Dinner Thank You Notes?

I was discussing this with someone at my workplace today. Honestly, I can't remember the last time I sent a formal written thank you note for a dinner. But I tend not to accept invitations to dinner parties in homes extended by people I am not already very comfortable with. And most formal dinners I attend in restaurants are work-related and I am usually the hostess for those. So I guess it just never comes up.

How about you?

Cynthia,

I voted yes. I am the kinda person who writes thank yous for everything. The only time I don't write a thank you is if it's a casual BBQ and I am expected to bring food (and then I always bring a host gift and gifts for the children as well) so I kinda feel like that's a "pre-thank-you" LOL!

Ya know Cynthia...I don't get to do that many things these days with little ones, so I think that I am really, really thankful when I do get to do something...LOL!!

Sometimes. Particularly if I'm dining with people the generation above, who consider it appropriate. Rarely with peers. But I never ever arrive empty-handed - my mother would shoot me !

Sometimes. Particularly if I'm dining with people the generation above, who consider it appropriate. Rarely with peers. But I never ever arrive empty-handed - my mother would shoot me !

Everything she said.

I usually write a novel by way of thank you. X-rated if I really enjoyed the meal.

But I never ever arrive empty-handed - my mother would shoot me !

I am right there with you! I hate it when I ask what I can bring and they say "just yourself!" I take something anyway, even if it's flowers or wine or something they can use for a different meal.

If I've dined with very close friends (the most usual case for me), a note is unnecessary. I'll thank them profusely in person. Or if we're real close, the thank you is implicit and doesn 't need to be stated in writing.

Otherwise, yes, I send a note of thanks.

-Paul W.

[Robin Garr]

How about you?

In this day and age, I'm surprised no one has mentioned Email. I'm pretty much over the formal note thing (with the possible exception of the older generation, a cohort whose ranks are thinning). But a quick Email note seems both convenient and appropriate.

[Jenise]

Everything she said.

Ditto. So I checked "It depends" but the truth is "almost never".

[Jenise]

Everything she said.

Ditto. So I checked "It depends" but the truth "almost never". It's not neccessary among people who are like one's extended family and who reciprocate often in kind. If we get a new invitation from someone we haven't dined with before, or if I want to reassure a particularly nervous hostess, I will usually call a day or so later. But write? Rarely.

[David M. Bueker]

I do e-mail almost all of the time. I have penned notes to a few folks (boss, older folks who expect it).

If it's a co-worker I instead make sure I go to see them at work & thank them again. The last thing they need is more e-mail.

How about you?

In this day and age, I'm surprised no one has mentioned Email. I'm pretty much over the formal note thing (with the possible exception of the older generation, a cohort whose ranks are thinning). But a quick Email note seems both convenient and appropriate.

I thought about email, Robin. Then I thought about it and realized that email is not something I will do for a thank you. But, I have sent e-cards. I subscribe to 2 services, and will often whip off an e-card note, if nothing else. But, this is far less formal and, if I am hanging out the shingle with someone new, someone older than I, or someone necessary to impress -- always handwritten.

In fact, Robin, in this email age of utter informality, I view it as a gesture of the friendship to send a physical card. Unequivocal 'yes'.

When I lived in the US, i thanked folks in person. But since living here, and developing a more old world sensibility, I now make sure that I thank the host additionally via post or via email. Especially for my British friends, this is important. cheers, Bonnie

My decision to send a note following a dinner is dependant upon how bad my behavior was or if I broke anything during the course of the evening.

No, because the people we have for dinner are either neighbors or close friends. I always take a gift for the hostess and thank them as we are leaving. Usually, I send an email a couple of days later telling them how nice the evening was and that we really enjoyed ourselves.

If we are overnight guests in someone's home and we have dinner, I always send a written note upon arriving back home.

In fact, Robin, in this email age of utter informality, I view it as a gesture of the friendship to send a physical card. Unequivocal 'yes'.

ITA.

I thought about email, Robin. Then I thought about it and realized that email is not something I will do for a thank you. But, I have sent e-cards. I subscribe to 2 services, and will often whip off an e-card note, if nothing else. But, this is far less formal and, if I am hanging out the shingle with someone new, someone older than I, or someone necessary to impress -- always handwritten.

Jo Ann, would you PM me with the info regarding the e-card subscriptions? Thank you.

I will absolutely never open an e-card email. Much too dangerous.

[Robin Garr]

I will absolutely never open an e-card email. Much too dangerous.

Just for the record, I was not advocating an E-card in my defense of Email for social niceties. Just a personal note.

I will absolutely never open an e-card email. Much too dangerous.

The services I subscribe to tell you that "Jo Henderson has sent you and e-card....". They are not supposed to spam you when you open them. No one who has received one from me has indicated so. Just an FYI.

I'm with Jeff Grossman - and besides, believe it or not, there are some people out there who, even in this day and age, check their email infrequently. ( I can't stand people like that, but they do exist )

I keep a stack of thank you cards in my desk - it takes less than five minutes to fire one off, and I think it's still a nice touch. And no, I'm not OLD.

And no, I'm not OLD.

Really ? See, you just can't pick people online...

And no, I'm not OLD.

Really ? See, you just can't pick people online...

"C" I too am not old "yet" but I am getting there! My granddaughter had her 8th B-Day party today, and I got a hug, just for coming!