Alpo College Chow

We're all callous sophisticates now, of course, yawning at the prospect of yet another magnum of DRC at yet another palace invite. But there was a time, a time when callow and green, we happily pulled up to any trough filled with calories and stuck our face in. Drink of choice? Anything. Up to, and including, Sterno.

I refer, of course, to our college years.

I recall once hanging with a couple of my fencing teammates in one of the guy's rat hole dorm rooms, starving as usual. The only thing he had remotely resembling "food" in the place was a box of Bisquick and a bottle of Tanqueray gin. No stove. Not even a hotplate. We just poured booze into the mix until it was milkshake consistency, spooned it into glasses, and downed it raw.

It was GREAT.

Coming back up, too

That's just one of many, many sordid culinary memories I still can't seem to purge from....er, I mean, "that I still look fondly back on". (And to think, at the time I was working nights as sous chef at L'Auberge du France. Ah, youth.)

I got other examples (like Chicken Picatta made with Orange Julius because I was out of lemons and, hey, orange is citrus, right?) but how 'bout you? Got any "I can't believe I ate THAT" tales of your own halcyon undergrad years?

[Robin Garr]

I'm sure I'll come up with more upon a little thought, but the English muffin, ketchup and cheese "pizza" in the toaster oven definitely spoke to me.

I also remember first starting to like wine after (1) getting to drink Chianti mixed with 7-Up at the homes of Italian-American friends in NYC as a teen-ager, and then (2) having a moment of epiphany upon tasting Taylor Lake Country Red and suddenly realizing that it tasted like GRAPES! (It was great with Kaukauna Club Port Cheese balls, too.)

Port cheese balls!! Oh my god, talk about dredging up memories...among other things....

Chianti and 7-Up? That's a new one by THIS Italian-American.

Oh, there are so many violations of, um, er, etiquette. Where to begin?

I recall, Freshman year, a group of us ordered in a Domino's pizza and topping each slice of pepperoni with a nonpareil. Amazingly, the chocolate overrode everything -- cheese, sauce, pepperoni, never you mind. It all went down like sludgy, chunky, warm Nesquik.

There was a 6-month period, give or take, when everything was consumed with a paper cup of Mateus rose. One day near Xmas, the stocking fell off the back of the door, and crash! went the bottle of Mateus that was inside it. (No, it was not well-concealed.) Smelling it every day eventually cured us of that habit.

I'm sure I'll think of more but that's a start.

Oh, there are so many violations of, um, er, etiquette. Where to begin?

I recall, Freshman year, a group of us ordered in a Domino's pizza and topping each slice of pepperoni with a nonpareil..

Creative!

Indeed. Lots of fond memories.

Freshman year I was in the dining hall and would eat plate after plate after plate after plate, stacking them up on my tray and then going back to my room afterwards to lay down.

Sophomore year I subsisted off of more-or-less a can of soup topped with a few shakes of Parmesan cheese and a few crackers per day. In order to save money for other recreational pursuits!

By my junior and senior year I had started cooking. Which was good in the long run. But those early days had many dubious sautees of any and everything I could find.

a box of Bisquick and a bottle of Tanqueray gin. No stove. Not even a hotplate. We just poured booze into the mix until it was milkshake consistency, spooned it into glasses, and downed it raw.

It was GREAT.

Also very creative. (Although I guess there was no other choice if those were the only two ingredients available!)

[Robin Garr]

Chianti and 7-Up? That's a new one by THIS Italian-American.

Just for the kids, not the grown-ups ...

Chianti and 7-Up? That's a new one by THIS Italian-American.

Just for the kids, not the grown-ups ...

Pretty wussie kids in your group. My family mixed Chianti with grappa for us.

[Robin Garr]

Pretty wussie kids in your group. My family mixed Chianti with grappa for us.