Do others 'get' your food passion?

[Jenise]

The following conversation took place recently between me and a person who lives in our neighborhood. We were introduced once before in the past at a large party, but this was our first actual conversation. IOW, I don't know her at all, though she seemed to know a bit about me.


She: So did you go to the 4th of July parade?
Me: Yes, it was very sweet, really had fun. Did you go?

She: No, but I understand they have great food there.
Me: Mmmm, not really. All I saw was 'fair' food--fried junk, kiddie stuff.

She, undiscouraged: And did you try lots of things?
Me: No, nothing. What wasn't deep-fried was all sugar. Just not the kind of food I eat.

She then pounced, voice heavy with accusation: Well, *I* would have thought a FAYmous foodie like YOU would have wanted to try EVERYthing!

And then she turned to her husband and smugly harrumphed.


Someone else spoke up at that point saving me from having to be rude--and I like to think I wouldn't have been too rude out of deference to my hosts but it would have been darned hard not to be--but do let the record show that I didn't waste another word on her. I will, however, admit to spending a bit of time, including right now, mulling that conversation over (and entertaining myself with thoughts of what my final salvo would have been).

I guess the biggest surprise, beyond her baiting which I didn't even realize was happening until it was too late, was the realization of how differently some people define 'foodie'. This woman has no idea what a truffle is, buys a ton of packaged food and thinks Red Lobster puts on the Ritz. And she's totally happy that way.

Which, believe me, is fine. I wouldn't take her happiness away from her--there are a lot of people with average tastes and and not only do I not try to convert them I don't even believe that with most it's possible--but she has somehow grokked that there are people who think differently, and what's bothersome is the extent to which she's apparently highly resentful about that. There she is thinking that she tested me and that I failed that test because she thinks a foodie is someone who indiscriminantly eats everything.

The possibility of that definition never crossed my mind before. I guess it's a standard I'm happy to fail at, but jeesh. I've long accepted the fact that not all understand this passion that everyone on this board has, but to be so misunderstood is rather a surprise! Do you guys run into it, too?

(Btw, the "famous foodie" thing is just because I cook for so many events in our neighborhood--she doesn't come to any of them but she must talk to people who do.)

Oh my Jenise, it is clearly obvious she is a tad jealous of your reputation as a cook, and she certainly has the wrong idea of what a real foodie is. What I have done in situations like that is nothing. Someone told me once, "you don't have to like the person or even be friends with them, however you should show respect and kindness towards them".

I can tell you this, there are certain folks who get annoyed when another person speaks about eating healthy, no sugar, no fried foods, etc. For some reason they think you are being elitist, and think you are too good for the populace that does eat that way. It has happened to me, and I really was hurt by it. Not sure what the answer is, but I do tend to keep my opinions to myself unless I am around other foodies who love to share foodie conversation. It is just the way it is.
Don't spend too much time on it...she was just plain rude, and now you know her true character. Maybe some day you will get the opportunity to educate her about being a foodie and what it is really all about. Then, here is a thought about it I found under a definition of a foodie (I have been guilty of this):

There is nothing more irritating then going to a dinner party or meeting at a restaurant with a group of people and there is always at least one “Foodie” attending who proceeds to tell you all about how he/she made the most fabulous chicken dish. etc etc. until you just want to strangle them ZZZ……………

Grimod who used to post on Rogov's board had a rather funny term he used for the food masses that didn't live up to his thoughts on how someone should appreciate food. That term was... bottom feeders. I always thought that was rather funny but accurate I guess.

However, I too was a bottom feeder most of my life. I think you have to understand that those who think differently are for the most part the product of a society that has broken down. The passing down of learning has pretty much disappeared with the dissolution of the family. I know that not one soul ever talked to or worked with me on food matters all though my early years. My first real attempt in cooking a dinner I got from a Sunset cookbook.

Ok, so maybe now I have a much better feel for food but it was all a painful and many hours of self learning on just the basics. I know with what time I have left before I exit this planet I will never get to a much higher level but I don't worry about it. As long as I can make food matters an enjoyable experience for my wife and myself and have fun while doing it then that is sufficient.

So tread easy with those that have not had the experience or prompting that you have experienced... so goes the life experience.

Tim

[Jenise]

Oh my Jenise, it is clearly obvious she is a tad jealous of your reputation as a cook, and she certainly has the wrong idea of what a real foodie is. What I have done in situations like that is nothing. Someone told me once, "you don't have to like the person or even be friends with them, however you should show respect and kindness towards them".

You know what, I seriously doubt that jealousy played a part--we're total strangers. The conversation above wasn't a snippet of talk from the evening, it was her opening words to me after "hello". I did nothing but answer the questions she persisted with--for the reasons you mentioned in your last paragraph that's a place I don't go unless I'm among kindred souls. The elitist part you could be right about, that she needs it to be that way to justify the poorer choices she makes. Maybe her doctor has advised her to make changes and she has poohpooohed that as unrealistic. I really don't know!

I think this woman definitely knows your reputation as a serious and imaginative cook and therefore decided ahead of time that you must be the kind of person who looks down on those who don't "measure up to your standards", or some such. She therefore did the pre-emptive strike in an attempt to make herself feel better about the situation. What she doesn't understand is that most people who really love food understand that everyone's taste differs and that you really can't judge anyone based on their food preferences. (Says the guy who's openly professed his enjoyment of Kraft macaroni and cheese.)

If she should somehow ever get to know you, she'll feel like a real shit for that exchange.

[Jenise]

So tread easy with those that have not had the experience or prompting that you have experienced... so goes the life experience.

As I said in my post, I have no interest in converting anyone nor do I try to. This woman just came out of nowhere, kind of gunning for me.

But as for prompting, I don't think it's prompting that neccessarily creates a foodie. (I know some people hate that term but honestly I don't know a better one, so I use it.) I guess there are a lot of different ways to get there but my observation is that when exposed to great food some get it and some don't. Some are changed, their standards raised permanently by the experience, and to some it's just strange food and they immediately return to what's boring and familiar.

We have a phrase 'tin ear' in our society to refer to someone who has an inability to distinguish differences in pitch or an indifference to the subtleties of language. Maybe we need a phrase like 'clay tongue' for someone with is similarly unaffected by beautiful food.

[Jenise]

What she doesn't understand is that most people who really love food understand that everyone's taste differs and that you really can't judge anyone based on their food preferences. (Says the guy who's openly professed his enjoyment of Kraft macaroni and cheese.)

If she should somehow ever get to know you, she'll feel like a real shit for that exchange.

Well, the latter's probably not going to happen. But I think you characterized the situation well. And hey, re mac n' cheese: I never eat it but I've confessed liking it too. Well, yesterday I was at Costco where Bob played in the electronics while I gathered up the stuff I needed elsewhere. We were to meet on the other side of the 'U' shape that is our Costco, we enter on one side and exit at the other, and we only shop the food stuffs around the rim. So where I waited for him happened to be where one of the demo ladies was just starting a new batch of Kirkland mac n' cheese. I asked if I could hang out with her while waiting for my husband, did she like this job, what products did she hate to demo, and all that. We had a really fun conversation. Bob showed up about the time it was ready to serve, and she gave us both big helpings. Don't know if you've tried their brand but it was awfully good. Mind you it's probably been a decade since I had the Kraft version, but my palate memory is pretty good and I'd say Kraft is more Cheetos where Kirkland is more CheezIt--it has a good parmesanish tang to it which to my tastes is a good improvement over the original.

Oooooh - sounds good. I'll try to talk my wife into a Costco trip soon!

I have run into this attitude before. Its not contained to food at all. It seems to exist anywhere there is a difference in knowledge and understanding between two individuals on a subject that on the surface does not appear to be complex. Food falls easily into that category as we all eat so we all much know about food right? Its not like we are talking about inner workings of a wrist watch (oldschool) and how all those gears enable it to keep time. Its o.k. to not understand that, its complex. But food, that's simple. So the fact that one does not know and can't tell the difference between fine food and McDonalds makes them feel inferior and they lash back. But since you never knowingly did anything, it appears to you that they just lashed out.

You should have told her her belief that a 'foodie' is someone that will stuff anything they come across in his mouth is mistaken and that she had confused glutton with gourmet! Except you'd probably have just confused the old dear.

Can't say as I've ever run into anyone with such unmasked ignorance. At worst, people politely nod or act curious. Being rude in a social setting has serious consequences in our ethnically, politically and religiously uniform culture in the upper midwest.

[Jenise]

Can't say as I've ever run into anyone with such unmasked ignorance. At worst, people politely nod or act curious. Being rude in a social setting has serious consequences in our ethnically, politically and religiously uniform culture in the upper midwest.

Agreed, and being rude in response would have only made me guilty of the same thing--I'm glad the conversation couldn't go any further. If it had, though, I would've been less inclined to engage her because, as we've already mostly agreed, that kind of ignorance is unchangeable than to simply flat out confront her with something like, "Wow are you being hostile. What's your problem?"