Picky Eating

[Jenise]

Anyone catch this article earlier this month in the WSJ about picky eaters? Some of these people make my little creamy-white phobia look downright normal.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704699604575343130457388718.html?mod=WSJ_LifeStyle_Food

I used to be a picky eater--although never as bad as any of the people cited in that article--as a child, but I found that my food horizons expanded as an adult. But I still don't like any fish or seafood (texture, smell, and flavor all put me off), with very rare exceptions.

As a child, I used to prefer raw veggies (such as carrots, lettuce, celery, tomatoes) to cooked ones. I've since found that broccoli, cabbage, and brussels sprouts, which I used to detest, can actually be good if you don't cook them until they're grey and mushy.

-Paul W.

Perhaps, and I say, just perhaps, these folks are a vestigial offshoot of the species who were not meant to survive as members of our omnivorous species and are only able to survive in the relatively affluent Western world because of our bountiful and varied food supply. Personally, I don't want them at my table.

That is some tough stuff.

A couple of crazy quotes:

For reasons that aren't clear, almost all adult picky eaters like French fries and often chicken fingers

I think this should be pretty clear. It's the same reason kids often gravitate towards these foods. They are bland, fried, and salty. As the article said in the previous sentence.

I know it's not a matter of wanting to, it's that you can't," she says.

This one really perplexes me and makes me wonder about the usage of the word 'can't'. I don't want to downplay anyone's psychosomatic fears because the brain can be pretty powerful. But unless these folks are really far gone then they can eat a piece of spaghetti without passing away. They may go into some form of shock and try to reject the food, but can't they wean themselves onto 'real food' slowly over time. (I'm sure if it were that simple it would already be done).

I remember watching a tv special about psychologists who help people get over other fears (i.e. flying) by facing those fears and giving them coping mechanisms to deal with the anxiety as they approach an airport, sit on the airplane, etc. Seems like the same approach should work for people who are afraid of spaghetti. But I guess it would be expensive and the insurance companies probably don't want to cover it!

[David M. Bueker]

Well that certainly puts Laura picky eating habits in perspective. She's an omnivore compared to the people referenced in the article.

Laura's tastes have broadened over the years, but she is still highly sensitive to anything even remotely bitter, and anything that is slightly oily completely turns her stomach, as do things with a "slimy" texture. Then there's the not-unusual issue with cliantro, and a hatred of fish and shrimp (but a love of lobster and crab).

The picky eaters that I know have complained about the foods they were offered at home. Complaints about grey, mushy vegetables, overcooked and tough meats, smelly food, pots that sat on the stove for days, with everyone eating at different times, pulling whatever was in the pot, which generally was not taken away until it was empty. Very sad. I've introduced several people to the wonder of crisp cooked vegetables, properly cooked fish, grains, green salads, etc. I know a young teen, who comes from a high income family, and has never had a green salad. I've had people tell me they don't and won't eat onions, yet they are sitting at my table eating a dish which contains onions. I'm so thankful I come from a family who gardened, raised animals for our food, and cooked a variety of foods.

I'm so glad that I came from a home where Dad's motto was "This ain't no stinking restaurant".
No special meals for anyone...period. Didn't like what was prepared...fine, don't eat it.
And, don't come looking for a bedtime snack because you're hungry.
'Winger

I'm so glad that I came from a home where Dad's motto was "This ain't no stinking restaurant".
No special meals for anyone...period. Didn't like what was prepared...fine, don't eat it.
And, don't come looking for a bedtime snack because you're hungry.
'Winger

It was so natural at our home....I cooked good food and fed our children - and guess what? They ate! There are always a few issues, our daughter was allergic to nuts, avocados made her throat itch, our oldest son ate too much french bread and could not eat the rest of his dinner, but you work around those issues. No one ever complained, or did not eat what I served. No one ever thought about it. I notice that all three of our kids gave their kids choices, what do you want to eat tonight, do you want to eat at home or go Chinese? This just did not happen, the kids were busy and active, we had places to go. We all sat down for dinner and away we went. I fed them breakfast before school, packed their lunch and off they went. Their guests ate what we ate, if they complained, too bad, and I often said, "this is not a restaurant!"

I grew up in a home that was much like Winger's. The problem was that it made me a picky eater. The meals were completely predictable. We had the same thing week after week. Every decade or so they would try something new. So when I went out into the world, I was confronted with a lot of stuff that was new and therefore suspect. Over the fifty years since leaving home, I have mellowed considerably, tho there still are a few things like pickles that I still eschew.

[Jenise]

I'm so glad that I came from a home where Dad's motto was "This ain't no stinking restaurant".
No special meals for anyone...period. Didn't like what was prepared...fine, don't eat it.
And, don't come looking for a bedtime snack because you're hungry.
'Winger

It was so natural at our home....I cooked good food and fed our children - and guess what? They ate!

I think it's a mistake to presume that parental tolerance has, for the most part, anything to do with why these people are such subversively picky eaters. I joined the website mentioned in this article this morning just to listen in on their conversations and was impressed and saddened by the agony most of them feel about their situation, though not all suffer embarrassment. Particularly pertinent to your thoughts, Karen, is one woman's sig line there, a rather defiant "No, if your parents raised me I would still eat like this."

I read a rather funny thread called "Is Thanksgiving your worst holiday?" that received a cacophony of agreement. One man said he calls that holiday "Black Thursday". One guy listed all the things he is willing to eat--and it was in the single digits and included diet soda! Oh, and he asterisked sliced bread to assert that yes, it MUST be pre-sliced. Most were a little more flexible than that but not a whole lot more. Many described parents who tried the 'Winger approach, but gave in after the kid went many days without any food at all.

Surprisingly, there were a lot of things I remember about my own childhood food issues in there. I liked my food separate, not touching. Did not like gravy or other meat sauces. Did not like cheese. Did not like milk or anything that looked like it was or could have been made from it. Some or most of these are pretty common in kids and many of you probably had similar issues too--the difference between us and most of them appears to be as simple as we grew out of it, they didn't. Why they didn't is the not-so-simple part. And none seemed to know.

Gail is picky about a few things: no soggy bread (rules out biscuits & gravy, among others), she doesn't care for bitter tastes at all, and while things can touch on her plate, she'll often eat all of one thing before touching another. I am also picky, but in different ways: nothing that is best used as bait (except I love crawfish etouffe), no raw or almost raw meat (includes fish, so sushi/sashimi is out as qualifying for the bait rule), but I also figure anything I eat ends up in a jumble in my stomach anyway, so why not have multiple food items on one fork-full?

[David M. Bueker]

I've almost always been an omnivore, though there were periods in my childhood where I could not stand anything that was previously frozen (I'm over that now that I don't like wasting food that I buy), green beans (most were canned early on - I like fresh), and butter! Now, other than green bell peppers (yuck) I will eat just about anything.

There wasn't any issue around parenting or other facets of upbringing, and those who think "that's all there is to eat" rules are the solution to the problem are just putting themselves on some mystical moral plane above those who have eating issues. The brain works in mysterious ways, and what works for one person will likely not work for another.

There wasn't any issue around parenting or other facets of upbringing, and those who think "that's all there is to eat" rules are the solution to the problem are just putting themselves on some mystical moral plane above those who have eating issues. The brain works in mysterious ways, and what works for one person will likely not work for another.

I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss the parenting role. Apparently there is some suggestion that parents who obsess (positively or negatively) about their kid's eating habits are more likely to have children who become picky eaters as adults. It is an area that obviously needs more study.
The comment about higher moral plane was uncalled for. No, make that offensive. Period. I did mention parenting and my Dad's mealtime rules. So what?? It worked in our household and if you take the time to read my post, I never presumed or suggested that it would work for others.

[Jenise]

I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss the parenting role. Apparently there is some suggestion that parents who obsess (positively or negatively) about their kid's eating habits are more likely to have children who become picky eaters as adults. It is an area that obviously needs more study.

Most of people I read on that forum see it the other way round. The parent only became obsessed, if that's the right word for putting extra energy into something you're concerned about, because of the child's picky problem. And usually there were siblings who were either not picky or who were less extreme and then grew out of it. Each remembers being picky from Day One, something intrinsic, not reactive.

True story: when I was three I had an operation and was in the hospital for a week. The day I was to go home a nurse brought me a breakfast of hot oatmeal. It smelled horrible, and when I dipped a spoon in the texture made me gag. I knew it was something I couldn't eat. Not wouldn't, couldn't. I told the nurse that, and she said if I didn't eat it I couldn't go home. When my parents came for me a few hours later I was still in bed, bawling, that bowl of oatmeal, now cold, still in front of me and of course they asked what was wrong. "I can't go home!", I cried. Eating the oatmeal was NOT an option.

Stories like that abound on that picky eater forum. And the word "can't" is constant. Not won't, CAN'T. Usually, texture is the problem. Color often is too. Most won't eat vegetables or fruit or anything mixed. Most have weight problems and are worried about health issues like cholesterol, diabetes and diverticulitis. They seem to not care for meats at all, though some like fried chicken. Most understand and believe their issue is a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder and most have other OCD issues outside of the food arena. Some have tried therapy and basically all have been unsuccessful. Most feel like prisoners because all social activity involving food is avoided (one girl dropped out of school because of it) and feel great envy for normal eaters, but they can't change. They FEAR the foods they can't eat and the trauma of others trying to trick them into eating a food they know they can't. Even when the food is something they've not tasted before--because it's not about taste.

Which I understand. My cold/creamy/white food issue comes from that very same place. Don't want it, wouldn't choose it and I've worked hard to overcome most of it because it's embarrassing, but I'm resigned to the fact that some remains and always will. Put a blob of goopy (stiff would be a million times better) white salad in front of me and just watch me struggle to overcome outright fear and control the gag reflex while I take that first bite which I'm only going to do because I've learned I can suffer through a couple polite bites and I'd rather do that than bring attention to the reason I'd almost rather die than eat it.

Went to a friend's home for dinner last week and during the appetizer course she showed off the raspberry mousse-like thing that was going to be our dessert. In clear wine glasses (which made it painfully clear just how awful this was going to be), the opaque electric Pepto Bismol pink of the raspberry part was interruped by largish blobs of unincorporated white stuff--whipped cream or possibly marshmallow cream from a jar, and one's just as bad as the other.

Now this revelation requires that I admit there's one other color in the food universe that terrifies besides white, and that's opaque electric Pepto Bismol pink. Fortunately it's so rarely occurring that it's basically not an issue, but I do recall a borscht and a creamed beet side dish that derailed two separate evenings for me in this life. Anyway, so there was this dessert, and I spent the whole rest of the evening obsessing about how I could get around having to eat it while knowing full well it was unavoidable. I finally resolved to get a glass of water (none had been served with the meal and I really wanted some anyway). So I asked my hostess if I could help myself to some and she said oh let me get that for you. And then she forgot. So there I was trying to fit in an "oh, about that water" and somehow mismanaged it such that I never got it and instead had that glass of scary pink and white stuff in front of me. Which, before I could break into a proper sweat over, she served with a glass of homemade limoncello. Which I despise because it's vodka based and vodka played a big role in my mom's suicide so we're not talking about just a little bit of hate here, and how did I respond? I've never been so happy to see limoncello in my life! So I hatched this plan: dawdle so that everyone else finished first in order to make my only eating half less conspicuous, wash it down with limoncello, then excuse myself to the bathroom where I could wash my mouth clean of both! I WAS GOING TO LIVE!

And so it worked out. I even had seconds of the limoncello.

Not sure if this make me a member of the Picky Eater club or not. After all, I love 99% of the foods in this world. But the way I am about the 1% of food I don't eat is just like them, and it's humbling to look into the world of others so much much more severely afflicted.

Perhaps, and I say, just perhaps, these folks are a vestigial offshoot of the species who were not meant to survive as members of our omnivorous species and are only able to survive in the relatively affluent Western world because of our bountiful and varied food supply. Personally, I don't want them at my table.

I agree.

Stories like that abound on that picky eater forum. And the word "can't" is constant. Not won't, CAN'T. Usually, texture is the problem. Color often is too. Most won't eat vegetables or fruit or anything mixed. Most have weight problems and are worried about health issues like cholesterol, diabetes and diverticulitis. They seem to not care for meats at all, though some like fried chicken. Most understand and believe their issue is a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder and most have other OCD issues outside of the food arena. Some have tried therapy and basically all have been unsuccessful. Most feel like prisoners because all social activity involving food is avoided (one girl dropped out of school because of it) and feel great envy for normal eaters, but they can't change. They FEAR the foods they can't eat and the trauma of others trying to trick them into eating a food they know they can't. Even when the food is something they've not tasted before--because it's not about taste.

This is the gist of it, Jenise. People with such strong food aversions can't eat the food because it engages the gag reflex, which gets to Rahsaan's point about why traditional aversion therapy isn't used. There is an entire nervous system associated with our gut and digestion, so psychosomatic effects can be huge.

Although Andrew is still a somewhat picky eater, reading that article put his willingness and ability to try new foods into perspective. And when I'm foolish enough to complain to my mother of Andrew's picky eating habits, she regales me with the tales of how picky I was at that age (funny how I now have no memory of being so picky! ), a stage that I fortunately outgrew by age 9 or 10. I can only hope... Right now, we just try to get him to try new foods (such as the myriad of things on our plates) and hope that a few of them take.

Mark Lipton

I once threw up on a nun's habit when she stood there, arms akimbo, and forced me to eat stewed tomatoes. I was eight. I can eat them now.

[Jenise]

a stage that I fortunately outgrew by age 9 or 10. I can only hope... Right now, we just try to get him to try new foods (such as the myriad of things on our plates) and hope that a few of them take.

Mark Lipton

Oh sure they'll take. His taste buds will develop along with the rest of his body, and you could actually create aversions by forcing him to eat things he's not ready for. My parents used to have great rows about this at the dinner table because all four of us kids had normal-range kiddie likes and dislikes (I believe I was the only one with bona fide aversions)--Mom understood we'd change, and Dad thought we were being picky just to piss him off. Food was so limited and scarce in his childhood that he didn't have the opportunity to be picky, and so he didn't understand that he probably wouldn't have liked raw oysters or blue cheese if he'd been given the opportunity to eat them.

I once threw up on a nun's habit when she stood there, arms akimbo, and forced me to eat stewed tomatoes. I was eight. I can eat them now.

Great chapter title for the next book there, Chef: "I Threw Up On A Nun".

I'm all for being tolerant, but I just can't get up any sympathy for a person who can't be in a social situation that might include eating. This level of food phobia, IMO, requires therapy.
And by the way, I'm pretty sure there are no picky eaters in Darfur...

And by the way, I'm pretty sure there are no picky eaters in Darfur...

Exactly my point. As a society we are incredibly spoiled. In fact I'm keeping my eyes peeled for Odoacer.