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
11. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off" and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women!

That's harsh, Jenise.


I sincerely hope you were kidding.

That's the neanderthal approach. Here's the metrosexual-by-way-of-Dallas approach:

http://www.surlatable.com/product/533455.do

(Come on, you want one of those belts, I know you do.)

Yeah, I gotcher "tool system" right heah....




(Sorry - couldn't resist.)

Mike

That's harsh, Jenise.


I sincerely hope you were kidding.

She was.




Mike

Hm.

That's the neanderthal approach. Here's the metrosexual-by-way-of-Dallas approach:

http://www.surlatable.com/product/533455.do

(Come on, you want one of those belts, I know you do.)

I don't know what appalls me more: the product that looks like a cross between an industrial back support and a heavy duty jock strap OR the price tag on said product. Jock Ewing is rolling over in his grave.

:lol: Here is my favorite ...
I ask my man to let me know 10 minutes before the meat is done so I can roast the asparagus. Next thing I know he is bringing in the meat, totally forgetting I made a request. Of course, as the meat is cooking he asks me how I'm doing on my end. It is all about the meat and him! I must be ready when he is......

By any chance, are you related to my wife?
As I tell my wife all the time - cooking the meat is not a science and it's ready when it's ready. Plus you have the resting time.
Cook the asparagus when the meat goes on the grill - it's fine if they're done before the meat and sit a few minutes. Drizzle them with some xvoo - nobody will be the wiser.
I'd rather have the sides ready when the meat is done, than have the meat ready and have to wait for the sides......

Men. Women. We really are from different planets.

And don't get me started with pasta. I've been known to drag people to the table when the pasta is ready, rather than let it sit for even a minute.......

John, I think you and my husband were separated at birth. If he takes his ribs off the smoker, the buffet line begins the moment his knife separates the first two ribs, no later. No matter if the salad is not tossed, the beans are still in the oven, the corn bread is not done, etc. I'm usually scrambling to find trivets to put the hot stuff on while people are standing there with plates in hand looking on awkwardly, while he is grumbling "the ribs are gonna get cold..."

I love him dearly, but yes, we are two completely different animals.

Jenise, I love what you posted about outdoor cooking and it's so true in so many cases. I actually wish my husband would take a little more credit, though. People will say, "Great ribs, Len!" and he always gives the credit to me saying, "I didn't do anything but put them on the smoker. Carrie makes the rub and that's what makes them."

Note: I do all the other grilling at our house. He doesn't have the patience for it.

I just bought my combo grill/smoker this week

Interesting. Was "some assembly required"?

I just bought my combo grill/smoker this week

Interesting. Was "some assembly required"?

Yes, but this time when I opened the box - shotgun at the ready - the bivouacking barefoot Roumanian (thank you, Dorothy Parker) mercenaries encamped inside were asleep and I was able to fight them off in just a few short hours.

And, as always, I had a platoon of mechanical engineers on retainer for those objects with"some assembly required."