Here's mine:
1. Yesterday at a grocery store I bought a case of assorted wines that were on a fabulous sale. Each wine bottle had a discount coupon hanging on its neck. I showed up at an empty checkout at about the same time as some guy with only a six pack. I offered that he go first, "...because if you're standing in my line, you're in the wrong line. Something will go wrong."
Sometimes I can be so prescient. The cashier rang up the full price of the wines and then proceeded to scan the discount coupons one at a time. I knew something was going wrong as I watched my net price get smaller and smaller. Finally, the numbers ended at -$1.59. The cashier looked very confused and started to tell me that I owed $1.59, but she suddenly noticed the minus sign.
I told her that I thought I would buy a lot more wine if they would continue to pay me for the privilege. A manager finally had to start all over to straighten things out. And I said to the six-pack guy: "Told you so."
2. Today I hadn't eaten lunch so I needed a quick, cheap fuel fix. I ordered a beef and potato burrito at a fast food joint that I won't name because you'll laugh at me. I asked a couple of questions about what was in two of the burritos, but the response was so vague and other-worldly, I couldn't understand it.
The burrito arrived as a chicken and rice burrito (I ate it anyway). But on the plus side, I had given the cashier $1.50 for a $1.38 burrito and got 42 cents in change. And I found a dime next to my truck in the parking lot.
What's your latest tale?