Food rants

[Robin Garr]

Now Robin! Robert Sz isn't ALL that bad!

I don't think you were there to see his meltdown, Bob. It was as bad as anything we've ever seen on WLDG, complete with drunken raving and vile obscenity. Dunno what's up with the guy. I had met him at a couple of offlines and he was nice, but he became <i>persona non grata</i> after that exhibition.

I just remembered something about our nephew. He would eat each food on his plate individually and sequentially. And they weren't allowed to touch each other.

My bro eats only two vegetables: french fries and corn. It's sooo healthy.

I've known people who eat nothing that's green. If one stray sliver of lettuce is on their Mexican plate, it's removed before they can eat.

I just remembered something about our nephew. He would eat each food on his plate individually and sequentially. And they weren't allowed to touch each other..

I've seen a lot of kids that are that way, almost as many as those who deliberately mix everything together in one huge gross looking pile and then claim "I can't eat that! It's gross."

I've known people who eat nothing that's green. If one stray sliver of lettuce is on their Mexican plate, it's removed before they can eat.

Arrgh! No lettuce or guacamole? How can they claim it's Mexican? Still, it could be worse. I know one person at work who refuses to eat anything that isn't low-fat or fat free, yet I've seen this person then proceed to put enough butter on that slice of Weight watcher's bread to clog a horse's arteries (along with a little coffee with his/her cream and sugar and extra meat and cheese on his/her sandwiches).

I know two sugar freaks. One puts 6-8 packets of sugar into a cup of coffee. The other one is even worse. I once saw him in a health food store take a small coffee cup, which was there for the free coffee, and proceed to fill it with honey--sans coffee.

One of my relatives has a rule: never eat leftovers. And he doesn't. What a waste. Food gets one chance and then it's thrown out.

Some others eat only "American" food. I received a jar of Del Monte mixed fruit from them that was pretty good--its crime was that it was packed in Thailand. I wonder if they have figured out where bananas come from.

Hoke, the soft shell crab incident occurred at the restaurant at Domaine Chandon and, coincidentally, the person in question is a good old boy from Texas as well. Nice guy but a little clueless.

Karen, I was taught that in a restaurant or dining as a guest in another's home, one should break off just a bite-size portion of the bread each time to butter and eat. But at home with jam? I do the entire slice or portion all at once.

One proviso is that I always use a spoon to scoop out the jam from the jar. That was one of my dad's pet peeves, finding toast crumbs or butter bits in the jam jar, and I inherited it.

I just remembered something about our nephew. He would eat each food on his plate individually and sequentially. And they weren't allowed to touch each other.

My bro eats only two vegetables: french fries and corn. It's sooo healthy.

I've known people who eat nothing that's green. If one stray sliver of lettuce is on their Mexican plate, it's removed before they can eat.

LOL!

When my boys were much younger we went on a vacation trip to West Texas and New Mexico.

Both boys were notoriously picky eaters, so when we were in this place outside Carlsbad Caverns I was surprised whilst looking at a menu board and my younger son (then about 9) said he'd try some tacos.

I looked at him in total astonishment. "You eat tacos? Since when???"

"Oh, Dad," he said, "I eat them all the time. I like 'em. Whenever I go over to my friend Julian's house, his Mom makes tacos for us. They're great!"

I was awestruck. Amazed. My son had broken out of the pizza and mac'n'cheese mold and had starting eating food! So I ordered him three tacos.

"Dad,", he said when I ordered, "Could you tell them to not put any hot sauce on?" Sure, no problem.

"And could you have them not put on the shredded lettuce. I don't like the lettuce." Um, okay then, sure.

"And no tomatoes, I hate tomatoes." Well, okay...

"And no cheese either, please, okay?"

Sooooo, I said, what you want is ground meat in a taco shell. And nothing else.

"Yeah, right, that's the way I like my tacos. They're great."

I just remembered something about our nephew. He would eat each food on his plate individually and sequentially. And they weren't allowed to touch each other.

My bro eats only two vegetables: french fries and corn. It's sooo healthy.

I've known people who eat nothing that's green. If one stray sliver of lettuce is on their Mexican plate, it's removed before they can eat.

LOL!

When my boys were much younger we went on a vacation trip to West Texas and New Mexico.

Both boys were notoriously picky eaters, so when we were in this place outside Carlsbad Caverns I was surprised whilst looking at a menu board and my younger son (then about 9) said he'd try some tacos.

I looked at him in total astonishment. "You eat tacos? Since when???"

"Oh, Dad," he said, "I eat them all the time. I like 'em. Whenever I go over to my friend Julian's house, his Mom makes tacos for us. They're great!"

I was awestruck. Amazed. My son had broken out of the pizza and mac'n'cheese mold and had starting eating food! So I ordered him three tacos.

"Dad,", he said when I ordered, "Could you tell them to not put any hot sauce on?" Sure, no problem.

"And could you have them not put on the shredded lettuce. I don't like the lettuce." Um, okay then, sure.

"And no tomatoes, I hate tomatoes." Well, okay...

"And no cheese either, please, okay?"

Sooooo, I said, what you want is ground meat in a taco shell. And nothing else.

"Yeah, right, that's the way I like my tacos. They're great."

Reminds me of my daughter, who is normally very adventurous - she's eaten stuff like octopus, scallops, mussels, etc. since she was two years old. We were puzzled when she started complaining about takeout hamburgers from a local place. She was saying she didn't want that brown stuff on her hamburger. We were a little puzzled because the sauce was more pink than brown, but we ordered her one without sauce. She still complained. Next time, I ordered it without anything - no cheese, sauce, lettuce, etc. And her comment was that she still didn't like the brown stuff on her hamburger. That's when we realized that she was complaining about the meat. What she really wanted was a bun with catsup on it.

Mike

Here's my issue:

While patronizing a very nice bistro in my town I had ordered a steak medium-rare. It came back to me very well done.

After a few bites, the waitperson asks if everything is OK and I tell him the steak was not grilled to my specifications. His response to me was a loud and pushy "Does it taste alright?" At that point, I am not willing to cause a public hugga-mugga in a nice restaurant and embarrass my guests....so I ate it anyway.


Tell me: What can a person do in a situation where the waitstaff isn't willing to accept the fact the cook just plain blew the order? Do I make a fuss? Do I just suck it up...what?

Here's my issue:

While patronizing a very nice bistro in my town I had ordered a steak medium-rare. It came back to me very well done.

After a few bites, the waitperson asks if everything is OK and I tell him the steak was not grilled to my specifications. His response to me was a loud and pushy "Does it taste alright?" At that point, I am not willing to cause a public hugga-mugga in a nice restaurant and embarrass my guests....so I ate it anyway.


Tell me: What can a person do in a situation where the waitstaff isn't willing to accept the fact the cook just plain blew the order? Do I make a fuss? Do I just suck it up...what?

In this instance, Tim....cause the hugga-mugga.

Well, let me restate that: attempt to quietly correct the situation. Then, if that doesn't work, go public on the guy!

You are paying for your steak. You deserve to get it delivered to you exactly as you ordered it. If it's not even close to what you wanted, then you have every right to call the waiter and tell him so, and to get it done the way you want it. And the restaurant should be pretty damned attentive and deferential about it too.

(And at that point, any well run restaurant would be deferential and would eagerly offer some amends; at the very least, a gratis dessert, or after dinner drink, or something trimmed off the tab as an apology.)

If the waiter doesn't give you satisfaction, ask for the manager. If the manager doesn't give satisfaction, then ask who the owner is and how you can contact him/her/it. But if you do that, make sure you follow through.

Here's my issue:
His response to me was a loud and pushy "Does it taste alright?"

There was your opening to tell him that no, it didn't taste alright, it tasted like a tire patch kit, and could you please have the kitchen fire me another one right away, and this time cook it the way I asked for it.

An anti-rant...
I was in a local bistro the other day and ordered a beef tenderloin medium rare, too. It was delivered medium-well, bordering on well done. The waitress came by, asked how things were..All I had to do was show her a slice of beef and say "Medium rare?". Her faced dropped, and she apologized profusely as she quickly went to get me another, the maitre d' came over and apologized, offering us a complimentary (and quite yummy) dessert.
I was happy and the waitstaff got a very nice tip.

The day we were in (Thur) is the chef/owner's day off. Now back to that other question about the relative importance of chef vs. cook....

Rant:

You're at a takeout place. It's lunchtime, so you're in a bit of a hurry. There's a fairly long line ahead of you leading up to the takeout window, maybe 10 minutes or so. There's a huge menu posted on the wall above the window with everything the place serves listed there. You wait and wait. Finally, the two people just ahead of you get up to the window. And, looking up at the menu like she's never seen it before, the first one says, "Oh my goodness, what should I have? Hmmmmm."

Minor peeve:

You're at a coffee place. You have just paid for your brew and you go over to the little table to get some cream or milk in it. Parked there is a guy with his coffee, blocking your access to the table. He puts some sugar in, stirs, and sips a bit. Puts some more sugar in, stirs, sips a bit. Puts some more sugar in, stirs, sips a bit. Puts some cream in, stirs, sips a bit. Puts in some more sugar... etc.

I am often tempted to tap this person on the shoulder to ask, "WHAT, IS THIS THE FIRST %#@#$@ CUP OF COFFEE YOU'VE EVER HAD???!


Mike (Who, yeah, can be a little impatient at times.)

Years ago, I was having my regular Friday steak and french fries at my usual restaurant. All I had to do was enter the place and nod, and they would order my usual.

The french fries came out limp and uncooked in the center, so I returned them. I heard a stream of profanity coming out of the kitchen and loud yells of, "but they floated to the top." Maybe they did, but they were still undone.

A few years ago, I had steak and eggs for breakfast. The eggs must have been pee-wee, because I had never seen such small eggs. (Maybe they were pigeon eggs.) I commented to the waitress that I wasn't sure I could eat all of that great amount of food. And the steak was one of the worst I've ever eaten--just like shoe leather. Of course, the cashier asked how everything was. I told her the eggs were the smallest I had ever seen and the steak was like shoe leather. Her reply after ringing up the sale: "here's your change."

A couple of years ago, I took a friend to a restaurant he had never been to--Le Peep--which is open only for breakfast and lunch. I had always had nothing but superb breakfasts there, with perfectly cooked eggs.

Of course, when we were served our dishes, both our orders had eggs with yolks that were the consistency of hard-boiled. We sent both back. Then they arrived with whites the consistency of water--essentially uncooked. I gave a truthful answer when asked how everything was. Once again the answer was, "here's your change." They really don't hear a thing you say.

About a year ago, some members of my writing group were meeting at Applebee's before each meeting. A woman next to me and I ordered the same thing: barbecued riblets. Her basket came out filled with ribs and fries. Mine came out in a basket that was physically about 1/3 smaller, with a few meatless and short ribs and a few frech fries (it looked like a children's portion) that obviously came from the end of the cut. The woman couldn't eat all of hers and took some home. I had almost nothing to eat. I complained, but the server said, "They're both the same." He was obviously blind. Needless to say, I won't set foot in Applebee's and I let everyone I know what I think of them, which is thumbs down.

Ah, bad restaurant stories.

I was with a friend of mine (she worked for Bocuse) at a restaurant in Beaune for lunch. The menu had nothing suitable for vegetarians, a common thing in France. I asked the waitress if the could do anything for me, and she responded coldly, "Non! Impossible!" This is NOT a common thing in France (perhaps she attended Anthony Bourdain's School of Charm); I find the vast majority of good restaurants outside of Paris to be very accommodating.

I noted that one of the items on the menu was oeufs en meurette, which meant they had eggs. Could the chef perhaps make me an omelette? She responded, "Non!" I sweetly offered to go back to the kitchen to teach the chef how to make an omelette. The look she gave me was priceless. At this point, my friend said to me in English, "OK, Stuart, it's time to go. If you win this argument, there will certainly be some sort of bodily fluid in our food. I don't know which one, but none seem palatable..."

Ah, bad restaurant stories.

I was with a friend of mine (she worked for Bocuse) at a restaurant in Beaune for lunch. The menu had nothing suitable for vegetarians, a common thing in France. I asked the waitress if the could do anything for me, and she responded coldly, "Non! Impossible!" This is NOT a common thing in France (perhaps she attended Anthony Bourdain's School of Charm); I find the vast majority of good restaurants outside of Paris to be very accommodating.

I noted that one of the items on the menu was oeufs en meurette, which meant they had eggs. Could the chef perhaps make me an omelette? She responded, "Non!" I sweetly offered to go back to the kitchen to teach the chef how to make an omelette. The look she gave me was priceless. At this point, my friend said to me in English, "OK, Stuart, it's time to go. If you win this argument, there will certainly be some sort of bodily fluid in our food. I don't know which one, but none seem palatable..."

For some reason, I'm channelling Jack Nicholson in Five Easy Pieces...

Ah, bad restaurant stories.

My favorites:

1. A friend of mine got a piece of the wire fry basket in his Monte Christo at Bennigan's.

2. I had pancakes at a local place that had only been cooked on one side.

3. At the local culinary school restaurant the following conversation. (This one is just funny...not so bad.)

"So...what wine would you recommend to go with the dessert?"

Sommelier-In-Training :"Ummm...well...uuhhh... Okay...look, my mom never let me have dessert growing up...so I don't like sweet things...I'm not sure what to recommend...let me go get some one."

The same night I had ordered a savory crepe appitizer...and got escargot...and the waiter had to read the specials from notes he took off the back of a receipt for blockbuster.

It was a good time for all...but you had to realize these kids were GREEN.

Scott

Oh...and my family are quite the characters when planning a dinner menu.

Wife: Amine intolerance…so foods rich in amines…mushrooms, cured meats, sharp cheese, etc…are out.
Father-In-Law: Won’t eat onions.
Sister-In-Law: Won’t eat mushrooms.
Father: Won’t eat nuts.
Mother: Doesn’t like to eat “rich” foods.

The only answer I have is…to cook a normal meal and let them pick out the stuff they don’t like.

One of these days I vow to come up with a cream/onion/mushroom/nut alfredo sauce..and eat it by myself.

Scott

[quote The menu had nothing suitable for vegetarians, a common thing in France. [/quote]

If we weren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

After a few bites, the waitperson asks if everything is OK and I tell him the steak was not grilled to my specifications. His response to me was a loud and pushy "Does it taste alright?"

That reminds me of an incident that happened when Kristi and I were still dating. We had gone to our favorite restaurant for lunch one day, and the place was admittedly packed. We were finally seated at a back corner booth, and everything started to go downhill from there. Nothing was up to their usual quality, the food was cold when it finally arrived, noone ever came by to refill our drinks, the waitress ignored us everytime we tried to flag her down, we never got a chance to order dessert (which, since this was supposed to be a special occasion really pissed us off), and so on and so forth. So when we left, I left the two pennies that my dad had always taught me was the appropriate tip to show that you thought the service was really bad. Two weeks later we went to the same restaurant, which was not anywhere near as busy, and were seated immediately. But before we could even open the menus the waitress who had ignored and looked down her nose at us so thoroughly on the last visit came up to our table and plunked two pennies down in front of us saying "Here, you obviously need this more than I do". Needless to say, Kristi and I left immediately; and I called to complain to the manager the next day. I don't know if my complaint was the final straw that got her fired or not, but I do know that one of my friends who worked at that restaurant told me a week later that she was no longer on the schedule. Frankly, I hope she left on her own, but if she was fired maybe it made her look at her self a little. Even one word of apology, a simple "I'm sorry I couldn't get back to you sooner, we're really busy today" or "I'm sorry, let me take care of this and I'll be right with you" and she would have gotten the 20% tip I normally leave for decent service; but appearantly that little detail was beyond her.

[David M. Bueker]

My rant is a little different: my wife is a bit of a picky eater. She used to be a lot worse, but the culinary horizons have opened somewhat.

Now we are always very up front with her likes and dislikes. And she has actually tasted virtually everything that is on the "no-go" list, so she's not just writing things off.

I just get sick of reading the posts from people up on their high horses about eating everything with no complaints. Some foods taste terrible to some people. It's no different from wine. We don't expect people to drink wines they do not enjoy, but when it comes to food, the foodie police come out and proclaim thous shalt eat without complaint.

I don't get it. I don't like green bell peppers either. I think they overpower and ruin anything they touch. I'm not interested in eating them anymore.

My wife's list is longer (but honestly not that long...just has a number of sacred foodie items on it), but at least we're honest and up-front about it.

Here's my issue:

While patronizing a very nice bistro in my town I had ordered a steak medium-rare. It came back to me very well done.

After a few bites, the waitperson asks if everything is OK and I tell him the steak was not grilled to my specifications. His response to me was a loud and pushy "Does it taste alright?" At that point, I am not willing to cause a public hugga-mugga in a nice restaurant and embarrass my guests....so I ate it anyway.


Tell me: What can a person do in a situation where the waitstaff isn't willing to accept the fact the cook just plain blew the order? Do I make a fuss? Do I just suck it up...what?

In this instance, Tim....cause the hugga-mugga.

Well, let me restate that: attempt to quietly correct the situation. Then, if that doesn't work, go public on the guy!

You are paying for your steak. You deserve to get it delivered to you exactly as you ordered it. If it's not even close to what you wanted, then you have every right to call the waiter and tell him so, and to get it done the way you want it. And the restaurant should be pretty damned attentive and deferential about it too.

(And at that point, any well run restaurant would be deferential and would eagerly offer some amends; at the very least, a gratis dessert, or after dinner drink, or something trimmed off the tab as an apology.)

If the waiter doesn't give you satisfaction, ask for the manager. If the manager doesn't give satisfaction, then ask who the owner is and how you can contact him/her/it. But if you do that, make sure you follow through.

All of what you say is excellent advice, Hoke.

I guess I'm a bit hesitant when it comes to complaining about the food mainly because I just didn't want to embarass people or appear to be a food snob of some sort. Make sense?

At any rate, I guess what bothered me most is the waitperson didn't even bother to make an offer to do something about the meal especially since it was fairly obvious I wasn't very happy about the situation. Even after he came back later and I had left half of it on the plate...nothing was said or offered.

That really bothered me and I haven't been back since.

Here's my issue:
His response to me was a loud and pushy "Does it taste alright?"

There was your opening to tell him that no, it didn't taste alright, it tasted like a tire patch kit, and could you please have the kitchen fire me another one right away, and this time cook it the way I asked for it.

True enough and I probably should have said something besides, "It's OK...I suppose." But wouldn't that be a signal to the waitperson that things were not right and that something needs to be done about it? Call me spoiled, but isn't that the waitperson's job, in part...that is, to anticipate the needs of his patrons?

Personally, I think it would have been a nice gesture if he would have taken the meal off my bill or, at the very least, given me a credit toward my next visit.

I'm just guessing here, but I figure he was more concerned about his tip than whether or not I was satisfied.

[quote The menu had nothing suitable for vegetarians, a common thing in France.

If we weren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?[/quote]


"If we weren't supposed to eat people, why are they made of meat?"- Jeffrey Dahmer

[David M. Bueker]

I know two sugar freaks. One puts 6-8 packets of sugar into a cup of coffee.

I guess I have to ask why it matters? Why is this even a rant?

I take sugar in my coffee, an amount that you would likely object to. I also like milk or cream in it. It still tastes like coffee, but I need the sugar to counter the bitterness in most coffee that I find very objectionable. Sometimes though, if the coffee is good enough (a rare thing) I will take it black.

Why does it bother you?

Both sugar freaks are friends and I've warned them of the consequences of such much sugar. One was so zoomy from all the sugar he constantly ate that he neglected other food. He recently had an operation for diverticulosis, related to that problem. The other friend, who eats a tremendous of sugar, I've warned about the dangers of Type II diabetes.

My brother, growing up, never ate dinner with the rest of the family. He usually ate pretzels and ice cream for his meal in another room. His current health problems are, I believe, related to his restricted range of diet.

I don't lose any sleep caring about what other people eat. So if you want to consume five pounds of sugar in a cup of coffee, I would find that out of the ordinary but I definitely wouldn't care. (I'd probably mention it on this board, however, if I saw someone doing that.)

BTW, I don't like screw caps, Brussel sprouts, most organ meats, or GWB, but I do like the numbers of replies on this thread. That's what FLDG is all about.