Things that annoy you while dining at a restaurant.

[...he is apparently hard of hearing so he put her on speaker phone which...he still held it to his ear...

No wonder he's hard of hearing!

I would not have been able to hold it together, Jenise. Since they were your guest (and you were not theirs

Actually, we were both the guests of the third couple and it was her birthday, so I had to contain myself. However the birthday girl was also quite appalled, so we openly discussed how rude the other couple was being (considering the wife equally guilty, as she did nothing to put a stop to it) and made "Can you believe THIS?" faces. The conversation lasted an astonishing six-seven minutes.

Phone Boy did end up popping for the entire meal, though, which was quite generous.

Still!!!

[Robin Garr]

I agree with Joseph. Most of my annoyances are attributable to my fellow diners. You know, cell phone, boatloads of cologne, load talking, people who are overly needy of the servers time to the point where my service has to suffer, drunks, ...you get the idea.
The other "house" related annoyances are valid, but I feel I have some control over most of that either through politely communicating my displeasure or not returning to restaurants that consistently annoy me.

You guys could just reserve the entire restaurant for your party and enjoy a quiet evening. With sufficient money, anything is possible.

I agree with Joseph. Most of my annoyances are attributable to my fellow diners. You know, cell phone, boatloads of cologne, load talking, people who are overly needy of the servers time to the point where my service has to suffer, drunks, ...you get the idea.
The other "house" related annoyances are valid, but I feel I have some control over most of that either through politely communicating my displeasure or not returning to restaurants that consistently annoy me.

You guys could just reserve the entire restaurant for your party and enjoy a quiet evening. With sufficient money, anything is possible.

Yes, that is one option, Robin if I had your $$$. The other option is for people to be considerate and aware of the impact their behavior has upon others. Novel concept, eh?

[Robin Garr]

if I had your $$$.

Yeah, I wish I had that kind of $$$.

Cell phones and loud mouths.

Okay, so I have a new one for you. Last night we dined with good friends at a high end white table cloth steakhouse, and the third couple was a couple visiting from Alaska. Who have a daughter in southern California, who called during dinner just to say hello. Jules not only took the call, he is apparently hard of hearing so he put her on speaker phone which though he still held it to his ear we could hear every mundane, boring word of. GRRRRRRRRRR.

The proper thing to do if you need to be able to take a call while at dinner is:
1. Put the phone on VIBRATE.
2. Take your call outside the dining room. Go to the WC or outside.

[Jenise]

Diners.

It's a good thing you got out of the business.

I agree with Joseph. Most of my annoyances are attributable to my fellow diners. You know, cell phone, boatloads of cologne, load talking, people who are overly needy of the servers time to the point where my service has to suffer, drunks, ...you get the idea.
The other "house" related annoyances are valid, but I feel I have some control over most of that either through politely communicating my displeasure or not returning to restaurants that consistently annoy me.
Redwinger

Wasn't be snippy, meant that in the most sincere way. If you're in a service related business and you get to where you don't like or respect your clientele, it's time to do something else. I said as much to a car dealer a few weeks ago when Bob and I had stopped to look at a second hand truck as his is maybe on the verge of breakdown. The salesman called a few days later and left a gushing message about how "excited" he was about maybe doing business with us and how we'd all be part of the same family soon. Now there's a guy who thinks all his clients are idiots and he's the only sharp tack in the room--time for him to find a new line of work.

The proper thing to do if you need to be able to take a call while at dinner is:
1. Put the phone on VIBRATE.
2. Take your call outside the dining room. Go to the WC or outside.

Agreed. And frankly, unless I'm a medical doctor who's on call, I find it very difficult to imagine a circumstance where I'd need to be able to take a phone call while at dinner at a fine restaurant.

But, then, I don't have a cell phone. The only reason I'd ever consider getting one is so that I could call for a towing service if my car died and stranded my in the middle of nowhere. And when I first subscribed to a land-line phone 30+ years ago, I asked the phone company if there was a way I could get a phone that was dial-out only--such that nobody could call me at home.

I completely fail to understand why someone who is going out with friends to a restaurant would want that pleasurable experience rudely interrupted by random phone calls from whomever.

-Paul W.

Generally agree, Paul, but here's a (paranoid?) case for it: I have a 79-year-old father. Uses a duffel bag for a pillbox. Something might happen at any time, you know.

Generally agree, Paul, but here's a (paranoid?) case for it: I have a 79-year-old father. Uses a duffel bag for a pillbox. Something might happen at any time, you know.

And, here is a question I put to everyone who needs to have their 10 year old call them just in case something goes wrong at school, a teenager might get into an auto accident, or, heaven forbid, something should happen to an elder parent:
"so that you can do what?" Just wondering.

"so that you can do what?" Just wondering.

Get to the hospital and start managing the Medical Care process.
Call the cardiologist to make sure he's in the loop.
Call the other people who care.
Go to his place and get his pj's, his glasses, his slippers.

I can go on for several pages. I have a detailed view of the world and an active imagination.

Though, truth to tell, I am not really defending the use of a cel phone at a fine restaurant. I just want to counter-balance the excessively cranky, negative, autocratic tone that Internet Whinging always seems to foster.

"so that you can do what?" Just wondering.

Get to the hospital and start managing the Medical Care process.
Call the cardiologist to make sure he's in the loop.
Call the other people who care.
Go to his place and get his pj's, his glasses, his slippers.

Sooner than you otherwise would be able to, I'm imagining. Because, once I'm contacted by the immediate, first responders, I do all of those things too. Even without a cell phone.

This thread has taken an interesting course. Just this morning I sent out a lengthy message to friends and family about our experiences and memories on 9/11. We were on Staten Island that morning and were on the Gothals Bridge when the first plane hit. We had to go to the Garden State to I-87 to the Tappan Zee to get away; and then to the first rest are in CT to call people to let them know we were OK. It would have been nice to have had a cell phone then, but then again it probably wouldn't have worked!

[Jenise]

The proper thing to do if you need to be able to take a call while at dinner is:
1. Put the phone on VIBRATE.
2. Take your call outside the dining room. Go to the WC or outside.

That's exactly right; there are polite alternatives.

[Robin Garr]

That's exactly right; there are polite alternatives.

Agreed. I would also add that it makes sense to object to people talking on cellphones at a sufficient volume to distract neighbors. This isn't really about the cellphone, though. It falls under the broader rule of "Don't be loud, don't be obnoxious."

But I'm having a hard time figuring why anyone would really care if a stranger at another table takes a cellphone call quietly, at the level of normal conversation. If the noise doesn't bother you, being upset at the mere fact that he's doing it seems awfully judgmental to me.

That's exactly right; there are polite alternatives.

Agreed. I would also add that it makes sense to object to people talking on cellphones at a sufficient volume to distract neighbors. This isn't really about the cellphone, though. It falls under the broader rule of "Don't be loud, don't be obnoxious."

But I'm having a hard time figuring why anyone would really care if a stranger at another table takes a cellphone call quietly, at the level of normal conversation. If the noise doesn't bother you, being upset at the mere fact that he's doing it seems awfully judgmental to me.

I think the thread is about what annoys you at restaurants. If people weren't being loud and obnoxious, we wouldn't notice that they were using a cell phone. The rest of the responses were related to Jenice's particular situation where the cell phone was being used at her table -- which is the rub for me. I don't generally care about other people's cell phone use (or anything else they do, for that matter), except as it interferes with my social interactions (and safety -- as in cars). I absolutely hate it when I am at the gym and the two people on either side of me on the stairmaster are both on their cell phones (I'm trying to read). It got so bad at my little gym that they had to post Cell Phone Free Zone signs. Some people just have no coof!

Sooner than you otherwise would be able to, I'm imagining. Because, once I'm contacted by the immediate, first responders, I do all of those things too. Even without a cell phone.

Pay phones are becoming scarce.

After my post about 4 of us going to Tapas restaurant and getting the main course after only about 5 bites of our salads, I decided to send an email to the restaurant, politely explaining how we felt about being rushed. I received an email the very next morning, thanking me for my concerns, because they certainly do not want to rush their diners and that a memo would go out immediately to wait staff. So how do we feel about this?

Personally, in my working life, I was so fortunate to have supervisors who believed in the strength of proper training, hands on guidance and a few outside classes, when necessary. But a memo.....why not a training session during the weekly personnel meeting, face to face, explaining to the wait staff how admin. wants the dinning public to feel while in their restaurant, not rushed, each course coming out after the previous one is finished, not too early or too late, and whatever else needs to be discussed to make the visit a happy one and insuring that people want to return.

[Jenise]

Karen, the terminology about memo probably didn't imply that it would go to each individual person on the staff, it's probably more a euphemism for what happens when the office/manager/owner brings matters to the attention of the "front-of-house" persons. And in the end things change or they don't--all you care about is the results, right?

Agreed. I would also add that it makes sense to object to people talking on cellphones at a sufficient volume to distract neighbors.

Robin-
I think this is what most of the responders to this thread find annoying. My guess is that 90%+ of people just talk too loadly on cells. Much like when people complain about children in fine dining. It's not all children, just those that misbehave. We keep getting back to basic manners and respect for others.
BP

[Robin Garr]

My guess is that 90%+ of people just talk too loadly on cells.

WHAT!? I CAN'T HEEEAAAARRRR YOOOUUUUU!

Much like when people complain about children in fine dining. It's not all children, just those that misbehave. We keep getting back to basic manners and respect for others.
BP

Good points, sir. I do believe you are correct.

Karen, the terminology about memo probably didn't imply that it would go to each individual person on the staff, it's probably more a euphemism for what happens when the office/manager/owner brings matters to the attention of the "front-of-house" persons. And in the end things change or they don't--all you care about is the results, right?

It that how you would read this email to me?

Thank you so much for taking the time to let us know about your experience.
It is the intent of our concept to always allow guest to linger and enjoy their meal so I am disappointed you were rushed in any way.

I will be distributing your comments a general and anonymous memo to all staff.

Again thank you for your time and I hope you will give Tapas another try.

Sincerely,

Christine A. Silver
Co- Proprietor

[Jenise]

I will be distributing your comments a general and anonymous memo to all staff.

Yes, actually, I would. It's non-specific, and nothing about it precludes the kind of situation you wish for except that things don't usually work like that in restaurants. The fact that you received a response specific to your complaint rather than some boiler plate apology of the type Olive Garden must hand out in droves speaks pretty well for them, I think, and the message will go out to servers by whatever method they do that at this restaurant--which could be a note tacked to a bulletin board next to the health department notice about hand-washing. Point is, as long a the next time you go to this restaurant you don't have a similar or other bad experience: problem solved.

Sooner than you otherwise would be able to, I'm imagining. Because, once I'm contacted by the immediate, first responders, I do all of those things too. Even without a cell phone.

Pay phones are becoming scarce.

Jeff Grossman said:
Get to the hospital and start managing the Medical Care process.
Call the cardiologist to make sure he's in the loop.
Call the other people who care.
Go to his place and get his pj's, his glasses, his slippers.

Once I'm at the hospital I manage the medical care process in person (no cell phone required)
I call the cardiologist before I leave home to update her on the situation and let her know I will be at the hospital within 30 minutes and expect to meet them there, if necessary
I call other people who care once I have the situaiton under control and return home without putting them into the queue while I am multi-tasking the care process
Only a key is required to get into his place to pick up his belongings. Don't see the significance of a cell phone for this task.

Being in control of a situation and feeling like you're in control of a situation are two different things. We all managed to take care of myriad tasks and responsibilities without the use of cell phones fewer than 20 years ago. I understand the convenience of cell phones. (I have one for my job, but I don't use it for any other purpose and don't hand out the number.) I don't understand people's need for them. Nonetheless, there is no need to further this discussion, I am satisfied that we both understand one another's position on this issue -- and I much appreciate your responses.