Are you happy to see me or is that wine in your pants?

Ray Dominguez stole a cheese knife at the Albuquerque Talin International Market that he used to open their wine cabinet. Then he shoved 10 bottles of wine worth $970 down his undershorts that he had duct-taped to his legs to form a sort of bag and waddled out of the store.

On his second trip to the store, he shoved five bottles of Dom Perignon champagne worth $675 down his shorts.

On his third trip, he fled when he noticed people looking funny at him. The store manager got his license plate number, and now the shoplifter is in a basement wine cellar with bars.

Ray Dominguez stole a cheese knife at the Albuquerque Talin International Market that he used to open their wine cabinet. Then he shoved 10 bottles of wine worth $970 down his undershorts that he had duct-taped to his legs to form a sort of bag and waddled out of the store.

On his second trip to the store, he shoved five bottles of Dom Perignon champagne worth $675 down his shorts.

On his third trip, he fled when he noticed people looking funny at him. The store manager got his license plate number, and now the shoplifter is in a basement wine cellar with bars.

Do the bars have bartenders???

Sointently.

Ray Dominguez stole a cheese knife at the Albuquerque Talin International Market that he used to open their wine cabinet. Then he shoved 10 bottles of wine worth $970 down his undershorts that he had duct-taped to his legs to form a sort of bag and waddled out of the store.

On his second trip to the store, he shoved five bottles of Dom Perignon champagne worth $675 down his shorts.

On his third trip, he fled when he noticed people looking funny at him. The store manager got his license plate number, and now the shoplifter is in a basement wine cellar with bars.

$1645 worth of stolen free wine wasn't quite enough, eh?

It would have been really great if he'd tried to return the corked bottles. Guess he got caught a little too early for that.


Mike

If it's not wine in his pants then it is most certainly his BALLS.

Somebody tried this in a seafood market and shoved a live lobster down his pants. Unfortunately he knocked loose one of the rubber bands holding fast the lobster's claws. The enraged lobster grabbed at the nearest thing handy. The would-be shoplifter ended up in the hospital emergency room with very painful and embarrassing severe lacerations.

Ignorance is bris??

-Paul W.

Somebody tried this in a seafood market and shoved a live lobster down his pants. Unfortunately he knocked loose one of the rubber bands holding fast the lobster's claws. The enraged lobster grabbed at the nearest thing handy. The would-be shoplifter ended up in the hospital emergency room with very painful and embarrassing severe lacerations.

Ignorance is bris??

-Paul W.

ba da bing...been to da Catskills lately???