Food Network: Sandra Lee

Just have to share this with you all, because I know you will appreciate it. I had her show on yesterday as background noise while I was making split pea soup. She was making some kind of coffee angel food disaster and was using instant espresso powder. Every time she said the word, she pronounced it "Expresso."

[Jenise]

That's a hoot. I've watched her show now 7 or 8 times, and I have to admit being mesmerized the minute she comes on. And what I'm drawn to is the disconnect between the awful food she makes and the convincing sincerity of her patter.

What's the worst thing you've seen her make? I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours!

Chicken and dumplings. A cold supermarket rotisserie chicken torn off the bone, a carrot or two cut in chunks, a celery rib or two cut in chunks, canned chicken broth and refrigerator biscuits, cut into quarters. Plop everything in the pan, cook 20 minutes, voila!

I think the chicken pot pie you described sounds pretty bad. Tough to beat that. Her savory dishes don't usually seem that bad. Usually just roasted or grilled something or other--usually with barbecue sauce or sour cream added). Her desserts and sides are the worst. I know I've mentioned the store bought angel food cake with marshmallows stuffed into the hole, iced with store bought frosting in a can to which blue food coloring was added......

How about those "beautiful, festive and GORGEOUS tablescapes" though?

What's the worst thing you've seen her make?

Small talk!

Every time she said the word, she pronounced it "Expresso."

In nerve-grating potential, that's second only to "nucular".



Mike

Mike, I agree completely.

I had an astronomy professor who used to pronounce nucleus "nuculus" all the time. It drove me crazy. And of course we all know the famous person who still says "nucular"despite the fact that his advisors certainly have tried to set him straight!

[Jenise]

I think the chicken pot pie you described sounds pretty bad. Tough to beat that. Her savory dishes don't usually seem that bad. Usually just roasted or grilled something or other--usually with barbecue sauce or sour cream added). Her desserts and sides are the worst. I know I've mentioned the store bought angel food cake with marshmallows stuffed into the hole, iced with store bought frosting in a can to which blue food coloring was added......

How about those "beautiful, festive and GORGEOUS tablescapes" though?

That wasn't a pot pie, that was a stew! I haven't seen her show enough to have a sense of 'worst' except to observe that she prepares almost no fresh vegetables, I've never seen a salad, and the only thing I've ever heard her say about nutrition was that wrapping bacon around a hot dog is "a great way!" to get more protein into kids.

You're right that the desserts are probably the most amusing. I saw her shape ice creams so that the finished product "looks just like a baked potato!" It was never explained why you would want to do this.

Not only does she always say expresso -- and she often refers to "fiend herbs," too!
However, she would make a perfect next door neighbor during cocktail hour -- that woman knows how to make a drink! (Of course, you have to trash the strange things she "dec-COR-rates" them with -- like the time she impaled a gingerbread man on the edge of the martini glass....)

[Jenise]

Carrie, here's a picture of the abomination I spoke of, enjoy!

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_36323,00.html?rsrc=search

Carrie, here's a picture of the abomination I spoke of, enjoy!

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_36323,00.html?rsrc=search

Okay, I'm convinced. The woman had at least 5 too many of her spiked mocha egg creams.

[Jenise]

Carrie, here's a picture of the abomination I spoke of, enjoy!

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_36323,00.html?rsrc=search

Okay, I'm convinced. The woman had at least 5 too many of her spiked mocha egg creams.

Did you read the reviews? Here's the best:

So Sad. This was Not Eaten.
03/20/2007 at 10:35am
User: Tiffnee from Detroit, MI
My little granddaughter and her Brownie Troop just got their nature badges. Time for a celebration!! Unfortunately, they mistook the Baked Potato Ice Cream I made for them for a huge poisonous puffball mushroom and refused to eat it.

Oh my god, you guys I am literally laughing out loud!
Martha, thank you for the link to the photo. In my wildest dreams I wouldn't have been able to picture an ice cream dessert shaped like a potato, and as Jenise says, why would you want one? The comments from the people who made it are a scream. Also, still laughing about the impaled gingerbread man. You can't make this stuff up! Her show is actually great entertainment. I'm going to start TiVOing it.

Expresso - espresso, nucular - nuclear, nuculus - nucleus - How about physical - fiscal. Nerves grated, shredded, minced, finely chopped and sprinkled on top of a recent grad student in economics.

Carrie, here's a picture of the abomination I spoke of, enjoy!

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_36323,00.html?rsrc=search

Hey at least that has some chopped pistachios on it. That's far more real food than most of her other recipes!


Mike

Jenise,


LOL...I mean...WHY? What is the point? Its just a pile of ice cream...why in the world would anyone want to make it look like a friggin potato?

I can't believe Food Network let that in (well...I guess I can believe that actually, nowadays).

Richard

Carrie, here's a picture of the abomination I spoke of, enjoy!

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_36323,00.html?rsrc=search

Lest there be any doubt in *anyone's* mind what this woman is about...

In a five-ingredient "recipe" three brand names are recommended.

There is a restaurant in Santa Fe that has been serving the Baked Potato Ice Cream dessert for years and years... at least 8. It's one of their most popular dishes!!

And of course we all know the famous person who still says "nucular"despite the fact that his advisors certainly have tried to set him straight!

What's odder is that he has a degree in Nuclear Engineering and graduated at the top of his class at the Naval Academy. I think it's just a Southernism, like "all y'all."

I'm HIGHLY annoyed that we're this far into the thread and Jenise still hasn't mentioned the saggy silicone.

And of course we all know the famous person who still says "nucular"despite the fact that his advisors certainly have tried to set him straight!

What's odder is that he has a degree in Nuclear Engineering and graduated at the top of his class at the Naval Academy. I think it's just a Southernism, like "all y'all."

I'm HIGHLY annoyed that we're this far into the thread and Jenise still hasn't mentioned the saggy silicone.

Jimmy Carter's silicone is saggy????!!

That would explain a lot....



Mike

How do you know it is saggy silicone, and not a bad bra?

Since Jenise owns that sort of equipment and I don't, I'm trusting her on this one. I couldn't watch this show long enough to form my own opinion.

I saw her shape ice creams so that the finished product "looks just like a baked potato!" It was never explained why you would want to do this.

A co-worker of mine used to host an April Fool's Day dinner party. All the items were delicious, but none of them looked like what they really were. The dessert one year was the infamous litter box cake. "Baked potato" ice cream would have fit right in.

-Paul W.

or in the foodie world, brushetta as opposed to brusKetta...

I know, Barb. Don't you feel like when you say that word correctly, people look at you as though you are pronouncing it wrong? (Unless they are Italian, that is...) You can't win!