Food rants

[quote="Stuart Yaniger
"If we weren't supposed to eat people, why are they made of meat?"- Jeffrey Dahmer[/quote]

Stuart, I was wondering what was taking you so long to reply. Were you looking for your long pork cookbook?

[quote The menu had nothing suitable for vegetarians, a common thing in France.

If we weren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

"If we weren't supposed to eat people, why are they made of meat?"- Jeffrey Dahmer

And what of plant life...aren't vegetarians killing plants? Don't they have a right to live?

What right do we have to eat living plant life?

BTW...Do you know what they found in Jeffery Dahmer's shower?

Head and Shoulders.

Jeffery Dahmer had a refrigerator.

Yeah, it seats six.

I guess he really lost his head over that one.

[*rimshot*]

But seriously folks, I flew to Milwaukee and boy it really ate me up.

What do they call two lepers in a hot tub?



Stew.

[quote The menu had nothing suitable for vegetarians, a common thing in France.

"If we weren't supposed to eat people, why are they made of meat?"- Jeffrey Dahmer

What do you call animals who eat other animals, then?






Oh, the horror.

What do you call animals who eat other animals, then?

Carnivores. Or omnivores. I think that's the proper term.

What do you call animals who eat other animals, then?

Carnivores. Or omnivores. I think that's the proper term.

Indeed.


Now then, what is Man...?







Answer: An omnivore.

Game. Set. Match.

Now then, what is Man...?

http://users.telerama.com/~joseph/wman.html

Answer: An omnivore.

Depends. In my case, no. In my wife's case, no also, but for opposite reasons.

Now then, what is Man...?

http://users.telerama.com/~joseph/wman.html

Answer: An omnivore.

Depends. In my case, no. In my wife's case, no also, but for opposite reasons.

OK...and I respect that choice, Stuart.

My problem is with all this palaver about eating people relative to the eating meat issue.

Seems to me, the respect for one's choice needs to be mutual or it desolves into a kind of sanctimony. Make sense?

Those who know me will attest that I don't spend my time at PETA meetings. And I'm married to a woman who lives on hamburger and steak. I just don't understand carnivores' taboos on certain animals, including unprocessed soylent green.

Those who know me will attest that I don't spend my time at PETA meetings. And I'm married to a woman who lives on hamburger and steak. I just don't understand carnivores' taboos on certain animals, including unprocessed soylent green.

Hm.

I will assume that you are kidding and move on.


Thanks for playing along.

That was fun Stuart. Thanks

OK, Larry (and all)... omnibus answer time:

-- About tussling with Stuart about vegetarianism: don't.

-- About naifs who have never eaten food X before: Isn't it better to take a moment to teach them rather than allow them to be imbeciles in song & story for the rest of your life?

-- About kids' eating habits: Give 'em a break.

-- About adults' eating habits: Sure everyone has a few quirks, but try this one on for size: My partner won't eat...

raw tomatoes (unless cut into little bits),
onions (unless cooked to limp),
any kind of berry (no exceptions!),
asparagus,
green beans,
artichokes,
beets,
raw oysters (but OK cooked),
softshell crab (but OK hardshell),
steak less than well-done,
cheddar cheese,
cold soups,
coffee,
anything smoked.

Of course, just to confuse the issue, he does eat a wide array of strongly-flavored, unusual or "daunting" foods: mackerel, anchovy, brussel sprouts, cauliflower, blue cheese, sushi, escargot, rabbit, venison, balsamic.

Then, there's the texture thing: He wants crisp, tough, and chewy. A tender bufala mozzeralla is completely wasted on him.

What's a boy to do?

The real killers on this list, in cooking terms, are the prohibitions on onions and berries. So-o-o-o many dishes rely on onions for strength! Ditto ditto desserts and berries, not to mention my favorite raspberry vinegar!

I have a similar problem. My partner is allergic to:

Avocados
Tomatoes, raw or cooked
Just about every fruit except bananas which he hates
Every melon- I put this separately because it is particularly bad. He actually gets hives from touching them.
Peanuts
Soy

In addition, he refuses to consider:
Liver of any type, in any form. Except foie gras, which I won't touch for different reasons.
Anchovies- he loved the olivada that I made until I said it contained them
Blue cheese
Any other strong smelling cheese
Nutritional yeast
Miso, except AT a japanese restaurant
Tofu, except at a japanese restaurant. Don't ask me about the soy allergy and the last two items, I don't get it either
Any cultured milk product. No yogurt, kefir, buttermilk, can't even stand the sight of them in the fridge or in my hands- except sour cream which he loves.
The newest one? Tuna in oil. He loves tuna, but won't consider it packed in oil.

He does like sushi, sashimi, baby octopus, peanut butter (he'll eat a jar in about a day), peanuts in any other form, guacamole, marinara but not on pasta, spam (!!!), anything that his chef brother brings home that sounds gross as long as he can brag about having eaten it...

There's more but I can't remember it all. Yes, I realize that peanuts, avocado and tomatoes are in the allergy list as well as the liked list. Don't ask me. I definitely see a difference (mostly in mood) when he eats items that he is allergic to but I can't and don't want to be the food police.

OK, Larry (and all)... omnibus answer time:

-- About tussling with Stuart about vegetarianism: don't.

-- About naifs who have never eaten food X before: Isn't it better to take a moment to teach them rather than allow them to be imbeciles in song & story for the rest of your life?

-- About kids' eating habits: Give 'em a break.

I like to think of myself as a cross between Andy Rooney and Bugs Bunny, so I'll never stop--as you didn't. Besides, look at the wondrous thread this subject has wrought.

Years ago, I had a friend who would eat nothing with vinegar in it. Do you know many things have vinegar? Easy ones are pickles, mustard, ketchup, relish, horseradish sauce, salad dressings, and on and on.

Whenever he would eat a hot dog or hamburger, it would be dry--sans any condiments. The vinegar prohibition made it difficult to cook for him, but I think it was all in his head. He liked sweet and sour pork, which was okay for him despite my pointing out it had vinegar in it.

He also had prohibitions against mixing ethnic foods. They had to be pure in his mind. For example, green chile didn't belong on pizza because it wasn't ethnically pure, nor corn in Chinese food (never mind they've been cooking corn for several centuries) even though baby ears are common in many dishes and velvet soup is corn-based.

After he got divorced, I offered to show him how to cook. He more or less brushed that off because he only had to learn how to cook 4 or 5 things and that was that. (Wouldn't that be a boring epicurean delight for the rest of your life?)

Skye -- I think people sometimes purposely eat things that they are allergic to because it is stimulating (albeit, in a bad way).

Larry -- Amazing.

I've been wondering about that, based on observation of him. He definitely has a huge mood swing after eating things that he is allergic to; they also make his mouth and throat itch. Often, after eating those items he comments that he feels 'high'. I used to be concerned about possible diabetes but I don't think it seems like a blood sugar swing.

I've been wondering about that, based on observation of him. He definitely has a huge mood swing after eating things that he is allergic to; they also make his mouth and throat itch. Often, after eating those items he comments that he feels 'high'. I used to be concerned about possible diabetes but I don't think it seems like a blood sugar swing.

Sounds sort of like what people say they get out of eating fugu. Borderline toxicity must be something of a rush.


Mike

I just discovered two of my cousins say they are now allergic to bananas. Their main symptom is dryness of the mouth. That was a new allergy for me, but I researched it and it's related to latex allergy (something in bananas can trigger a latex-like reaction).

Bananas... latex.... must... resist... obvious.... joke....

Believe me; I thought of several. It's nice to see you're not sucking your thumb as a result of my ranting.

Game. Set. Match.

Not quite. Mankind might be omnivore, but they are not obligate carnivores.

Hm.

I will assume that you are kidding and move on.

Those of us who know Stuart a little better would say you shouldn't assume. Move on, yes. Assume, no.

Game. Set. Match.

Not quite. Mankind might be omnivore, but they are not obligate carnivores.

Hm.

I will assume that you are kidding and move on.

Those of us who know Stuart a little better would say you shouldn't assume. Move on, yes. Assume, no.