Do we tip "kindly"? Should we?

[Robin Garr]

This article in Richmond.com is interesting to me ...

What Makes a Good Tip?

Ask a group of restaurant customers about how generously they should tip servers when dining out, and you’ll get an array of answers. But ask a barista, a bartender, a waiter or a waitress the same question, and you’ll probably hear about how much those tips contribute to their income.

That’s because some patrons view tipping as an act of kindness, but many food service workers look at it as a lifeline.

http://www2.richmond.com/entertainment/ ... r-1315405/

And it's getting a lot of comments in multiple shares on Facebook, including mine:
http://www.facebook.com/robin.garr/post ... 1554548001

Let's talk about it here. Read the top link, and let us know what you think!

Please explain to me why restaurants can't afford to pay their staff a living wage in the USA, Israel and other bastions of unfettered capitalism, while in Japan and much of Europe waiters can earn a living wage without their employers going under, and tipping is absolutely NOT required??

Please explain to me why restaurants can't afford to pay their staff a living wage in the USA, Israel and other bastions of unfettered capitalism, while in Japan and much of Europe waiters can earn a living wage without their employers going under, and tipping is absolutely NOT required??

I've wondered this for a long time. I've also wondered about the restaurants who require the wait staff to put tips into a common pot, then tips are split. This is disturbing because If I want to give my wait person $50.00 for excellent service/attention, I don't want part of it going to some lazy/non productive person.
I just heard from an acquaintance that their daughter graduated in marketing from a university, went on to become an esthetician, and is still working at Red Lobster. She has been there since she was 16 years old. Started doing dishes or something in the kitchen. Waits tables now and cannot give up the tips she makes, which are generous.

Splitting tips is simply terrible since tips should be made based upon effort. I worked in F&B many years and firmly believe that good tips come from hard work. If crappy workers get great tips simply because of custom then they will never learn how to get better. A bad tip sends a strong message for them to shape up or find a new industry.

Now, I tend to tip very well when I get good service. I'm not a jerk about it and would RATHER tip well, because I want good service. But if my server is a jerk or pays no attention to me he/she simply is not getting a good tip just because of customs.

[Jenise]

I'm with Matt; I'll tip 20-30% for good service but probably won't leave much at all if inattention led to suffering.

Karen, I'm real surprised that the tips are that good at a Red Lobster. Of course, locations will vary, but I would tend to guess that the tips at chain restaurants (which also attract families with small children) tend to be lower overall than at independent, boutique restaurants.

If withholding a tip because you got horrid service means absolutely nothing except that all of the servers will get a little less that night, the whole concept is out of whack. So is the rule in many restautants that tables over a certaing number of people will have a service charge added whether you like it or not.

Seems to me that restaurants are conspiring with servers using the old concept of a tip to get the servers some unreported income while lowering their own apparent take for the tax man.

I like to think that if I ran a restaurant, I would not have a sharing system between waiters, so they would have incentive to give great service, and wouldn't need one for the back of house staff as I'd pay them a fair wage.

Bill-
In the US, the IRS requires that mandatory tips such as a service charge on larger parties is to be treated as employee wages rather than tip income. I have no idea how closely this rule is practiced or enforced.
BP

Bill-
In the US, the IRS requires that mandatory tips such as a service charge on larger parties is to be treated as employee wages rather than tip income. I have no idea how closely this rule is practiced or enforced.
BP

Same here. If the 'tip' comes to the owner first and is paid out to the server, it gets included in their tax number at the end of the year. That's why servers like cash tips.....

For the difference, see http://www.cra-arc.gc.ca/tx/hm/tps-eng.html

[Jenise]

I like to think that if I ran a restaurant, I would not have a sharing system between waiters, so they would have incentive to give great service, and wouldn't need one for the back of house staff as I'd pay them a fair wage.

While making lunch just now, I thought of an exception to this, and that's where multiple waiters, sommeliers, separate wine servers et all are involved in the entire dining experience. I don't think I've ever dined at Chez Panisse, for instance, that four-to-six different waitstaff were at my table at one time or the other. In fact, the worst meal I had there, one in which multiple problems occurred (a corked wine, a hair on my pizza, a tepid lamb stew), was in other ways one of the best and definitely the most memorable because the minute my brow furrowed a restaurant personnel in our vicinity, none of whom were the person who took our order initially, observed this and swooped in to remedy the situation. It was like they could read our minds--I've never seen anything like it. The restaurant ended up comping the entire meal, though we left a huge tip that most deservedly belonged to everyone there, because without that teamwork we'd have probably left angry. Instead, we were enormously impressed.

I'm with Matt; I'll tip 20-30% for good service but probably won't leave much at all if inattention led to suffering.

Karen, I'm real surprised that the tips are that good at a Red Lobster. Of course, locations will vary, but I would tend to guess that the tips at chain restaurants (which also attract families with small children) tend to be lower overall than at independent, boutique restaurants.

This surprised me, as well. I'm thinking that she has not been able to get a job in the field she wants, and maybe does not have the money right now to start up. Going out of town, for this young lady might be out of the question. Her folks own and operate a liquor store just off of 1-5 north of here. Daughter lives in the family home and is a very responsible young lady. She has it pretty good.

In the restaurants I worked in (only one of which remotely qualified as fine dining and all of which I worked in many decades ago) the waitstaff took the tips and then threw some of what they got to busboys and others who helped out. It was a good system.

I tend to tip at least 20% for good, solid, professional service. My own experience in the industry has left me with a permanent impression of the ass-busting work that a good waiter or waitress puts in and how low they're paid when tips aren't factored in. I want to incent the people who are good at this to stick with it. Marginal service gets 15%, poor service gets less. At places with counter service, I tend to tip based on whether someone will need to clean up after me or not. If I order a cappucino to go at a coffee house, I generally won't tip. If it's a place with a really goood barista, then I might put a buck in the jar but such places are few and far between around here. On the other hand, if I'm stuck having a sandwich and a coffee in a Starbuck's, then I'll usually tip.

We routinely tip the waitperson 20% unless the service is really bad, and then we tip 15%. Less would hurt the buss persons and maybe others. My problem comes to the wine steward key or no key. I can't see 20% for opening a bottle, particularly when no advise was solicited.

I have a business card that says "The Tip Would Be Bigger If The Service Was Better." I have never used it as a serious message to a waiter but it does express my feelings about tipping. For the past three years or so, I have been a heavy tipper - 20% minimum is standard and sometimes it doubles and then some more to the Sommelier. But I also have no problem under tipping for poor service but I think it is very important to indicate why the service was poor. I also know that I am not the waiter's employer and I did not force them to get a job as a waiter so I am not guilted into leaving a large tip when service was poor. I once described my rationale for leaving the tip in writing on the back of the receipt because I was unable to find the waitress to explain how things could have been done better.

I tend to splurge when my wife and I go out to dinner, so the bill gets substantial enough that 20% constitutes a nice tip (at least, I think it does). A server would have to be absolutely horrid to get no tip - I will typically tip between 15% (for poor, slow, inattentive service) and 20% (for very good service). If the restaurant automatically adds 18% gratuity, I very rarely add to that.

I also do not understand why a restaurant in the USA cannot pay waiters a decent wage.

I very rarely buy coffee in coffeeshops, but I have no understanding why I should tip a barista.

I tend to splurge when my wife and I go out to dinner, so the bill gets substantial enough that 20% constitutes a nice tip (at least, I think it does). A server would have to be absolutely horrid to get no tip - I will typically tip between 15% (for poor, slow, inattentive service) and 20% (for very good service). If the restaurant automatically adds 18% gratuity, I very rarely add to that.

I also do not understand why a restaurant in the USA cannot pay waiters a decent wage.

I very rarely buy coffee in coffeeshops, but I have no understanding why I should tip a barista.

I do not tip a barista. I go to a coffee kiosk that sits on a busy corner lot, they know what I like. When I pull in, they see me and make it. If very busy, or rainy, and they do not see me, the girl will run out to the cars and take orders. When they see me, they just say, "we'll have it ready". Then I put a few quarters in the tip jar that sits outside of the kiosk. After all, today was 103° and cars were lined up for iced whatevers. Sigh...waiting for winter, patiently.

[Robin Garr]

I very rarely buy coffee in coffeeshops, but I have no understanding why I should tip a barista.

I'd say a good barista in a quality shop adds skill to the equation, like a chef albeit on a simpler level. There's some art to pulling a proper espresso shot (or fashioning a good espresso drink), so there is absolutely more service involved than merely pulling down a handle and pouring you a cuppa.

Add in the fundamental premise of the original article - that a big part of tipping is about "kindness" to the low-wage people who serve us in small ways that bring happiness to our lives - and I have no problem letting my fingers do the walking past the coins until they find the folding money in the back of my wallet, yes, even for a barista.

[Jenise]

I always tip at coffee shops, usually a quarter per drink, but often a dollar if I order two and they nail it. That is, I drink a cappucino, which seems to be the hardest darn thing to get right. In Alaska, where I got hooked on coffee drinks, I could order a 'skinny classic' and get exactly what I like. But down here there's no language for cappucinos, it's either wet or dry but that place in the middle so favored in Alaska that it had it's own name is a no man's land down here. Too many times I've had to reject one saying, "If I'd wanted that much milk, I'd have ordered a latte."

In deference to the opinions expressed in response to my comments, I will agree that if I had a regular coffee shop that knew to prepare "my regular" I would most likely tip. Similarly, if I ordered a more complex drink and they nailed it, I could see tipping. However, since I drink either ordinary coffee black with no sugar or iced coffee black with maybe a splenda or 2 (depending on the size) there is no skill in filling my order.

Point conceded to the coffee shop regulars.