Chicago Tribune's Nine Menu Pet Peeves

I say AMEN to this...


9 phrases to ban from restaurant menus

Tribune dining staff
July 6, 2009
Restaurants, let's not forget, are in the business of selling you food (emphasis on the word "selling.") All too often, restaurateurs rely on tired menu cliches that they believe make the food sound better. But we see through it.

--"Grilled to perfection"

What is perfection? Can you boil cabbage to perfection? We want a stove with a "perfection" setting.

--"World famous"



--"Kobe burger"

If it grazed in Idaho, it's not Kobe. It's only Kobe if it comes from the Kobe region in Japan.

--"Shrimp Scampi"; "Eggplant alla melanzane"; "With au jus"

Respectively interpreted as "shrimp shrimp"; "eggplant in the style of eggplant"; and "with with juice."

--"Garden Fresh"

Rick Bayless garnishes with microgreens grown in his Bucktown garden. He has the right to say garden fresh. You don't, Subway.

--"Homemade [anything]"

Whose home? The busboy's? Restaurant food should be made in the restaurant.

--"Melt in your mouth"

If a piece of steak literally or even figuratively melts in your mouth, there's a good chance it's not steak.

[Jenise]

--"Kobe burger"

If it grazed in Idaho, it's not Kobe. It's only Kobe if it comes from the Kobe region in Japan.

I totally agree with them; unfortunately, the public is familiar with the term Kobe and not with it's more correct cousin, Wagyu, which sounds like a stripper move.

--"Shrimp Scampi"[...]

Respectively interpreted as "shrimp shrimp"

A small quibble with this one: "scampi" (the plural of scampo) refers to the Norwegian Lobster (langoustine in French), not shrimp. "Shrimp scampi" as a phrase still makes no sense, but for slightly different reasons.

Pedantically yours,
Mark Lipton

--"Shrimp Scampi"[...]

Respectively interpreted as "shrimp shrimp"

A small quibble with this one: "scampi" (the plural of scampo) refers to the Norwegian Lobster (langoustine in French), not shrimp. "Shrimp scampi" as a phrase still makes no sense, but for slightly different reasons.

Pedantically yours,
Mark Lipton

Not a pedant (shut up!) but a chef. I always styled a dish with shrimp, garlic, white wine, Italian parsley, and lemon "shrimp, scampi-style" on my menus.

--"Melt in your mouth"

If a piece of steak literally or even figuratively melts in your mouth, there's a good chance it's not steak.

Unless it is Wa-gyu or kobe beef. "Melt in your mouth" is pretty accurate.

--"Melt in your mouth"

If a piece of steak literally or even figuratively melts in your mouth, there's a good chance it's not steak.

Unless it is Wa-gyu or kobe beef. "Melt in your mouth" is pretty accurate.

I had Wagyu beef a few weeks ago at a dinner party. There was still some chewing required. But it was very tender. Perhaps even too tender.

Back in the early '70s I made frequent trips to Thailand with the military. In those restaurants that catered to the 'Melicans they always served "Kobe Steak." It was actually tenderloin of water buffalo, and quite delicious.

--"Melt in your mouth"

If a piece of steak literally or even figuratively melts in your mouth, there's a good chance it's not steak.

Unless it is Wa-gyu or kobe beef. "Melt in your mouth" is pretty accurate.

I've enjoyed many steaks in my life, and never experienced one "melting in my mouth". I would be very disturbed if one did. The joy of eating a good piece of beef, is to enjoy the flavor of the beef as a result of the chewing action. I've had Kobe beef and Wagyu, as it stated in the menu. Really can't say that it was any better than the locally grown or a great steak from Harris Ranch in CA. Maybe it boils down to the fact that Gene owned a meat cutting operation in Eureka, years ago, and knew good meat when I married him. We always had excellent beef in the freezer. I have learned a thing or two about cooking over the years, as well.