A restaurant owner writes a list of rules for servers

[Jenise]

Do you agree with this list? Anything missing? Which 'rule' do you agree but rarely see?

http://boss.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/10/29/one-hundred-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do-part-one/?em

Personally I didn't see anything that shouldn't be on the list. I'd answer my last question with rule 31--gee, the food's hardly touched, but they don't ask? There goes the tip!

Do you agree with this list? Anything missing? Which 'rule' do you agree but rarely see?

http://boss.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/10/29/one-hundred-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do-part-one/?em

Personally I didn't see anything that shouldn't be on the list. I'd answer my last question with rule 31--gee, the food's hardly touched, but they don't ask? There goes the tip!

And LOL, here's the rebuttal from the 'waiter rant' site!
http://waiterrant.net/?p=1485

[Jenise]

Shel, waitstaff does get a lot of abuse, but a lot of that comes with the territory. I read about half this guy's rebuttals but he actually lost me pretty early on #3.

Never refuse to seat three guests because a fourth has not yet arrived. This is complete bullshit and a money loser for the restaurant. What happens when you seat those three people but their friend doesn’t show up for an hour? I’ll tell you what – they’ll eat bread and water while waiting for their friend to get his or her chronically passive-aggressive late ass in gear. The result being that the restaurant can’t turn the table and no one, including the waiter, makes money.

The thing is the threesome never believes their buddy is going to be an hour late. His assertion by implication that I and my two friends should stand around for an hour, thirsty and hungry and in everybody else's way, is absurd. A restaurant that would make me do that is one I'd never go back to. And neither would anyone else, and then the restaurant would close and then he'd be out of a job. Something that does not seem to occur to him. As much as customers are often idiots, without them there's no enchilada.

37. Do not drink alcohol on the job, even if invited by the guests. “Not when I’m on duty” will suffice.

Even if invited by the guests?

When I am attending a BYOW event, we always offer tastes of our wine to the staff and Management. It seems like the friendly thing to do and we have rarely encountered a person that turned down the offer to enjoy the wine with us.

[Jenise]

37. Do not drink alcohol on the job, even if invited by the guests. “Not when I’m on duty” will suffice.

Even if invited by the guests?

When I am attending a BYOW event, we always offer tastes of our wine to the staff and Management. It seems like the friendly thing to do and we have rarely encountered a person that turned down the offer to share the wine with us.

In Los Angeles, the same would have been true for me. Up here, we're more often met with "thanks" and they remove the glass to somewhere else where, presumably, it's saved for later. Or not. Takes a lot of fun out of sharing, I'll tell you.

Any restaurateur or waiter/waitress who follows those rules is guaranteed a place in paradise. Only two very small comments:

1. Do not let anyone enter the restaurant without a warm greeting. Add to that, and be sure that the greeting is sincere.

37. Do not drink alcohol on the job, even if invited by the guests. “Not when I’m on duty” will suffice. I see nothing wrong with the waitstaff accepting a small taste of a wine when so invited.

As to the schlemazel who responds on the waiters' rant site, I don't want him either serving or dining at my table.

Looking forward to numbers 51-100.

Question Jenise, would you as in that party of three, (and I'm with you, would insist on being seated) really wait for an hour for the fourth person to come before you ordered?
Even discounting cell phones, the resto phone works and any responsible and courteous person who was unavoidably late would let the rest of the party know. After maybe 15 minutes max, without any word, that's rude, so sayonara babe, we're ordering. And if that person does stumble in an hour late and is 'miffed' he/she wasn't waited for...TS!

[Jenise]

Question Jenise, would you as in that party of three, (and I'm with you, would insist on being seated) really wait for an hour for the fourth person to come before you ordered?
Even discounting cell phones, the resto phone works and any responsible and courteous person who was unavoidably late would let the rest of the party know. After maybe 15 minutes max, without any word, that's rude, so sayonara babe, we're ordering. And if that person does stumble in an hour late and is 'miffed' he/she wasn't waited for...TS!

No, I wouldn't have waited. I'd give them 30 minutes depending on how amused and relaxed I was in the meantime, especially if it's someone who is not habitually late or inconsiderate. After that, you just have to presume they're not going to make it and for some reason were unable to let you know. In general I don't let inconsiderate people hold me up. But then, all of my friends are very considerate!

I know it's all open to interpretation, but

8. Do not interrupt a conversation. For any reason. Especially not to recite specials. Wait for the right moment.

seems a bit strict because some groups don't have any lulls in the conversation!

But, the general concept of being attentive to the customers is well-taken. Of course this also depends on the type of establishment. Some of the responses sounded like they were working in cheap diner type places where there is a bit less ceremony. Which is fine.

You're right Jenise, was being to rigid, half hour max is just about acceptable and would hope with an extremely good excuse if there was no attempt to let us know before the 'entrance'. We too, don't know anybody that inconsiderate at this time, but as there's no shortage of them...the future looks interesting!

Waiting for someone to show up at a restaurant should be no longer than 15 minutes. Yes, 15 minutes...the phone at the restaurant works, even if the cell phone does not. If your friend calls, ask what they want, and get the meal ordered.
I sat in a restaurant for an hour once waiting for a lady I barely knew, but asked if I would go to lunch with her. After an hour I ordered lunch and ate alone. When I got back to my office, I called her to see if she had met with an accident or other emergency. She had simply decided not to come. I asked why she did not call me and she said, "I did not know the telephone number of the restaurant." I decided then and there, this was not a person I wanted in my life and when she called again for lunch, I told her so. I also vowed never to wait that long for anybody, again. So rude.

One of the most-frequently broken of these rules is #17. It is almost impossible to find staff who obey it!

Pretty good list. The snappy retort was wearying.

Not a bad list at all. But, even when the next 50 are added it will fall far short of the requirements for a server in a quality restaurant.

These are the folks who represent one's food to the public. And in most instances they are on the way to a career - and not one in the restaurant business. Often they are relying on personality. And that is not enough.

In general this is very good - indeed any list where there's 50 items on and nothing you vehemently disagree with, is mightily impressive.

I have some minor quibbles, that some of the things he says 'never do' might be acceptable, in the right context. e.g. he says never refer to a person as 'lady'. I suspect he means "hey lady!", rather than "the lamb is for the lady?" which I wouldn't see as a problem. Likewise if someone says they are vegan or lactose intolerant, then I see no issue whatsoever with the waiter/waitress declaring that they are as well - it shows they have an understanding and will likely have a keen focus on the suitability of the various dishes.

#11 made me pause for thought. On one hand, maybe it does sound like a hussle, but if diners 1 & 2 to order choose the lobster, do you now declare that was the last 2 lobsters? The rest of the diners might feel miffed and the two that ordered it embarassed. Better IMO to be upfront and apologise that there are only two more lobsters remaining and let the group sort it out based on their dynamics. What happens if two tables at opposite ends of the room are ordering? I presume 1st waiter back to the kitchen gets the lobster for their table? Clearly a danger area.

regards

Ian

One of the most-frequently broken of these rules is #17. It is almost impossible to find staff who obey it!

Indeed. It seems like one has to go all the way to the highest restaurant heights of gastronomy and ceremony (and price) before they can pay more attention to pacing and harmony.

One of the most-frequently broken of these rules is #17. It is almost impossible to find staff who obey it!

Indeed. It seems like one has to go all the way to the highest restaurant heights of gastronomy and ceremony (and price) before they can pay more attention to pacing and harmony.

I was quite surprised that Landmarc (in Tribeca) actually followed the rule. I must mark up their "height" in my thinking.

This guy is my hero. I especially love the one about reading the specials--it's not an audition. Some servers deliver the specials in such an overacted style that I get embarrassed for them.

Shel, waitstaff does get a lot of abuse, but a lot of that comes with the territory. I read about half this guy's rebuttals but he actually lost me pretty early on #3.

You did much better than I, Jenise. I stopped paying much attention after #2.
2. Do not make a singleton feel bad. Do not say, “Are you waiting for someone?” Ask for a reservation. Ask if he or she would like to sit at the bar. Yeah, but we waiters know you’re on a blind date and are already laying bets if you’re gonna bolt when you discover your internet love is 300 pounds of unwashed manic-depressive goodness.
No matter who I may be awaiting and under what circumstances, who are you to decide I am not worthy of a seat? And, "...we waiters know..." - Really? Then, if you know me so intimately, there is no need for you to bring a menu, just place my meal before me in the way I want it prepared! I have a feeling he is one of those insufferable, eye-rolling, snippy waiters who expect that every customer should leave him a 25% tip, regardless of service.
The article is a good one, but I wouldn't hold wait staff to all 50 rules. However, I really get annoyed having to listen to wait staffs' personal conversations and gripes. It's bad enough I am within earshot of the couple seated next to me who are each on their cell phones with other people. Geesh!

[Jenise]

I have a feeling he is one of those insufferable, eye-rolling, snippy waiters who expect that every customer should leave him a 25% tip, regardless of service.

I took him as being one of those irritating people with a built-in foxhole mentality (everything comes down to some form of us vs. them) with the type of inferiority complex that is always searching for a means by which to feel superior that is ill-placed in any service industry because he/she resents the dependence on people he has convinced himself are inferior. The customer is no longer human, just a device from which cash must be extracted. I've run into it in waiters, hairdressers, tire changers, hey--even my architect!

I have a feeling he is one of those insufferable, eye-rolling, snippy waiters who expect that every customer should leave him a 25% tip, regardless of service.

I took him as being one of those irritating people with a built-in foxhole mentality (everything comes down to some form of us vs. them) with the type of inferiority complex that is always searching for a means by which to feel superior that is ill-placed in any service industry because he/she resents the dependence on people he has convinced himself are inferior. The customer is no longer human, just a device from which cash must be extracted. I've run into it in waiters, hairdressers, tire changers, hey--even my architect!

Any kitchen remodelers and subcontractors?

[Jenise]

Any kitchen remodelers and subcontractors?

Nope, not a one. There had great luck finding people who were excited about and wanted to collaborate on a very different-than-unusual project where their ideas and input was not just desired but needed. Lots of unusual challenges, and they've all become friends.

my thought is that a list of don'ts is one thing; but there are some DO'S that i'm very interested in as well. the main thing that separates american and french restaurants is that in france every staff person looks out for every customer. raising your head is a universal sign that you want something you don't have; and in france, someone nearly always sees it and they or someone else comes to find out what you want. in the US, every staff person has tunnel vision - every one of them without exception. even if you are their customer - if they aren't actually working on you at the time they are looking where they are going and not even their other customers. it drives me crazy. of course it is due to the tipping system we use. here, only your customers - not your employer, or the general success of the restaurant, determine your income. in france, every server is paid a living wage without relying on tips. in addition to being trained correctly to know the signs of customer needs, they know that the success of the restaurant as a whole is partly their responsibility. in the US, i've waved my arms, stood up - nothing will get staff at most restaurants to come and see what you need.

in the US, every staff person has tunnel vision - every one of them without exception.

David, that is an overly broad brush with which to tar American wait staff. Granted, many may be that way, but there are exceptions. Gail and I have just returned from dinner at a *gasp!* chain restaurant - Charleston's - where every wait staff person will tend to any table in need of service if the assigned person is busy. We eat there a couple of times a month on average, we've never had a bad meal there, and the service is always topnotch. As usual, the place was packed with diners tonight.

in france, every server is paid a living wage without relying on tips. in addition to being trained correctly to know the signs of customer needs, they know that the success of the restaurant as a whole is partly their responsibility...

Although due to the laws of supply and demand, when they work in restaurants where the stream of customers seems endless they have no incentive to be attentive. Post office syndrome at its finest!