Desert Island Cheese Question

We're having some fun in another group responding to the time-honored "what would you choose for your deserted island castaway time?", wherein I asked about spirits.

But here in the kitchen, let's make the question about cheese.

If you were stranded on said desert island and had sorely limited access to cheese...let's say you were able to grab only three cheeses to sustain you until rescue, but you had access to a bountiful selection from which to choose.---- Which three cheeses would make the cut?

I'll refrain from putting mine in, for now; but I'm eager to see the choices of the denizens of the forum.

Assuming I didn't have to worry about refrigeration, and with unlimited bread to accompany the cheese:

Of the top of my head, I'd say Époisse, St André and, assuming unlimited quantities of tomatoes, olive oil and basil, fresh buffalo mozzarella. If I had unlimited pasta dishes available, I might substitute pecorino pepato for the buffalo mozzarella,

Roquefort, sharp cheddar and fresh buffalo mozzarella.

This is an interesting question, although it depends on whether I would be using the cheese for eating plain or for cooking.

Either way, I'm not really sure that the desert island environment and eco-system really goes with a lot of cheese/dairy products, but I suppose we'll have to suspend disbelief on that.

For eating, I would want something young and fresh (like a young chevre), something rich and creamy (French double cream), and then something aged and complex.

For cooking, Parmesan, taleggio and mozzarella or gruyere might do the trick, and essentially cover the same bases, but in a more cooking-friendly way.

[Robin Garr]

I don't think I could even come close to getting it down to three, but when I look at the cheeses we always have available at home, the primary pick has to be Parmigiano, the real deal, cut from the wheel.

After that we've always got a mild goat cheese and a sharp cheddar. That brings us to three. I'd like to add something in the mozzarella/farmer cheese/queso/paneer category, though. And we haven't even started talking about the panoply of great French and Italian cheeses. So, three only? Nope! Can't be done. But for the purposes of this argument I find myself coming back to the same point as I did on desert island booze: Desert island people can't be picky, can't be snobs. You've got to stick with the basics, or else you're just playing around.

Epoisses, Parmigiano Reggiano, and Comte for me.

-Paul W.

I don't think I could even come close to getting it down to three,

Oh, that's the agony of this. Just when I attempt to narrow it down to three I say "But....but....but...."

No matter how you slice it (heh) with only three choices possible you're going to be forced to lose out on some types of cheeses.

Guess it comes down to what you're willing to sacrifice. And neither of us likes that kind of sacrifice, especially with our favorite cheeses.

So Chevre-style, soft rind, cheddar family, Parmigiana/Grana Padano/manchego, Gruyere/Emmentaler, Epoisses, gouda, and what about all the manifestations of Blue/Bleu?????

But it's the 'impossible' questions that are the most interesting to think about, right?

A desert island is just a funny kind of party so it's party-planning time! As we might be attending this particular party for a good long while, yumminess must be balanced with diversity. So, it's a blue, a goat (fresh), and a hard cheese.

Among the blues there are many, many good ones but let's plunk for roquefort. If That Mean Ol' Robin won't let me choose that one, then switch to Stilton or Maytag or Saint-Agur or Dolce Gorgonzola or, really, anything that doesn't bite me back too hard. (I'm looking at you, Cabrales, as a cheese that rarely gets to me in a condition I like.)

Fresh chevre is a class unto itself, not too fussy where it came from. Selles-sur-cher is nice, as are many others.

Hard cheese, for me, is either a sharp cheddar or a lip-smacking "Swiss" type (=> Comte).

I realize that I have abandoned all the runny cheeses and all the triple-cremes but a desert island is all about privation, no?

Geez, Hoke, this is even tougher than the booze one!

One of my biggest problems here is all of the cheeses I can't pick because I haven't tried them yet. Give me a couple of years in France and Italy, and I could come up with a more definitive trio. (Or maybe just a lot more confusion.) But leaving aside the heartbreak of not being able to taste all of the necessary cheeses needed to give a solid answer, I'd have to go with sharp cheddar, Parmigiano, and something soft and runny - Epoisses or something else along those lines. The cheddar would be for nibbling on, for grilled cheese sandwiches, for mac and cheese, and for stuff like gougeres. The Parmigiano would be nibbling and for all kinds of cooking uses. The runny one, just for nibbling.

It would be terrible to be stuck without any good bleu/blue, but what do you do?

A desert island is just a funny kind of party so it's party-planning time! As we might be attending this particular party for a good long while, yumminess must be balanced with diversity. So, it's a blue, a goat (fresh), and a hard cheese.

Among the blues there are many, many good ones but let's plunk for roquefort. If That Mean Ol' Robin won't let me choose that one, then switch to Stilton or Maytag or Saint-Agur or Dolce Gorgonzola or, really, anything that doesn't bite me back too hard. (I'm looking at you, Cabrales, as a cheese that rarely gets to me in a condition I like.)

Fresh chevre is a class unto itself, not too fussy where it came from. Selles-sur-cher is nice, as are many others.

Hard cheese, for me, is either a sharp cheddar or a lip-smacking "Swiss" type (=> Comte).

I realize that I have abandoned all the runny cheeses and all the triple-cremes but a desert island is all about privation, no?

You were doing so well, snarkboy, right up until the end---and thereby reinforcing the impossible nature of this challenge. Where, oh where, is the Parmigiano/Reggiano? All other choices, and reasoning thereof, were lovely, but I wouldn't want to be at any party where they told me I couldn't have aged parmaganio.

It's the 'choose only three' that gets you every time.

It would be terrible to be stuck without any good ______, but what do you do?

And therein lies the quandary. The tyranny of only three. No matter how I try, I cannot get it down to less than four.

So right now I'm going with Chevre-style goat, soft-ripened/runny/rich, bleu and parmigiano.

Oh. Wait! That means I am without cheddar. Perhaps I could smuggle in a never-ending wedge of Fiscalini Farms Bandage Wrapped Aged Cheddar on the sly.

Damn, I might have to give up one of those bottles of booze to fill the slot with cheese.

Mozarella? Oooh, oooh, burrata! If Yaniger was stranded also, I could steal his burrata, because I know he'd have some.

Surprised that so many folks have such strong affection for cheddar.

Yes I've had the good stuff, but it still wouldn't make my top 10. Maybe it's the crumbly element that diminishes it in my view, because I don't love the hard English cheeses in general.

I much prefer the silk of aged grueye/comte or the layered nutty intensity of aged Italian/Spanish cheeses.

Where, oh where, is the Parmigiano/Reggiano?

I use it grated or shredded far more often than I serve chunks with balsmico.

And, yes, we know it's the 'three only' limit that is the problem.

Imagine what becomes of all the second-tier cheeses! The ones that are really good now and then, but don't fit any culinary niche better than the mainstays. For example, gouda will never surpass cheddar or swiss but occasionally I like it quite well. Does anyone eat Saint-Marcellin instead of Epoisses? Yet it's a fine, runny, ripe cow's milk cheese. Torta del Casar instead of Vacherin Mont d'Or? And so on.

Jeff, we're just too damned effete for our own good.

Jeff, we're just too damned effete for our own good.

You ain't kidding.

But I'm not sure who is manly enough these days. I was at a BBQ joint yesterday and there were three good ol' boys at the next table telling hunting stories. Loudly. Anyway, this one guy eventually told a story about himself, instead of his grandfather, which ended with him not knowing how to field dress or butcher the boar. The story proceeded that he also did not really know how to cook it (...ending with the police being called about the rather large fire). He laughed but I'm thinking, "You're an idiot."

This is tough. If I had to pick domestic, I'd go Winnimere from Jasper Hill, Humboldt Fog from Cypress Grove, and my own homemade mozzarella from local raw cow's milk. If choosing imported, I'm thinking Cabrales, Délice de Bourgogne, and P'tit Basque.

[Jenise]

'Tyranny of only three', to quote Hoke, is right.

Okay, first I have to pose a condition: IF my island has tomatoes, then yes, fresh whole milk mozzarella is 100% necessary. But parmesan isn't, because this is an island after all so I am supposing my diet will be vegetarian and I won't be needing that parm for my veal bologenese. My other two cheese choices would be better spent on cheeses to eat out of hand. I would choose a creamy swiss like Jarlsberg because it is probably my very favorite cheese to whack off a snack-sized hunk of, and then a softer more spreadable cheese, either a rich nutty blue like Cabrales which, when it's good, is the best blue I've ever eaten, or a soft-ripened Burgundian style like Soumaintran or is it Soumantrain which I would yes choose over Epoisses, heavenly as the latter can be. Okay: Cabrales it is.

'Tyranny of only three', to quote Hoke, is right.

Okay, first I have to pose a condition: IF my island has tomatoes, then yes, fresh whole milk mozzarella is 100% necessary. But parmesan isn't, because this is an island after all so I am supposing my diet will be vegetarian and I won't be needing that parm for my veal bologenese. My other two cheese choices would be better spent on cheeses to eat out of hand. I would choose a creamy swiss like Jarlsberg because it is probably my very favorite cheese to whack off a snack-sized hunk of, and then a softer more spreadable cheese, either a rich nutty blue like Cabrales which, when it's good, is the best blue I've ever eaten, or a soft-ripened Burgundian style like Soumaintran or is it Soumantrain which I would yes choose over Epoisses, heavenly as the latter can be. Okay: Cabrales it is.

You're overthinking the desert island part of this Jenise. And who's to say on this desert island there are not wild goats running amuck (because amuch is how wild goats run)? So at least goat bolognese could be possible.

And what's to stop the fantasy of curiously regular packets of assorted cheeses (carefully packed, of course) washing up on your island shore?

Hey, it's your desert island, so impose whatever rules you would like. I can understand tomatoes, for sure. Having said bufala mozzarella (or burrata) on hand and NOT having tomatoes would be agony indeed.

Moi? I would also hope that, along with my cheeses, I would have access to some almond cakes and membrillo, if not as well some delicately thin and crackly little fig and olive crackers.

[Jenise]

Hey, it's your desert island, so impose whatever rules you would like.

Understood re the goats, but I wouldn't be able to butcher my fellow inhabitants so am presuming only things that fall off bushes and trees would be in my island pantry.

Yeah I know I'm overthinking it, but my ability to relate comes from a book I read when I was 10 called 'Island of the Blue Dolphins'. It was a true story of survival wherein a native girl somehow got separated from her people and washed ashore on an otherwise uninhabited island where she lived for several years before being discovered. She made skirts out of cormorant feathers.

So that's my island: washed ashore, making skirts out of cormorant feathers and doing clever things with coconuts. It was with great license that I requested tomatoes; wouldn't dare wish for much more.

Hey, it's your desert island, so impose whatever rules you would like.

Understood re the goats, but I wouldn't be able to butcher my fellow inhabitants so am presuming only things that fall off bushes and trees would be available.

Yeah I know I'm overthinking it, but my ability to relate comes from a book I read when I was 10 called 'Island of the Blue Dolphins'. It was a true story of survival wherein a native girl somehow got separated from her people and washed ashore on an otherwise uninhabited island where she lived for several years before being discovered. She made skirts out of cormorant feathers.

So that's my island: washed ashore, making skirts out of cormorant feathers and doing clever things with coconuts. It was with great license that I request tomatoes; wouldn't dare wish for much more.

I will henceforth picture you wearing a skirt of cormorant feathers. I already have pictured you doing clever things with coconuts, but no photos.

Jeez, Joy brings up Humboldt Fog and now Jenise has my thinking of Cabrales.

That's it - I'm making a swim for the mainland.

Washed rind Red Hawk by Cowgirl Creamery would be my choice. (But then Humboldt Fog, Stilton so many others) One problem I see is that a really full flavored cheese on my island - well, I might get tied of it sooner rather than later, so maybe a mild Danish Fontina - or that cheese that has the peppercorns embedded in it (I forget the name).
Tough question - a lot tougher than the desert island wine question.

Tough question - a lot tougher than the desert island wine question.

Sure it is: after three bottles of wine, it doesn't matter what the fourth one tastes like.