It's a guy thing, right?

[Jenise]

http://www.chefscatalog.com/product/29220-rsvp-grillin-goggles.aspx

For those who like gadgets.

Though I'll admit I could use something over my eyes when I'm pan-sauteeing salmon. By the time I've stood it up on the fourth edge the fumes coming off the hot fat are pretty irritating.

I wonder why they did not make them to fit over glasses, or at least, offer a model which does. I don't know about other grillers, but the griller in my house would not remember to put them on. He does not even use all the tools I bought him for his grill...always comes in the house and grabs my kitchen tools.

Don't mind the smoke at all. It kills all the bugs on me.

Smoke maybe, but how do you get splatter on a grill?

[Jenise]

Smoke maybe, but how do you get splatter on a grill?

Immaterial! You're supposed to just stand there and believe you look cooler than Guy Fieri and THAT'S all that matters. Next stop: peroxide.

The "innovative grilling eye protection technology" part sold me. I mean, the old grilling eye protection technology was so cumbersome and inefficient.

[Jenise]

Tom, while you're at it, you might pick up these for Wifey.

http://www.chefscatalog.com/product/25483-onion-goggles.aspx

They must work, because all the one-sentence over-the-top endorsements from Real People Like You (tm) say they do.

... from Real People Like You (tm)....

Bwaaahahahaaaa! Very good

Those look suspiciously like re-branded innovative BBQ goggles, if you ask me. But that's a moot point, as getting them for NewWifey(tm) would be like getting golf clubs for my corgi. (Although come to think of it, if they provide an effective barrier against onion fumes they might give her some relief finally from my halitosis-like post-workout back hair.)

Not sure about the grill goggles and even less sure about the onion goggles.
For my money the best way to avoid onion fumes is by placing a small, say 6inch, fan blowing across you cutting surface when preparing
onions works brilliantly and keeps you cool on other occasions (ladies on the board will understand!) Cost? 5-10 dollars here. And you can wear
your spectacles.

[Jenise]

... from Real People Like You (tm)....

Bwaaahahahaaaa! Very good

Those look suspiciously like re-branded innovative BBQ goggles, if you ask me. But that's a moot point, as getting them for NewWifey(tm) would be like getting golf clubs for my corgi. (Although come to think of it, if they provide an effective barrier against onion fumes they might give her some relief finally from my halitosis-like post-workout back hair.)

Golf clubs for the corgi made me laugh out loud. GREAT visual. Since you love that breed, try to picture the blend in my neighborhood. Two purebreds got together, and their offspring got the short legs and body shape of it's corgi mother. EVerything else--head shape, color, style of coat, EVERYTHING, came from it's father. A rottweiler. You have never seen a funnier-looking dog in your life.

But I digress! Here's something else for you and NewWifey: I'm imagining the two of you grilling together in your goggles while enjoying a glass of wine...hands free! The neighbors will be green with envy.
http://www.amazon.com/Wine-Enthusiast-Glass-Holder-Necklace/dp/B000W43HF4/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1375370489&sr=8-2&keywords=wine+glass+neck+holder

Ha Haaaaaaa! You've got to send a pic of that Corgweiller to the corgi cross-breed list! http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/awesome- ... oss-breeds .

That pendulous wine glass holder is very nice. But NewWifey(tm) and I prefer the comfort and convenience of our matching wine racks: http://www.amazon.com/The-WineRack-200- ... s=wine+bra (I wanted the Beer Belly http://www.amazon.com/The-BeerBelly-200 ... pd_sim_k_1 , but she said it wasn't classy enough.)

[Jenise]

That pendulous wine glass holder is very nice. But NewWifey(tm) and I prefer the comfort and convenience of our matching wine racks: http://www.amazon.com/The-WineRack-200- ... s=wine+bra (I wanted the Beer Belly http://www.amazon.com/The-BeerBelly-200 ... pd_sim_k_1 , but she said it wasn't classy enough.)

Please reassure me that you'll get more wine in your wine bra than she'll get in hers.

Otherwise, I agree with her about the beer belly. UNLESS you wear it on a mankini. You might in fact already have one. Is that you, second from the right?

http://www.clothestopose.co.uk/mankini-thongs-9-c.asp

Yep. Green was always my color, no?

[Jenise]

Yep. Green was always my color, no?

Absolutely. However--and this is just my personal opinion--but I think your junk looks better in the leopard print.

I actually have one in paisley for formal occasions, but I think you're right: animal prints really do the trick when you're trying to impress.