Kids bringing fast food into restaurants: What do you think?

[Robin Garr]

A pal in Memphis sent me this link from the Commercial-Appeal's dining blog. She's horrified, and I pretty much am, too. What do you think? Is it reasonable to allow picky kids to bring fast food into a nicer restaurant where their parents are expecting a "real" dinner? Or should the kids learn to be adventurous whether they like it or not ... or be left home with a sitter?

http://blogs.commercialappeal.com/whini ... right.html

Is this right?
By Jennifer Biggs on May 10, 2010 9:35 AM

... I only went to a restaurant once last week. After an exhausting Friday, we decided to run up to Guadalupana for a quick bite. When we were leaving, we passed a dad going in with two kids--and two bags of fast food.

Groan. I mean, come on. This is a Mexican restaurant we're talking about, not some place that only serves raw oysters or tofu. Ever heard of a quesadilla?

I don't want to be judgmental. Dad alone, Friday night--it could be he sees his kids once a week and doesn't want to fight over food. They could be lactose intolerant (though there are non-cheese items on the menu), or it could just be unfortunate for the kids that they're not getting exposed to new foods.

Thoughts, anyone? I'm especially interested in hearing from parents of young kids.

This post generated a memorable discussion on the Louisville Restaurants Forum ... I'll bet FLDG can add a lot more good thoughts.

Not only was such a thing not allowed when raising my boys, it was not even heard of. My wife, Janet, insisted on good manners - napkins on laps, no hats, etc. I think the only time we ever took food to a place that sold food was taking our own soda pop and popcorn to the drive-in theater.

In all my years in restaurants I never saw anyone do that.

Our kids never went to a fast food restaurant, until they were driving and out in the world that mom knew, not much, about! We did have a local hamburger joint, and our kids knew their kids and we got our hamburgers and milkshakes at their place, when we went out for that type of food.
In today's world, when we take our grandkids out to eat (they don't go to fast food places either) I would never take any sort of food for them from home or anywhere else. Children need to learn how to handle eating out, even with allergies or dislikes. Our grandkids can order for themselves (7 and 9) these are the two we have up here the most. They order according to their likes....pasta with butter and Parmesan only, pasta with red sauce, etc. They usually order just water as they don't drink sodas. Personally, I feel it is very rude for parents to bring fast food into a nice restaurant, and were it my place, I would not allow it. Rather, I would have a menu to accommodate the children, as most good restaurants do, around here at least. Many children today, are over accommodated, IMHO. Another thing I've noticed is that they cannot wait for the food to be prepared, they want it NOW, and that may be another reason why parents bring in fast food.

Wow. Frankly, I am surprised that they were even seated in the restaurant. As the parent of a still-picky 5 year old, I can (barely) understand the logic of what was going on there. When Jean and I go out to dinner with Andrew, we take into account his eating preferences and choose the restaurant accordingly. Fortunately, though he is by any measure a picky eater, we can go to many of our favorite restaurants with him without incident. I also strongly believe that it's important to be persistent in challenging his eating preferences by continuing to offer him new or untried foods while at the same time not making a confrontation out of it. Slowly, slowly, we're seeing him expand his palate preferences. Also, I am adamant about not falling back on the fast food "out" as a way of getting him to eat, though we will at times get him a burger at Wendy's when we're on the road.

Mark Lipton

Let me start with the premise that at any age the proper behavior of children brought to a restaurant should be under the full control of their parents. If a child cannot behave well enough not to annoy other diners or be a nuisance to the wait-staff, he/she should not be brought to the restaurant in question. Nor should a child who is incapable of enjoying the possibilities at a given restaurant be brought to that restaurant.

As to bringing food especially for the children to restaurants - I see that as acceptable on only one occasion - when the child is young enough (but well behaved enough) that he/she is capable primarily of eating only jarred baby food or breast milk. Beyond that, with apologies to all, I see no possible logic to or excuse for this practice.

Best
Rogov

Allowing kids to do this is not only reinforcing poor eating habits and atrocious table manners, but it's just plain insulting for the establishment and offensive to all the other diners. Honestly, I think our society is becoming far too lenient where children are concerned. If you don't push kids to eat something they aren't familiar with or they think is "yucky," then we'd all just eat peanut butter and jelly - or worse, Happy Meals - for the rest of our lives.

Great comments Melisa, and I love your blogs. You make the wine world sound more interesting to me, and the following blogs about cilantro, etc. were a good read.

Just looking at it from the restaurant owner's POV, it's insulting and should be an absolute no-no.
And no, the customer is not always right and bad manners should not be encouraged and certainly not tolerated
And as this smug, "I have the right" display of obnoxious behavior begins with the parents, think about what the next generation is gonna turn out like...

[Jenise]

A child that cannot cope with the real world and find a place to fit within it should be left at home. It's understandable that kids are picky--there's a reason that McDonalds burgers taste good to them--but their little palates are changing and expanding by the day and eventually they'll learn to like nearly everything they think they hate. But until they're flexible enough to choose something, and there's got to be something, off a restaurant menu, they shouldn't be there.

As a kid, I hated and refused to eat every type of bean except green, anything white and creamy, cheese, fish, ground beef in any form, gravy, any meat cooked well done, eggs, and onions. That may sound fairly limiting, but we dined out in white tablecloth restaurants quite frequently and I never had trouble finding something that I loved: rare beef, fried shrimp, roast chicken, broiled lobster tail, all vegetables, salad and every carbohydrate in the universe. I doubt if my parents actually thought of me as picky or ever chose a restaurant, or not, based on my dislikes.

As to bringing food especially for the children to restaurants - I see that as acceptable on only one occasion - when the child is young enough (but well behaved enough) that he/she is capable primarily of eating only jarred baby food or breast milk. Beyond that, with apologies to all, I see no possible logic to or excuse for this practice.

Best
Rogov

This was the only reason I can possibly think of where bringing anything in would be acceptable.

Our kids, now 12 & 13, have always been able to find something palatable regardless of the restaurant. Heck, I remember when my oldest was around 9 mos, sitting in a high chair at our favorite mexican restaurant gnawing on the marinated complimentary carrots and jalapenos (we didn't let her have a pepper)... she's still my spicy food girl.

As a kid, I hated and refused to eat every type of bean except green, anything white and creamy, cheese, fish, ground beef in any form, gravy, any meat cooked well done, eggs, and onions. That may sound fairly limiting, but we dined out in white tablecloth restaurants quite frequently and I never had trouble finding something that I loved: rare beef, fried shrimp, roast chicken, broiled lobster tail, all vegetables, salad and every carbohydrate in the universe. I doubt if my parents actually thought of me as picky or ever chose a restaurant, or not, based on my dislikes.

Hah! That's hardly limiting, Jenise. Andrew right now eats with regularity: hamburgers (w/ ketchup and pickle), salmon, lamb, barbeque and duck; cheese pizza; edamame (steamed soybeans) and carrots; pasta, rice and bread; egg whites; apples, tangerines, grapes, berries, canteloupe. He dislikes mixing anything, sauces of any sort, anything green apart from edamame and pickles, tomatoes, spices, cheese, less-than-ripe fruit, etc. Things like chicken, spinach and bologna he has an on-again, off-again relationship with. For the most part, as I said above, this doesn't limit us too much. But what do you pack for a school lunch? He'll only eat about 1/3 of the hot lunches served at his school, so 2-3 days a week we have to pack something from home. Sandwiches? Not easily: he won't eat any lunch meat, cheese or peanut butter. Soup? no. Mac 'n' cheese? Nope. Egg white sandwiches and cold hamburgers have pretty much been what we could get some agreement on. And as much I resist pandering to his tastes, at school we have absolutely zero leverage: if he doesn't eat lunch he will gorge on the snacks offered in his class and in aftercare. Not easy, let me tell you...

Mark Lipton
(My mother just cackles when I relate these tales to her, vivdly recalling the hell I put her though over the same issue of school lunches )

I read some of the posts by parents on the forum you linked. Not only am I disappointed that parenting standards are non-existant, and children are running the household, I find the practice selfish, self-centered, over-accommodating, and irksome. These are probably the same parents whose children freely walk through the restaurant and stand at other peoples tables gawking. I even had one kid reach for something on my plate once. The parent was not appreciative of my response when I barked my command, "NO. SIT".

When I took my daughter to her first restaurant, they had to rob a cushion from another chair to place under her just so she could reach the table. Restaurant staff was surprised that at 2.5 years she knew how to use a fork. My son took a little longer, but by 5 he was ordering from the menu the things he wanted to eat. (We had to slow him down by the age of 8, when he realized the waitress would bring him whatever he wanted. Once he ordered 2 orders of fries, an extra soda and a burger to go -- on our dime!) Children are malleable and educable at any age. It's not the children, it's the stupid parents!

Jenise, I think that considering the era you cme from, you were the norm, as was I. I ate, what was served to me and like most everything.
We did not pamper our kids with food likes or dislikes. It just never came up. I cooked, they ate. Our daughter had issues with nuts and avocados. The boys ate it all. Sometimes they ate more of one thing and left the other. We never made a big deal out of food. They just ate. I really don't understand why todays kids are so picky. Do you suppose it is because so many families do eat fast food? I kind of doubt that. I do know that if given good, healthy foods, they will eventually come around...some take longer than others. I will admit to something....whenever I am trying to drop a few pounds, I always take my vinaigrette (home made) to a restaurant and order my salads with no dressing. I have a very small container in my purse, and put it on the salad when wait staff are out of site. I cannot tolerate the vinegar and oil served at most restaurants, that come in those little jars. I've been served icky oil and vinegar of unknown flavors.

I guess I can see why some (clueless) parents might try this. It will keep the kids quiet and the restaurant sells at least one meal. I agree with Rogov, though. If the kids can't sit in the restaurant, eat the restaurant's food, and behave well, then they should not be in the restaurant.

As an aside, my pet peeve in this regard is kids who can't stay in their seats and who endanger themselves and the servers by playing in the aisles between tables and such. Drives me crazy to watch their parents sitting obliviously while the kids roll around on the floor and the waitstaff gingerly attempt to avoid tripping over them.

read some of the posts by parents on the forum you linked. Not only am I disappointed that parenting standards are non-existant, and children are running the household, I find the practice selfish, self-centered, over-accommodating, and irksome. These are probably the same parents whose children freely walk through the restaurant and stand at other peoples tables gawking. I even had one kid reach for something on my plate once. The parent was not appreciative of my response when I barked my command, "NO. SIT".]

LOL, now you are a lady I'd love to know....I am prone to do the same thing! I have had grandchildren do that when I am serving plated food. Ha! They don't do it a second time....in our home anyway. And yes, they love coming here! After barking at them, I always smile and say. "grandma is tough!" Thankfully, our kids stick up for me.

I read some of the posts by parents on the forum you linked. Not only am I disappointed that parenting standards are non-existant, and children are running the household, I find the practice selfish, self-centered, over-accommodating, and irksome. These are probably the same parents whose children freely walk through the restaurant and stand at other peoples tables gawking. I even had one kid reach for something on my plate once. The parent was not appreciative of my response when I barked my command, "NO. SIT".

When I took my daughter to her first restaurant, they had to rob a cushion from another chair to place under her just so she could reach the table. Restaurant staff was surprised that at 2.5 years she knew how to use a fork. My son took a little longer, but by 5 he was ordering from the menu the things he wanted to eat. (We had to slow him down by the age of 8, when he realized the waitress would bring him whatever he wanted. Once he ordered 2 orders of fries, an extra soda and a burger to go -- on our dime!) Children are malleable and educable at any age. It's not the children, it's the stupid parents!

Gosh Jo Ann...I couldn't agree more! I feel like this whole generation is about kids. It is totally ridiculous when I go out with my husband on a romantic date and there are a bunch of kids running around in a high end restaurant. Honestly, if your kids are picky..stay home. I have 2 young kids and we do not take them out. My daughter goes out to a diner or Friendly's occasionally. She is well behaved, but does get fidgety and I don't think she is ready to go to nicer places (and she can eat properly with a knife and fork...napkin on the lap, which is more than most kids these days). My son is allergic to everything, so we would have to bring food with us for him, so we have only taken him out to eat out twice (he is 5). I think it is unbelievably annoying when I go to a place that is not "kid friendly" and there are young kids, running around, making a stink, and ruining my experience. This would have NEVER happened when I was growing up. I do think parents are selfish these days...they want to go out and can't get a sitter so they take their kids out with them. Then they ruin MY evening. There is no social awareness these days...and I think that the sense of entitlement for the next generation will be extremely detrimental...ok, of my soapbox now

We took our first two grandkids on solo 3000 mile road trips at age 14. The first one ate only BBQ's ribs or chicken fingers. The second one ate practically nothing, but had a fairly good time anyway. We have five to go at this point, and have no idea how they will go, but will never allow them to bring anything in with them.

I read some of the posts by parents on the forum you linked. Not only am I disappointed that parenting standards are non-existant, and children are running the household, I find the practice selfish, self-centered, over-accommodating, and irksome. These are probably the same parents whose children freely walk through the restaurant and stand at other peoples tables gawking. I even had one kid reach for something on my plate once. The parent was not appreciative of my response when I barked my command, "NO. SIT".

I'm glad I was on my best behaviour last August, then!

Ok, I also went and read several pages of posts from the thread Robin linked to. It seems to me that the "justification" for this behavior boils down to, "I want to go out to eat to a place that serves absolutely nothing that my kids will eat yet I insist on bringing them along because it would cost too much to do otherwise. Rather than listen to them whine about the restaurant's offerings, I will buy them food that they will eat from another restaurant and bring that along."

I don't buy this as being anything but extremely crass and selfish behavior. Having kids puts major limits on what people can do, including when and where they go out to eat. That is just reality. It would make far more sense to me to take the kids someplace where they will find something they can eat. If that leaves nowhere but McDonald's, then the parents have no one but themselves to blame.

We always viewed a trip to a restaurant as an opportunity to teach our kids something about good manners and good behavior in public places. It's apparent that there are at least a few who take an opposite tack, more along the lines of, "I don't care how disrespectful I look as long as I get what I damn well please".

Of course, anyone with a kid who has special dietary restrictions and who discreetly brings food from home does not at all fall into the category of crass or selfish. In such circumstances, a trip to a restaurant can be a lesson for that kid in how to deal with such restrictions while maintaining good manners and having some fun.

As a kid I looked forward to going to a restaurant because I could get things to eat that weren't normally served at home. As a parent, we took our kids out to dinner frequently and they learned to appreciate all types of food. They also learned how to behave in public (or else )

Bringing food from elsewhere into a restaurant is, if nothing else, being just plain rude to the restaurateur.

-Paul W.

Great comments Melisa, and I love your blogs. You make the wine world sound more interesting to me, and the following blogs about cilantro, etc. were a good read.

Thanks for reading, Karen!

they want to go out and can't get a sitter so they take their kids out with them. Then they ruin MY evening.

While I agree in principle with all of the earlier posts, I am pretty sure those parent's behavior won't change. So if it comes down to the restaurant allowing those parents to bring in Happy Meals or having my dinner ruined by their fussy and ill-behaved children, I prefer they bring the Happy Meal.