RCP: Trunk-roasted tomatoes

Very easy recipe.

1) Get yourself invited over for dinner at the house of a friend who grows tomatoes. Bring a dessert of brownies, cobbler, or something else that fits in a 9" x 13" square pan. Bring the kids so you don't have much room in the car.

2) Have supper. Eat the dessert. Leave the leftovers at your friend's house and wash out the pan. Now is the time for your friend to say, "Man, we have way too many tomatoes. We'll give you some to take home." Accept this offer graciously.

3) Place tomatoes (heirlooms, plums, beefsteak, cherries, just mix them all together) in the cleaned-out cake pan.

4) Go out to the car. Because the car is full of kids and such, you will need to put the cake pan full of tomatoes in the trunk. Go home and forget that the tomatoes are there.

5) Get up very early the next morning. Drive out to the airport and park in the uncovered airport parking lot. Set local thermostat for highs in the low-to-mid 90's. Leave town for five days or so while the sun beats down relentlessly on your vehicle. Come back and get in the car and drive it home. Go to bed.

6) Get up in the morning, go outside, and open your trunk. Stop for a moment and wonder who-the-hell put those tomatoes in your trunk. Then remember that it was you-the-hell who put those tomatoes in your trunk. Remove pan full of tomatoes from trunk and bring in to kitchen.

I made this recipe last week. The tomatoes are surprisingly intact. A few of the larger ones had split and some of the cherries appear a little dessicated, but they look very pretty overall. No bad smells or mold are evident. They are very soft, though. Haven't had the guts to try one yet....

Leave town for five days or so while the sun beats down relentlessly on your vehicle.

Mike,

Where did you go for five days?

Oh my, how could you forget about a lovely dish of tomatoes? Sorry than happened.

Leave town for five days or so while the sun beats down relentlessly on your vehicle.

Mike,

Where did you go for five days?

I was in New Haven, CT for a conference. Beautiful town, but a bit humid.

A great story Mike. Some years ago a friend of mine co-authored a book about cooking on your car manifold. This might be a good start for the updated edition. Surely a nice artisan cheese could be had by leaving a half gallon of raw milk in your trunk, and Sauerkraut, Kimchi, and other fermented foods cannot be far behind.

Karen - It was definitely a tragedy.

Bob - I'll bet you could add some version of lutefisk to that list. Might have to burn the car afterwards, though.

Thanks for that smile, Mike. (Sorry about your absent-mindedness. )

I don't know if I ever posted my chicken balloon story here.

And attorney friend of mine (there I said it!) had a party every year - summertime, it was always hot - at his farm just outside Memphis Tennessee.

He and I and another friend always cooked at this party.

The party had a very elegant theme - it was the Annual Cow Patty Tossing Party. Barbecued chicken was always one item on the menu. With about 100 guests we would cut up a BUNCH of chickens. So there was always quite a bit of chicken debris remaining after the surgery.

My friend said, "Chef, you're always making stock at the school I know. I'll bet you'd like all the chicken scraps." He was right on both counts and I said so. Went on then and did party stuff for a while. You know, skeet shooting (no one died despite the alcohol). Cow patty throwing. I put the chicken out of my mind.

This was August and I had a Jeep Grand Cherokee at the time. I guess it was three or four days later when I had to run out and pick up some wine for lunch at the school.

Got in, cranked 'er up, looked in the rear view mirror and I thought my car was haunted. It looked like a large fat, white ghost riding in the far back. Got out, went back and opened the tailgate and there it was. The chicken debris. In a 55-gallon white can liner. I backed the car up to the dumpster and very gingerly lifted it out and put it in the dumpster.

Another day or so and it would have exploded I'm sure. I doubt I could have even gotten anyone to tow the car away.