Would you do anything to stop verbal abuse of a waitperson?

Re an upsetting story about a toddler locked in a van in a parking lot, sorry but it's fair to point out that what a Bed, Bath & Beyond store manager did or didn't do about it in no way applies to this thread and how a restaurant manager should deal with a bad-mannered, abusive customer.

Shel, how it applies to this story, is in the way that it points out that sometimes talking to the manager when a problem occurs, is not enough. Sometimes we might need to take further action ourselves, such as calling the police. I would never advocate that we get physically involved unless it might be to save a life.

There could be more to the story.

Maybe the rude customer is a hundred dollar tipper, and the server shuts up and takes it because he or she knows that.
Maybe the customer is known to the staff and is considered eccentric but they love her anyway and put up with the crap.
There could be many reasons, not obvious to someone on the outside looking in, most of which would direct me, were I in your shoes, to MMOB.

There are lines, and once they are crossed, it is the job of the staff to deal with the problem customer, as Chef attests in his above post. Other customers getting involved would only serve to make the situation worse, not better.

I say this as someone who gets verbally abused, often in front of an audience, as a matter of course in my job. I neither need, nor want someone coming to my rescue. I understand that there are different personality types, and some feel the need to assert themselves in this manner. Their money is just as green as anyone's, and spends just as easily.
Your server probably has learned that same lesson.

There could be more to the story.

Maybe the rude customer is a hundred dollar tipper, and the server shuts up and takes it because he or she knows that.
Maybe the customer is known to the staff and is considered eccentric but they love her anyway and put up with the crap.
There could be many reasons, not obvious to someone on the outside looking in, most of which would direct me, were I in your shoes, to MMOB.

There are lines, and once they are crossed, it is the job of the staff to deal with the problem customer, as Chef attests in his above post. Other customers getting involved would only serve to make the situation worse, not better.

I say this as someone who gets verbally abused, often in front of an audience, as a matter of course in my job. I neither need, nor want someone coming to my rescue. I understand that there are different personality types, and some feel the need to assert themselves in this manner. Their money is just as green as anyone's, and spends just as easily.
Your server probably has learned that same lesson.

John,

A guy from the Bronx allows himself to be verbally abused? I'd call that a supreme example of having mellowed

When I was a wine salesman, I had to take the abuse of customers, and only once did I have to tell a shop owner to "get that hand off my shoulder." If I had told my manager, it would have been weeks before I could get that hand removed.

A guy from the Bronx allows himself to be verbally abused? I'd call that a supreme example of having mellowed

When I was a wine salesman, I had to take the abuse of customers, and only once did I have to tell a shop owner to "get that hand off my shoulder." If I had told my manager, it would have been weeks before I could get that hand removed.

Only on my terms, Thomas. If you've sold to restaurant operators, you know what I'm talking about. For the most part, they live in misery - they're stuck in one place, often for 12 or more hours. Staff doesn't show, plumbing blows out, refrigeration goes down, business stinks, and prices are always going up. One of the few joys they get is kicking the rep around for a few minutes a week.
Someone who denies them that little pleasure might feel good about his principles, but not so good about his commission check.

I say this somewhat TIC, but there's a nugget of truth within. The seasoned salesperson knows what to take, and when to push back. It's always about earning respect. And to get back to the original topic, a server is really a salesperson, and getting chewed out is part of the learning curve.

To draw a finer point, what if one of us witnessed an adult abusing a child? Would we do SOMETHING

You bet - leave the restaurant and wonder if I was slipping not to have spotted the presence of a child earlier.

But back to the original question, why not attend on the Sunday night armed with a video camera and start recording if and when the wicked bitch of the west starts her abuse shtick. At the least you'll have an entertaining video to post on youtube (remember to send us the url) and at best you will either put the she-bitch off her feed, or could forward the video to the upper management for action.

The seasoned salesperson knows what to take, and when to push back. It's always about earning respect. And to get back to the original topic, a server is really a salesperson, and getting chewed out is part of the learning curve.

Exactly. That's why I agree with you that there could be extenuating circumstances behind the waiter allowing the customer the freedom to abuse, which is why, if one is annoyed by the situation, the best thing to do is talk to the manager.

Incidentally, the guy who put his hand on my shoulder brought me to the push back point, but only verbally--you know, that threatening NooYawkese that makes the other think you may be crazy...