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Bad Thanksgiving Planners

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Jenise

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Bad Thanksgiving Planners

by Jenise » Mon Aug 02, 2010 7:17 am

Think I'd move out of state if I were related to this bitch:


The Thanksgiving Letter
From: Marney

As you all know a fabulous Thanksgiving Dinner does not make itself. I need to ask each of you to help by bringing something to complete the meal. I truly appreciate your offers to assist with the meal preparation.

Now, while I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time, I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS when I am providing you with your Thanksgiving instructions and orders. I am very particular, so please perform your task EXACTLY as I have requested and read your portion very carefully. If I ask you to bring your offering in a container that has a lid, bring your offering in a container WITH A LID, NOT ALUMINUM FOIL! If I ask you to bring a serving spoon for your dish, BRING A SERVING SPOON, NOT A SOUP SPOON! And please do not forget anything.

All food that is to be cooked should already be prepared, bring it hot and ready to serve, warm or room temp. These are your ONLY THREE options. Anything meant to be served cold should, of course, already be cold.

HJB—Dinner wine

The Mike Byron Family
1. Turnips in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. Please do not fill the casserole all the way up to the top, it gets too messy. I know this may come as a bit of a surprise to you, but most of us hate turnips so don’t feel like you a have to feed an army.
2. Two half gallons of ice cream, one must be VANILLA, I don’t care what the other one is. No store brands please. I did see an ad this morning for Hagan Daz Peppermint Bark Ice Cream, yum!! (no pressure here, though).
3. Toppings for the ice cream.
4. A case of bottled water, NOT gallons, any brand is ok.

The Bob Byron Family
1. Green beans or asparagus (not both) in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. If you are making the green beans, please prepare FOUR pounds, if you are making asparagus please prepare FIVE pounds. It is up to you how you wish to prepare them, no soupy sauces, no cheese (you know how Mike is), a light sprinkling of toasted nuts, or pancetta, or some EVOO would be a nice way to jazz them up.
2. A case of beer of your choice (I have Coors Light and Corona) or a bottle of clos du bois chardonnay (you will have to let me know which you will bring prior to 11/22).

The Lisa Byron Chesterford Family
1. Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level. You can bring an hors d’ouvres. A few helpful hints/suggestions. Keep it very light, and non-filling, NO COCKTAIL SAUCE, no beans of any kind. I think your best bet would be a platter of fresh veggies and dip. Not a huge platter mind you (i.e., not the plastic platter from the supermarket).

The Michelle Bobble Family
1. Stuffing in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please make the stuffing sans meat.
2. 2.5-3 qts. of mashed squash in a casserole with a lid and serving spoon
3. Proscuitto pin wheel – please stick to the recipe, no need to bring a plate.
4. A pie knife

The June Davis Family
1. 15 LBS of mashed potatoes in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please do not use the over-size blue serving dish you used last year. Because you are making such a large batch you can do one of two things: put half the mash in a regulation size casserole with lid and put the other half in a plastic container and we can just replenish with that or use two regulation size casserole dishes with lids. Only one serving spoon is needed.
2. A bottle of clos du bois chardonnay

The Amy Misto Family (why do I even bother she will never read this)
1. A pumpkin pie in a pie dish (please use my silver palate recipe) no knife needed.
2. An apple pie in a pie dish, you can use your own recipe, no knife needed.

Looking forward to the 28th!!

Marney
My wine shopping and I have never had a problem. Just a perpetual race between the bankruptcy court and Hell.--Rogov
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Carrie L.

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Re: Bad Thanksgiving Planners

by Carrie L. » Mon Aug 02, 2010 8:03 am

Jenise, I am cracking up over this. Truth be told, I can see where she is coming from. I can remember a New Years' "group dinner" not too long ago that turned into a true "cluster," even when I was verbally pretty specific with what we needed. The person I'd asked to bring Pinot Grigio brought Pinot Noir (it was an Italian dinner, and even though we don't drink Pinot G, I still thought we should have one.) The person who was supposed to bring mixed Italian veggies (at her own suggestion) for whatever reason brought garlic bread. Someone else already was bringing garlic bread. Another person took tremendous liberties with one of my salad recipes (that she said she wanted to make), using bagged iceberg vs. field greens and a goopie, sweet dressing vs. Champagne vinaigrette. I know there were a few other issues, but I think you get the idea.

That said, the email is pretty outrageous! One almost wonders if she meant to type it out and delete it just for the opportunity to vent her true feelings. I would't be surprised if everyone wrote back and said, "Marney, we won't be joining you this year."
Hello. My name is Carrie, and I...I....still like oaked Chardonnay. (Please don't judge.)
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Rahsaan

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Re: Bad Thanksgiving Planners

by Rahsaan » Mon Aug 02, 2010 10:47 am

Funny that someone so detailed and anal couldn't properly spell Häagen-Dazs.
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Robin Garr

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Re: Bad Thanksgiving Planners

by Robin Garr » Mon Aug 02, 2010 2:08 pm

Rahsaan wrote:Funny that someone so detailed and anal couldn't properly spell Häagen-Dazs.

Or prosciutto.
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GeoCWeyer

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Re: Bad Thanksgiving Planners

by GeoCWeyer » Mon Aug 02, 2010 3:23 pm

Robin Garr wrote:
Rahsaan wrote:Funny that someone so detailed and anal couldn't properly spell Häagen-Dazs.

Or prosciutto.


As someone who has become a poor speller and has always been a worse typist I see no relationship to that and the detailed instructions. "Poor Spellers of the World Unite!"

I have always done quite a bit of entertaining. I am now reaching an age and energy level that I really have to cut down the size of our parties and dinners. A number of the frequent guests have told me that I don't need to do it all. I have had success with having someone bring the dessert. I never give specifics. Since these guests are all wine savey I just tell them to bring something that would go with a particular type of dessert wine. This seems to work well. Other than that I haven't realy had any success.

Since most of our guests aren't as accomplished as I am in the kitchen I am reticent to ask them to bring something specific unless it is something I have had at their home previously and I know that they can recreate the dish without difficulty. I definitely don't want to host a "pot luck". After having tried once to just give general ideas I gave up. I had three phone conversations from a guest who when asked to bring canapes kept pestering me for specifics!

My wife has limited me to hosting no more than 2 couples without kitchen assistance. She also has limited me in most cases to 4 courses unless we have kitchen assistance. I just don't move as fast as I used to so that I can do it all and still spend time at the table and be a congenial host. Getting old is hell!
I love the life I live and live the life I love*, and as Mark Twain said, " Always do well it will gratify the few and astonish the rest".

*old blues refrain
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Redwinger

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Re: Bad Thanksgiving Planners

by Redwinger » Mon Aug 02, 2010 3:28 pm

GeoCWeyer wrote:Getting old is hell!


Yes indeed it is hell. But I have it on good authority that it beats the alternative of not getting old.
Smile, it gives your face something to do!
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Dale Williams

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Re: Bad Thanksgiving Planners

by Dale Williams » Mon Aug 02, 2010 3:49 pm

This was widely circulated last year. One of the reasons I had my doubts is Thanksgiving as the 26th, and in fact hasn't been 28th since I think 2002

Like Carrie, I've been to "planned pot lucks" where someone brought something totally different than what they had volunteered for, duplicating another's offering and leaving us short a dish.
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Daniel Rogov

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Re: Bad Thanksgiving Planners

by Daniel Rogov » Mon Aug 02, 2010 4:28 pm

All I can say is that if ever I received a letter like that I would tell the writer to go straight to hell, ideally accompanied by her turkey.
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Robin Garr

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Re: Bad Thanksgiving Planners

by Robin Garr » Mon Aug 02, 2010 4:39 pm

Daniel Rogov wrote:All I can say is that if ever I received a letter like that I would tell the writer to go straight to hell, ideally accompanied by her turkey.

Would you also advise her where to place the turkey? Just curious.
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Re: Bad Thanksgiving Planners

by Daniel Rogov » Mon Aug 02, 2010 5:07 pm

Robin Garr wrote:Would you also advise her where to place the turkey? Just curious.


No. But I might tell here precisely how to stuff it. 8)
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Paul Winalski

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Re: Bad Thanksgiving Planners

by Paul Winalski » Mon Aug 02, 2010 10:07 pm

Geez, sounds like a cross between Hyacinth Bucket from "Keeping Up Appearances" and Adolf Hitler.

I'd pay good money to avoid eating Thanksgiving dinner at that household.

-Paul W.
Last edited by Paul Winalski on Tue Aug 03, 2010 10:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Alan Wolfe

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Re: Bad Thanksgiving Planners

by Alan Wolfe » Mon Aug 02, 2010 10:16 pm

... a cross between Hyacinth Bucket ... and Adolph Hitler.

:D :D :D
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Bernard Roth

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Re: Bad Thanksgiving Planners

by Bernard Roth » Tue Aug 03, 2010 1:40 am

This is like those mini-mysteries... Someone so meticulous about the food prep and quality is serving Coors? That is the give away that this is fake.
Regards,
Bernard Roth
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Re: Bad Thanksgiving Planners

by ChefJCarey » Tue Aug 03, 2010 9:45 am

Were I Lisa Byron I would have showed up with a three-bean casserole with cocktail sauce.
Rex solutus est a legibus - NOT
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Robin Garr

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Re: Bad Thanksgiving Planners

by Robin Garr » Tue Aug 03, 2010 10:06 am

Bernard Roth wrote:This is like those mini-mysteries... Someone so meticulous about the food prep and quality is serving Coors? That is the give away that this is fake.

Coors and Clos de Bois Chardonnay? :P

I wouldn't be so quick to assume that this combination of tastes proves the story is fake, Bernie (although I assume that it is, not so much based on specific clues as its overall style). For every beverages snob like us, there are 999 everyday people who think Coors (and Clos du Bois) is just fine.
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Re: Bad Thanksgiving Planners

by Robin Garr » Tue Aug 03, 2010 10:10 am

I had a few minutes to spend on exploration this morning, and by Googling "Thanksgiving Letter from Marney" got back to this blog post that CLAIMS to be the original source. Truth? Fiction? Who can tell?

http://www.californiakara.com/2008/11/h ... style.html
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Re: Bad Thanksgiving Planners

by Karen/NoCA » Tue Aug 03, 2010 11:18 am

I've done many eating type events when I worked for the City of Redding Police Dept. The difficulty in asking people to bring such specific foods is most did not have a serving spoon or a casserole dish or anything big enough for more than 4 servings. As for private parties, it is easier to do it yourself and at this point in my life one to two couples is all I want. However, if I received a letter like that, I'd be sure I had other plans for that day. So rude. It would be best to call and talk with the person to find out what they would be comfortable with bringing. In that case, I would be happy to do it.
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Melissa Priestley

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Re: Bad Thanksgiving Planners

by Melissa Priestley » Tue Aug 03, 2010 2:30 pm

I definitely agree that the letter writer sounds like a micro-managing, nitpicky, obsessive compulsive - but I wonder how much of that is justified. After all, we don't know how bad her family is. As some have suggested, maybe they are all so clueless that they would otherwise show up with nothing, or with a bag of lettuce and a bottle of ranch dressing and call that a fair contribution. Still, the way she went about it was all wrong. If the family really was that bad, I'd say she just shouldn't bother hosting a dinner. But if she's that bad, then the family shouldn't go to her dinner. From the tone of her letter and the little personal tidbits in there, I'd say she's probably a freak.

Either way, I'm glad that my own family (and I'm guessing the families of most other people) are trustworthy enough that you can just ask them to bring a side dish or a dessert and they'll come up with something yummy.
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Re: Bad Thanksgiving Planners

by Dale Williams » Tue Aug 03, 2010 2:54 pm

Robin Garr wrote:I had a few minutes to spend on exploration this morning, and by Googling "Thanksgiving Letter from Marney" got back to this blog post that CLAIMS to be the original source. Truth? Fiction? Who can tell?

http://www.californiakara.com/2008/11/h ... style.html


Ah yes, it must be real, since it came from a friend' coworker's sister. That's never been an issue, ask the folks at Snopes. :)

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