When dining out fails

[Jenise]

So last night we went out with four other couples to celebrate someone's birthday. The restaurant, chosen by someone else, was a new branch of a local steakhouse that's popular for reasons Bob and I can't fathom. Our one visit to the restaurant's original location consisted of a goulash soup that was heartburn city, followed by a very good steak served with fried potatoes made from yesterday's baked potatoes (I hate the taste of twice cooked potato) and fresh green beans tossed with bacon grease that unfortunately tasted, to my palate, a bit rancid. The wine list was poor, too, either ridiculously overpriced dreck and maybe two better bottles that were marked up beyond reason. Besides steak, the restaurant's other specialty is--wait for it--schnitzel, which was deepfried not pan fried, and served with oversweetened red cabbage and instant spaetzle.

So we weren't exactly looking forward to last night but approached it with an open mind for having fun and a determination play it safe witha steak and baked potato. I took a good bottle of older Washington cab from our cellar to share. The restaurant wasn't full; there were maybe four other occcupied tables in addition to ours, all parties of four or less, and one couple in the bar. The bartender had a clear view of the dining room, especially our ten-top. A hostess was also around, bussing tables to stay busy.

First we killed two bottles of champagne brought by two of the other couples. The servings were terribly uneven: several glasses were poured nearly full and some, like mine, were so far below the halfway mark it looked like someone else already drank them. One guy in the group didn't drink at all; his wife drank the champagnes but refused the red wine that came later. While we were drinking the bubblies, the waiter took orders for appetizers. The half non-drinking couple announced that "we don't do shared appetizers" and ordered themselves bowls of soup. Fair enough; everybody else ordered stuff that got passed about. Meanwhile we had to beg for wine lists to get another red wine for the mains. To explain why he hadn't brought the wine list before, even though my bottle with it's bright red bulbous wax cap was conspicuously on the table throughout, the waiter said he thought we were only going to drink those two bottles of champagne.

The wine list was as problematic as I remembered from the other location, absent vintage dates and having only one option between an $18 plonk and the unexciting remainder of the list overpriced at $75-100 with one oddball at $230. It was a Chateau Ste. Michelle Indian Wells at $32, so that's what we ordered. The mains started arriving even before we got that order placed, and we didn't even have wine glasses yet. So I grabbed my bottle and charged off to put the bartender to work. "I'll open it and let it breathe," he said. I informed him that did nothing and we couldn't wait anyhow, "Don't you have a decanter?" He sent the hostess off to find one, and started wagging my bottle up and around in every direction trying to get the wax off. "That's no way to handle fine wine, place the bottle on a flat surface," I instructed. "Well it's not like I'm holding it upside down!", he countered. But actually, if sediment had been an issue, it was. He was just too Jethro to understand.

Eventually we had wine and could eat. I ordered a NY strip with a peppercorn-brandy sauce and sliced tomatoes in place of a potato. Looking around, everybody got green beans and they're not the green beans I remember: from frozen, limp and overcooked, and completely undressed. My 'sliced tomatoes' was a wimpy roma cut into three chunks. The person next to me asked for the "scalloped potato" (fries and baked were the other options), and it was the same second-day recooked potato I remember from the other place. Some got the schnitzels, and those came with an obviously freshly made spaetzle, which was nice to see. The steaks were cooked perfectly but were seriously oversalted (and I like salt). The brandy sauce on mine was actually good and a fortunate option, as it dulled the over-salting.

No one wanted dessert so finally came time to pay the bill, and the half non-drinking couple announced that they're not going to pay for any of the wine. So they worked with the waiter to identify the cost of their meal plus the auto-gratuity, and paid him $60. This conveniently managed to avoid them being tagged with a contribution for the birthday boy's meal, and his wife's, as we'd agreed to earlier. The bills for the remaining three couples? $135 each. No great loss, but unfair.

So today, instead of having another great restaurant experience to savor and be inspired by, I know yet another restaurant I won't bother with and one couple I'll decline to dine with ever again.

I hate it when this happens.

I would find the restaurant's sins more forgivable than the couple's. I hate cheap people who want to dine out on your dime!

Wow. Sorry you had such a dreadful evening.

So basically, the people running the place don't care at all about anything besides steak, and *really* don't care about training the staff. Yikes.

I know a couple like that. Unfortunately, they were work colleagues/friends of the guy I was involved with at the time, so we had to do this sort of evening fairly regularly. After a while, I started making excuses for why I couldn't go along, although nobody else seemed to mind it. (And their company was not IMNSHO worth putting up with this other stuff.)

[Jenise]

hate cheap people who want to dine out on your dime!

Unfortunately, in this case I think the suspect couple interpreted the situation in the reverse, that if they'd ponied up then we'd have been dining out on their dime! They'd have only been right in that some (but not all) entrees cost more than theirs, but since 1) the whole point was to treat the birthday couple (their best friends by the way), 2) the event itself was their idea, and 3) she did share in the champagnes that others bore the sole expense of, then they had an obligation to participate.

I actually wouldn't have minded so much if the meal had been better. But as it was, the whole evening was a struggle and ended on a very sour note.

...I know yet another restaurant I won't bother with and one couple I'll decline to dine with ever again.

Wouldn't it be nice if they could read your post? Nice - but they probably would not change their ways.

[Jenise]

Wow. Sorry you had such a dreadful evening.

So basically, the people running the place don't care at all about anything besides steak, and *really* don't care about training the staff. Yikes.

Pretty much. The guy who owns it is just cheap and thinks he's fooling everybody. I'm sure he believes nobody here can tell the difference between fresh and frozen green beans.

I know a couple like that. Unfortunately, they were work colleagues/friends of the guy I was involved with at the time, so we had to do this sort of evening fairly regularly. After a while, I started making excuses for why I couldn't go along, although nobody else seemed to mind it. (And their company was not IMNSHO worth putting up with this other stuff.)

We used to go out often with a couple who did the opposite. The guy was a real streetwise kind of player-wannabe and his girlfriend was obviously primed in advance to order to the hilt since the rest of the group would subsidize her meal. Extra champagne? Check. Foie gras appetizer? Check. Most expensive entree on the menu? Check. After dinner drinks? Check. The result was that Bob and I who ordered just what we wanted, and modestly by comparison, would end up with a $200 check for a meal that would have cost us $125 were it just the two of us. We finally put them on our Do Not Call list.

But the truth is, most of us understand that for every time we're under the average on other occasions we'll be over the average, and splitting the check treats everyone fairly over time. Those who don't should never dine with groups.

Pretty much. The guy who owns it is just cheap and thinks he's fooling everybody. I'm sure he believes nobody here can tell the difference between fresh and frozen green beans.

Exactly. And judging from the popularity of this guy's places, most people there can't, or just don't care. You are the exception.

But the truth is, most of us understand that for every time we're under the average on other occasions we'll be over the average, and splitting the check treats everyone fairly over time. Those who don't should never dine with groups.

Agreed!

I've known a couple from a food and wine email discussion list for about 18 years. They *never* bring enough cash to cover what their share should be. They were dismayed when I whipped out my Square and said, "No problem, I can take your card for your share, but I'll have to add 3% to cover the fee I'll have to pay to collect it."

[Jenise]

Exactly. And judging from the popularity of this guy's places, most people there can't

Seems to be about right. But in their defense, one friend--well, ex-friend apparently--loves those potatoes. She grew up on refried baked potatoes and these taste good to her. So, different strokes and all, but no way should what they do be mistaken for fine dining. Unfortunately, up here, it is.

They were dismayed when I whipped out my Square and said, "No problem, I can take your card for your share, but I'll have to add 3% to cover the fee I'll have to pay to collect it."

Brava! That's just fantastic, how long did it take them to pry their jaws off the floor?

hate cheap people who want to dine out on your dime!

Unfortunately, in this case I think the suspect couple interpreted the situation in the reverse, that if they'd ponied up then we'd have been dining out on their dime! They'd have only been right in that some (but not all) entrees cost more than theirs, but since 1) the whole point was to treat the birthday couple (their best friends by the way), 2) the event itself was their idea, and 3) she did share in the champagnes that others bore the sole expense of, then they had an obligation to participate.

I actually wouldn't have minded so much if the meal had been better. But as it was, the whole evening was a struggle and ended on a very sour note.

What a nightmare of an outing, Jenise. I think that your reading of their attitude is correct, but they sound like particularly unpleasant company for dinner out. It reminds me, in a vague way, of the group outings in graduate school where, at the insistence of certain parties, we'd painfully divvy up the bill and everyone would pony up what they were determined to owe. Usually I was the person collecting money and almost invariably we'd be short $5-10 despite all of us being math-capable scientists. Tiresome in the extreme it was. Like you, though, if the food was good I would just chalk it up to the cost of dining out in NYC and have done with it.

Mark Lipton

I've known a couple from a food and wine email discussion list for about 18 years. They *never* bring enough cash to cover what their share should be. They were dismayed when I whipped out my Square and said, "No problem, I can take your card for your share, but I'll have to add 3% to cover the fee I'll have to pay to collect it."

I laughed out loud when I read that. Many's the time I wished that I could do just that. That behavior also reminds me of the participant on a wine board (not this one, mercifully) who's well renowned for bringing plonk to offlines despite having a cellar full of gems. Some people not only have no class, but apparently no self-awareness either.

Mark Lipton

Brava! That's just fantastic, how long did it take them to pry their jaws off the floor?

Not as long as you might imagine. But they haven't pulled the "not enough cash" routine since.

Some people not only have no class, but apparently no self-awareness either.

You know, I used to give people the benefit of the doubt, Mark, but no longer. I think they know exactly what they are doing and it's a kind of "#$@! you" to the group. I'm so done with people like that.

Brava! That's just fantastic, how long did it take them to pry their jaws off the floor?

Not as long as you might imagine. But they haven't pulled the "not enough cash" routine since.

Some people not only have no class, but apparently no self-awareness either.

You know, I used to give people the benefit of the doubt, Mark, but no longer. I think they know exactly what they are doing and it's a kind of "#$@! you" to the group. I'm so done with people like that.

Oh, I agree completely. My self-awareness comment is that they apparently fail to realize that everyone else is on to their little ruse and finds it both juvenile and tiresome. Those who still socialize with them usually do it with noses held.

Mark Lipton
(also done with them just by a process of attrition, mercifully)

Sympathies.

Few places worse than a badly run steakhouse restaurant. And few things more grinchy than dining companions with alligator arms. Guess it's worse when the people are in a gregarious situation, enjoying the ambiance and conviviality of the entire company and then scrooge out when the time comes to share the bill for the evening----not the bill for what you had specifically, but for the evening. Folks like that deserve to be embarrassed and ostracized so they can end up eating their cold gruel alone.

On the other hand, since this is the season for being gracious, there are so many of those with style and generosity abounding, who unfailingly bring the best of what they have to share, and enjoy it all the better because they are sharing it. And isn't that a description of most offlines and communal meetings amongst the denizens of this forum?

The Kesslers, JBL and Lynn, Jenise, Mark....hey, we could be here all night.

I recall one time, many years ago at a WLDG offline where a woman with whom I had some several touchy moments but whom I had never actually met in person had taken the time and trouble to donate an exceptionally good bottle of wine to a Chicago event so we could all enjoy partaking of it even though she wasn't there. (Jenise, you know the woman I am referring to.) Those are the people I treasure; the small minded ones I dismiss.

[Jenise]

Guess it's worse when the people are in a gregarious situation, enjoying the ambiance and conviviality of the entire company and then scrooge out when the time comes to share the bill for the evening....

I recall one time, many years ago at a WLDG offline where a woman with whom I had some several touchy moments but whom I had never actually met in person had taken the time and trouble to donate an exceptionally good bottle of wine to a Chicago event so we could all enjoy partaking of it even though she wasn't there. (Jenise, you know the woman I am referring to.) Those are the people I treasure; the small minded ones I dismiss.

I'm just SO tired of being disappointed in the food locally. I've watched the best places in town systematically close while places like this thrive and expand. And if things get worse, Olive Garden will be the last one standing. So perplexing!

Yes, I do know who you mean. And she could be quite generous. But so many people in the wine community are, which is why I/we love being part of it.

When you go to a minor league steakhouse with schnorrers, I wouldn't exactly call that dining.

When you go to a minor league steakhouse with schnorrers, I wouldn't exactly call that dining.

You're absolutely correct!!!!!! Hey I say something when you're wrong. Thanks Covert I was reading each post and feeling sorry for Jenise and what a terrible way to spend an evening. I read your post and couldn't help but laugh out loud but I'm sure Jenise has not reached that state of mind yet.

Condolences, Jenise. You are quite right to scratch those people off your list. I recall too many meals, as Mark relates, where precious good mood is expended on bill manipulations that really make no difference in the end. I recall, with particular glee, a wedding rehearsal breakfast for some friends... there must have been 20 of us at the table, the kitchen was horribly slow, so we're rushing rushing rushing to get done with the payment so we can dash over to the chapel and ONE idiot wants to divide the bill. In a rare display of group sense, all 19 of us shouted him down.

(( Q to Mark Lipton... why did you mention NYC? Nothing in Jenise's report indicated that to me. ))

[Jenise]

but I'm sure Jenise has not reached that state of mind yet.

You'd be wrong! Generally, when I post I'm ready to laugh (and I'm careful to not post when angry--when I do, I always seem to say something I'm sorry about.)

but I'm sure Jenise has not reached that state of mind yet.

You'd be wrong! Generally, when I post I'm ready to laugh (and I'm careful to not post when I'm angry--when I do, I always seem to say something I'm sorry about.)

I have to admit that, like Lou, I was actually laughing out loud, several times really, over about an hour's time, envisioning you and Bob sitting there with those people - and I am laughing right now, again. Incongruity is the source of humor. Like when Robert Parker was one time scheduled on a TV show in which he was supposed to be interviewed. Some schumck ran way over in his mindless bit and Parker was brought out just before sign-off. The interviewer said, “We don’t have much time; so, Bob, what’s your favorite white zin?”

(( Q to Mark Lipton... why did you mention NYC? Nothing in Jenise's report indicated that to me. ))

Easy, Jeff: I was relating my own experiences as a grad student at Columbia which, despite all effort to the contrary, remains in NYC.

Mark Lipton

1 - don't let the restaurant pour wine you brought, insist on pouring yourself. They always get it worng and pour for designated drivers etc.

2 - I think I'd have insisted that the wife of the 1/2 nondrinking couple either cough up the money for her share of the wine, or cough up the wine she'd drunk! But I agree with not seeing them again a,d telling your other friends why if they should ask. Geez!