Ragging on the Food Network again

[Jenise]

While I was holed up sick last week I watched some Food Network. I had tuned in for Michael Chiarello's show and ended up watching part of the next thing that came on, called something like Quick Meals. The host/cook is some Size 2 (if that) control freak who judging by the maybe three episodes I've seen of this, makes unappealingly somber, nutritionist versions of the kind of food Sandra Lee makes on Semi-Homemade--all her ingredients come out of grocery store packages (no special trips to the fishmonger or a Whole Foods Market for fresher, more interesting ingredients), 95% of her dishes involve skinless chicken breasts, and if it weren't for orange juice she'd never make a sauce.

I'd be a size 2 too if I had to eat her food. I'd skip meals!

On this particular episode she made 'beggars purses' to accompany the gigantic skinless chicken breasts she burned on her indoor grill (they cooked woefully unevenly, and she made no effort to reposition the ones that weren't browning enough with the ones that were going black). Here's what she did: in a large saute pan, she poured two tablespoons of toasted (she heavily emphasized that this was to be the toasted kind) sesame oil. I was already gasping at the quantity (I love it, but it's strong and a few drops were all she needed--it's a seasoning, not a cooking fat), when she tipped the bottle and poured in about two more. She then opened a bag of pre-cut cabbage slaw mix and put about one scant handful, or about one cup, of cabbage in the pan, which went limp immediately from the weight of the oil. Considering the amount of oil, I thought the whole bag would go in but no. She then put a pinch of oil-soaked cabbage inside a wanton skin and gathered it up, then those went in another pan to brown on the bottom, pot-sticker style. Nutritionally speaking, a travesty, and rather hilarious when you consider that the chicken breasts were inches away and starving for a little fat (they were sticking to the pan), and flavor-wise these dumplings would have been inedible. These went on a platter with the burnt chicken, which she sliced, and were doused with an orange vinaigrette, some of which she thickened in the next segment to make a "dipping sauce" the consistency of library paste for the shrimp she grilled after the chicken came off. Eew.

I can't believe she's still on the air. Anybody on this board has better food sense than she does.

Oh, but I did learn the basic rule for cooking shrimp, we don't need to be afraid of it anymore. Yup, here it is: "it's all about the 'C' and the 'O'. If they're 'C' shaped, they're cooked, and when they're 'O'-shaped, they're overcooked."

Oh, while watching this I also saw a commercial for a new show starring that Adam guy we all seemed to think should have won last year's Next Food Network Star contest. Didn't really get what it was about and I don't remember the name except to notice that it obviously won't be like the show he pitched during that series, but it will be on the air soon.

I've started watching the Green Network. Emeril ended up there, and apparently he has a cooking station inside a Whole Foods store, and teaches shoppers how to improve their meals. Non of that "BAM!" stuff either.

Wow, Jenise. Sounds like FN has hot a new low. I feel sorry for the crew on that show - it must be tough to come up with excuses for not eating what the host prepares.

Oh yeah, I have seen her show. I think it's the one where she uses something from the night before to make the following night's dinner as a "time saver." I limit my food network viewing to my time on the eliptical machine (which isn't as often as it should be! Excercising, not watching Food TV, that is...) Watching Ina or Giada, or even Michael will make me hungry (kind of masochistic, huh?), but not the one you are talking about. Everything she makes, makes me want to say, "And why would I waste even five minutes making that??"

The only show I can say I really do enjoy on that channel anymore is Iron Chef America. But I'm a little tired of Bobby Flay's mug.

Larry--BAM or no BAM, I have seen all I ever needed to see of Emeril.

At least that one is a "cooking show" and not a "contest." It is getting that there are more and more contests in prime time. It is a spinoff of the "reality syndrom." We hate it!!!!!

I can't get passed Big Daddy. I think that from the start of the last Food Network Star they wanted him and throughout the entire show they kept forgiving his mistakes so they could give him the win. There is something about him that grates on my nerves.

I do like Ina Garten. I've made a few of her dishes that I've liked, and it's nice that she looks like she eats what she cooks.

Oh yeah, I have seen her show. I think it's the one where she uses something from the night before to make the following night's dinner as a "time saver." I limit my food network viewing to my time on the eliptical machine (which isn't as often as it should be! Excercising, not watching Food TV, that is...) Watching Ina or Giada, or even Michael will make me hungry (kind of masochistic, huh?), but not the one you are talking about. Everything she makes, makes me want to say, "And why would I waste even five minutes making that??"

The only show I can say I really do enjoy on that channel anymore is Iron Chef America. But I'm a little tired of Bobby Flay's mug.

Larry--BAM or no BAM, I have seen all I ever needed to see of Emeril.

Not guilty.

I do like Ina Garten. I've made a few of her dishes that I've liked, and it's nice that she looks like she eats what she cooks.

I have tried variations of several of her recipes and they turned out to be winners. On the other hand, I think she jumped the shark when she went on that "Save the Hamptons" crusade.

Yeah, why should we fight poverty in Harlem, or AIDS in Haiti or starvation in Ethiopia when we should be saving the Hamptons.

[Jenise]

I feel sorry for the crew on that show - it must be tough to come up with excuses for not eating what the host prepares.

That conjures up some funny images--like an SNL skit.

[Jenise]

Watching Ina or Giada, or even Michael will make me hungry (kind of masochistic, huh?), but not the one you are talking about. Everything she makes, makes me want to say, "And why would I waste even five minutes making that??"

I wonder what her credentials are? She's clearly not professionally trained, and in fact she doesn't seem to be even an average home cook.

Oh yeah, I have seen her show. I think it's the one where she uses something from the night before to make the following night's dinner as a "time saver." I limit my food network viewing to my time on the eliptical machine (which isn't as often as it should be! Excercising, not watching Food TV, that is...) Watching Ina or Giada, or even Michael will make me hungry (kind of masochistic, huh?), but not the one you are talking about. Everything she makes, makes me want to say, "And why would I waste even five minutes making that??"

The only show I can say I really do enjoy on that channel anymore is Iron Chef America. But I'm a little tired of Bobby Flay's mug.

Larry--BAM or no BAM, I have seen all I ever needed to see of Emeril.

Not guilty.

Oh Larry, I beg your pardon.
I guess my comment was meant for Robert, but I wouldn't hold it against anyone who enjoys anything or anyone related to cooking. I'm just "Emeriled out."

So few shows worth watching on the Food Network now, it's sad. I am Tivoing all episodes of Tyler's Ultimate and Iron Chef America, but past that, it's quite dire. I miss Jamie Oliver and Michael Chiarello.

[Jenise]

So few shows worth watching on the Food Network now, it's sad. I am Tivoing all episodes of Tyler's Ultimate and Iron Chef America, but past that, it's quite dire. I miss Jamie Oliver and Michael Chiarello.

Michael's still on. I like him a lot--he's competent and easy-going, and he makes the kind of food I love to eat. Haven't seen Jamie in ages, but like you I did enjoy his show. Unfortunately the majority of the programming isn't cooking at all, it's just yukking it up about food. Which is why it's even more of a shame that they waste airtime on a show like this one I've complained of. Even when a show isn't to my tastes a reasonable person could see the appeal or commercial potential--even the dreaded Sandra Lee has that--but not this one.

[David M. Bueker]

There have been a few new episodes of Good Eats, but Alton looks like he doesn't care. I think he's burned out.

There have been a few new episodes of Good Eats, but Alton looks like he doesn't care. I think he's burned out.

I agree, I can barely watch him now. He is overexposed with ICA.

Michael's still on. I like him a lot--he's competent and easy-going, and he makes the kind of food I love to eat.

I must have missed this, Jenise. Are the shows new or reruns?

Watching Ina or Giada, or even Michael will make me hungry (kind of masochistic, huh?), but not the one you are talking about. Everything she makes, makes me want to say, "And why would I waste even five minutes making that??"

I wonder what her credentials are? She's clearly not professionally trained, and in fact she doesn't seem to be even an average home cook.

If it's the one I'm thinking of, with Robin Miller, I seem to recall that she's a food editor or writer.

[Jenise]

I must have missed this, Jenise. Are the shows new or reruns?

No idea. Except for the rare occasion, like being too sick to move and desperate for something to watch like I was last week, I don't watch the Food Network and have only caught his show by accident. Over the years I've probably only seen eight or nine episodes but never the same one twice so that could indicate that he filmed a number of them, but conversely, there's no sign of evolution (neither he nor his set ever changes) so maybe that suggests that he was only on for a season or two.

[Jenise]

If it's the one I'm thinking of, with Robin Miller, I seem to recall that she's a food editor or writer.

I just googled her, and as suspected she's a nutritionist. I found this factoid on her website: Robin has a Master's Degree in Food and Nutrition from New York University, 1998. I also learned that she wrote/published a healthy eating cookbook for Jane Fonda before that, in 1996.

I'm expecting the announcement any day that the network's name has been changed to TCN - The Clown Network.

I forced Cynthia to watch 25 seconds of Rachel Ray last night. The expression on her face was priceless.

I forced Cynthia to watch 25 seconds of Rachel Ray last night. The expression on her face was priceless.

That's about as much as I can stomach too. I actively avoid her and Flay (unless someone takes away his chipotles and puts a cork in his mouth).

You guys are missing out by not getting FN Canada. I gather they have most of the FN 'stars' and also some others - do you guys get Laura Calder, for instance?

...I also learned that she wrote/published a healthy eating cookbook for Jane Fonda before that, in 1996.

That's enough for me to change the channel. The last Jane Fonda movie I saw was Barbarella, which I saw in Vietnam, before she went to Hanoi.

I forced Cynthia to watch 25 seconds of Rachel Ray last night. The expression on her face was priceless.

Well, I'd never seen her before. I am dumbfounded that someone thought it was a good idea to give someone with a voice like that a speaking career. I haven't read her stuff, so that might be ok, and I know some here like her recipes, but that voice was just horrible.

[Jenise]

I forced Cynthia to watch 25 seconds of Rachel Ray last night. The expression on her face was priceless.

That's about as much as I can stomach too. I actively avoid her and Flay (unless someone takes away his chipotles and puts a cork in his mouth).

You guys are missing out by not getting FN Canada. I gather they have most of the FN 'stars' and also some others - do you guys get Laura Calder, for instance?

We don't; I had never heard of her before you sent me some information on her awhile back (to which I lost a whole day perusing FN Canada). Maybe it's just that a different set of clowns sounds better, but it does seem that your FN programming has more serious cooking and less fluff for the armchair chefs.