Food Funnies

My first book which features wine labels was titled Marilyn Merlot and the Naked Grape which are two of the labels in the book. The publisher's marketing department was responsible for the title. Apparently they expected the book to appear on the results for anyone Googling Marilyn Naked

Those days wine labels had to be approved by BAFT which were very strict on rejecting any label of a sexual or rude nature.

Stu Pedasso got through I suppose because BATF didn't say the name out loud. It came with an amusing booklet describing how he introduced bullfrogs into his organic vineyard to eat pests, but thy multiplied and made such a racket that he introduced alligators to eat the bullfrogs, meanwhile deer were eating grape so he introduced 10ft long Indonesian monitor lizards to eat the deer and alligators.

At one time Fat Bastard was the biggest selling French Chardonnay in the USA but the BATF didn't like the name. The producers said it was the real name of the hippopotamus shown on the label and so it got through. Actually the name was a reference to the Grand Cru Burgundy Batard-Montrachet.

There seems to be quite a history of rude wine names, Peter. Starting with Pisse-Dru, and Montrecul in France. Some of them are just downright rude for the purpose of being offensive but that sot of thing probably results in sale of a few joke bottles but nota general rush on a particular wine.

I like the ones that quip on the name of real wines like Goats Do Roam (Cotes du Rhone) from South Africa and Cats Pee on a Gooseberry Bush (New Zealand) I offer 'Pitbull' to any producers of Picpoul, free of charge.

Those inclined to investigate further can look at https://www.thedrinksbusiness.com/2012/ ... nd-labels/

I have some joke nicknames for some wines/wineries/regions:

Gigundous (Gigondas)
Lunch Bags (Chateau Lynch-Bages)
Five Seepages (Chateau St. Jean's Cinq Cepages)

-Paul W.

I like the ones that quip on the name of real wines like Goats Do Roam (Cotes du Rhone) from South Africa and Cats Pee on a Gooseberry Bush (New Zealand) I offer 'Pitbull' to any producers of Picpoul, free of charge./

Goats Do Roam comes from Fairview winery that also keeps goats, has a goat tower, and is famous for its goats cheese, so much so that I've met South Africans who were really surprised to learn Fairview also made wine.

The French Embassy made a fuss about GdR, which gave the new wine publicity, so did Fairview's owner who drove a tractor with a trailer of goat droppings to the embassy as I recall. GdR was followed by a range of goat named wines, such as Bored Doe, Goat Roti and Goat Door Chardonnay

The owner of Fairview - Charles Back - is a real wine pioneer. He was the first to plant several varieties new to South Africa, he saw the potential of Swartland, starting a new winery there - Spice Route- to make Swartland wines and employing Eben Sadie in his first job as winemaker. Sadie later became a superstar of Cape wines.

Cats Pee on a Gooseberry Bush is a name taken from a description of NZ Sauvignon Blanc given by Oz Clarke on BBC TV food & drink programme.

It was too racy for the BATF so in the USA was labelled as Cats Phee on a Gooseberry Bush

Was it Oz Clarke or Jancis Robinson who first popularized the "cat's pee on a gooseberry bush" descriptor for sauvignon blanc? Jancis uses it in her 1986 book Vines, Grapes, and Wines.

-Paul W.

I have a fridge magnet and was looking for another one for a friend but couldn't find one.

It says "Wine tasting is the bacon in the breakfast of life"

If anyone comes across them, let me know!

Was it Oz Clarke or Jancis Robinson who first popularized the "cat's pee on a gooseberry bush"

It was definitely Oz who popularised it, as he said it on national TV. If Jancis wrote it first, only a few geeks (such as me) had the book. I believe it's Oz's phrase

That cartoon reminds me of the scene in the TV version of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe where Arthur Dent has a conversation with the Dish of the Day.

-Paul W.

That one would get me thrown right through that window.

The one before reminds me of my Dad, who said that a steak was overdone if it didn't go "Moo!" when he put the fork to it.

The one before reminds me of my Dad, who said that a steak was overdone if it didn't go "Moo!" when he put the fork to it.

Interesting that I have known people of similar taste about rare meat, that nonetheless would never even taste steak tartare - thought it was barbaric or something....

Steak tartare was mentioned in a book on Parasitology that I read. Apparently steak tartare was all the rage with New York high-fashion models for a while. The fad was accompanied by a rash of tapeworm infections. The book pointed out that it's a tricky bit of patient management to tell a model that she has come down with something as unglamorous as a tapeworm.

You really, really, really have to be sure of the provenence of the beef when making steak tartare and related dishes (one of the most incendiary Thai dishes I ever had was a larb nur [beef salad] made using chopped raw beef).

-Paul W.