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Intrepid Adventures in the USA

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Bill Spohn

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Intrepid Adventures in the USA

by Bill Spohn » Mon May 04, 2009 9:52 am

Living near the international border in Vancouver, I get down to the US fairly frequently, although often only once or twice a year for board meetings of a charitable organization that I serve with.

This last week, I was down for a half week, although not deep down - only to Everett WA for a conference.

It started out poorly (one of the reasons I try not to cross the border these days) with the ever friendly customs agents at the border, who seemed to thnk that the fact we had no written/printed confirmation of our alleged reservation at the Everett Holiday Inn smacked of possible terrorism. My explanation that we happened to know exactly where it was located and had talked to the motel the night before seemed to make no impression on them. No wonder many friends who have spent a lot of time in the US visiting over many decades no longer have the stomach to endure the bureaucratic idiocies any more. OTOH, you used to have to go to Eastern Europe to get this sort of thing, so if it is your thing, it is now much more convenient. :roll:

Lots of fun meeting internet friends in person and listening (and trying to place) accents from Texas to Denmark. The Northwestern rendering of "Uh-huh" in various rising or flat intonations is something we are used to in Washington State, but it is fun hearing people from further afeild and trying to place them.

What we had forgotten was the really bad food you get at some highway side motels, even ones with supposed decent restaurants attached. After postponing palate shock for a day by hitting a really nice local restaurant on the pier to wathc the sunset on Wednesday evening, we had breakfast at the motel the next morning.

Bacon was plentiful and recognizable, some sort of meat patty was reasonaby recognizable, but it got a bit fuzzy from there. There was bread that looked a lot like French toast, but (I rely on my wife for this) tasted like some sort of fried cardboard, and what was plainly intended to be scrambled eggs but which were probably some sort of processed homogenized egg-food. Fortunately I like bacon and the wife survived on fresh fruit.

Tried the same in house restaurant for dinner (too tired to work out a foray into the great outdoors, and my Googling of the adjacent Hunan Palace revealed specific and potentially horrifying details about that establishment). Ordered something called a BBQ beef au jus. What came were two fast fried patties stuffed into hunks of some sort of bread roll, and salty fries that looked like they got about 4 out of each potato. And then the waiter plonks down a cup of something, saying "Here's your au jus" although he pronounced it more like Aw Jews. My effort to explain that it wasn't called 'aw jews' but simply 'jus' was overshadowed by the answer to my request about it's origin ("I think they have a big jug of it in the back') followed by my request for its speedy removal and disposal.

We realized that we were locked into a food loop we couldn't get out of, confirmed by my attempted consumption of what purported to be slices of pork at the next lunch, quickly abandoned by me as being prematurely fosslized, and the next night when we had to endure the 'banquet'.

My wife had chosen a salmon dinner, which turned out ot be very wise - as long as it smells OK, it probably is OK. I dared the chicken, which appeared to have been crafted from some sort of premade breaded chicken cutlet, probably nuked and then some tomato stuff (close as I can get for a description) was ladled over it. The veg was frozen chopped up stuff as seen in Costco in those large freezer bags. But the piece de (my) resistance was the so called (by the waiter - I'd had to ask) risotto. I asked She-who-must-be-obeyed if risotto was really intended to come off the plate in one hardened lump when you tried to sample a single fork full. Seriously!

When one of our table mates (from Pennsylvania) opined that this constituted 'pretty good grub (at the time they were eating and I was regarding with distrust a sort of cheesecake dessert that looked as if it would never require refrigeration as it was proof against any insect except maybe a termite and surely contained no actual milk products) it caused me to wonder about the level of food interest in the US and Canada.

We are probably by any account all foodies here and would search out and enjoy decent fare wherever we were, but do others' experiences match mine with motel food? This place would be put to shame by any self respecting Dennys, and as they often coexist you have to wonder why anyone would eat at the motels. If we'd had a Denny's instead of the Ptomaine...er Hunan Palace next door, I'd have been out of there in a second.


Anyway, it was a great half week, getting to meet people from all over that had a shared interest (Rhododendrons in this case). I just wondered if this rare (for me) experience with motel food might be an exception, or the rule.

Denny's all the way from now on, whenever we can't find an interesting local cafe.
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Carl Eppig

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Re: Intrepid Adventures in the USA

by Carl Eppig » Mon May 04, 2009 10:25 am

Motel restaurants are for tourists of whatever stripe, and banquets are not for food enjoyment, nor are most wedding receptions. Have to admit we've been served some Canadian cardboard too. :wink:
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Re: Intrepid Adventures in the USA

by Dave R » Mon May 04, 2009 11:35 am

Carl Eppig wrote: Have to admit we've been served some Canadian cardboard too. :wink:


When I was a kid, every other summer my Dad and Uncle would take us up to Canada to go fishing. When we would eat in one of the restaurants it was some of the most shit awful food one could imagine. And that was when we were kids and did not even have any type of refined palate. Canada has us checkmated when it comes to dreadful food.
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Re: Intrepid Adventures in the USA

by Bill Spohn » Mon May 04, 2009 11:52 am

Yes, I don't think either country has a lead on the other, they are probably both equally horrid. I guess I just never eat at big motels and was appalled at the low level of food available.

Makes me (shudder) value consistent if mediocre sources like the big chains. Pull into any Dennys for breakfast, get a Grand Slam, hand the pancakes to SWMBO, I get the eggs and protein and away you go, without any gag reflex being involved.
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Re: Intrepid Adventures in the USA

by Alan Wolfe » Mon May 04, 2009 12:11 pm

Similar experience here. I travel o'night maybe a dozen times a year, and avoid motel restaurants like the plague. In my experience you are better off with Appleby's or Outback.
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Re: Intrepid Adventures in the USA

by Bob Hower » Mon May 04, 2009 12:24 pm

Good story Bill. If Denny's was a step up from this place it must have been every bit as awful as you describe. I see Denny's as a last resort, total mediocrity. My go to road food chain nowadays is Cracker Barrel. It was nearly impossible for me to warm up to them at first, just because of the damn rocking chairs and the phony country store you have to deal with before you get to the restaurant area, but the food really is pretty good, the service is always fast and friendly, and the prices can't be beaten. I now carry a Cracker Barrel map with me. BTW I do love it when "au jus" is used as a noun.
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Re: Intrepid Adventures in the USA

by Dave R » Mon May 04, 2009 12:40 pm

Bob Hower wrote:My go to road food chain nowadays is Cracker Barrel.


I thought Stuckey's was the chain of choice down there. :wink:
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Re: Intrepid Adventures in the USA

by Bill Spohn » Mon May 04, 2009 12:48 pm

Bob Hower wrote:Good story Bill. If Denny's was a step up from this place it must have been every bit as awful as you describe. I see Denny's as a last resort, total mediocrity.


I didn't even describe the Sunday breakfast special, which consisted of everything you get on weekdays, including the cardboard French toast (hey - did you guys call it 'Freedom Toast' or something in the period you were feuding with said country?) PLUS squishy biscuits and what appeared to be congealed vomit, but was described to me by the corporate minion waiting on us as 'countrey gravy' (gack!)
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Re: Intrepid Adventures in the USA

by Bob Hower » Mon May 04, 2009 1:09 pm

I do hope you complained. You never know. It might just do some good. There's really no excuse for food that bad.
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Re: Intrepid Adventures in the USA

by Bill Spohn » Mon May 04, 2009 1:38 pm

Bob Hower wrote:I do hope you complained. You never know. It might just do some good. There's really no excuse for food that bad.


While I have no problem answering extensively and honestly the innocent questions asked by servers or maitre d's "How was you meal tonight?" (they never really WANT an answer, but I give it anyway) I just didn't have the heart to start up with these guys, who were attentive and nice service people.

Now that you mention it, I shall think about sending a letter to head office, but I doubt it would accomplish anything.

If anyone had said that I'd finish my stay yearning for fare the equivalent of Dennys.....

We did rely on our usual method of hitting the QFC for a bunch of bottles of wine, some cold cuts and cheese etc. and eating several picnic type meals over a bottle of wine in our room. If there had only been something other than the Hunan Horror within walking distance.....

Read the review I found HERE http://www.yelp.com/biz/hunan-palace-everett
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Re: Intrepid Adventures in the USA

by ChefJCarey » Mon May 04, 2009 2:42 pm

I didn't even describe the Sunday breakfast special, which consisted of everything you get on weekdays, including the cardboard French toast (hey - did you guys call it 'Freedom Toast' or something in the period you were feuding with said country?) PLUS squishy biscuits and what appeared to be congealed vomit, but was described to me by the corporate minion waiting on us as 'countrey gravy' (gack!)


You know there are many of us who are terminally embarrassed by what you call "you guys".
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Re: Intrepid Adventures in the USA

by Shel T » Mon May 04, 2009 8:15 pm

Hey bill, with all due respect, doesn't sound like you tried very hard, and if this is a regular destination place, probably worth a little effort to find out what's available.
In fact, Everett has a population of over 100,000 and tons of restos from which to choose. Here's one of many links to them.
http://travel.yahoo.com/p-travelguide-6 ... taurants-i
I think all of these sound better than the Hunan Palace!
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Re: Intrepid Adventures in the USA

by Bill Spohn » Mon May 04, 2009 8:23 pm

Shel T wrote:Hey bill, with all due respect, doesn't sound like you tried very hard, and if this is a regular destination place, probably worth a little effort to find out what's available.


No, not a regular destination (not much to go there for) and we were busy all day with either bus trips or seminars, so straying far from the motel after all that ended was not something we did more than the first night.

My comment wasn't that we couldn't have found better in the town (although the motel was a block from the I-5 and not near much in the way of decent food), but that a huge motel chain could exist and offer such inferior fare.
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Re: Intrepid Adventures in the USA

by Shel T » Mon May 04, 2009 8:35 pm

Bill Spohn wrote:
Shel T wrote:Hey bill, with all due respect, doesn't sound like you tried very hard, and if this is a regular destination place, probably worth a little effort to find out what's available.


No, not a regular destination (not much to go there for) and we were busy all day with either bus trips or seminars, so straying far from the motel after all that ended was not something we did more than the first night.

My comment wasn't that we couldn't have found better in the town (although the motel was a block from the I-5 and not near much in the way of decent food), but that a huge motel chain could exist and offer such inferior fare.

Don't know which motel chain you're referring to and I just learned something as wasn't aware that any motel chain offered grub or had restos of their own.
Then again Bill, yeah I know this sounds a little snobby, you're a lawyer, charge more and stay at nicer places!
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Re: Intrepid Adventures in the USA

by Bill Spohn » Mon May 04, 2009 9:20 pm

Shel T wrote:Don't know which motel chain you're referring to and I just learned something as wasn't aware that any motel chain offered grub or had restos of their own.
Then again Bill, yeah I know this sounds a little snobby, you're a lawyer, charge more and stay at nicer places!


1 - this was a Holiday Inn - nice rooms, nice people, crap food.

2 - the convention was located there, so lodging elsewhere would have been undesirable.

3 - very unlawyerlike, I know, but I always chage what a service is worth and I don't charge more because a client is rich, a jerk, or has any other disadvantages as a client. :mrgreen:
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Re: Intrepid Adventures in the USA

by Robert Reynolds » Mon May 04, 2009 9:38 pm

Dave R wrote:
Bob Hower wrote:My go to road food chain nowadays is Cracker Barrel.


I thought Stuckey's was the chain of choice down there. :wink:

Cracker Barrel is mine and Gail's stop of choice when on the road, precisely because it's a consistently decent chain - breakfast, lunch or supper - that serves what we grew up eating. I've been known to Google the nearest one on my Crackberry when it gets near to mealtime.
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Re: Intrepid Adventures in the USA

by Shel T » Tue May 05, 2009 3:48 am

Re Holiday Inn
Bill, I never think of them as motels, now Motel 6 is a different story! So when in doubt, hit google and from what I scanned, they call themselves a 'hotel' chain and are now also managing third party properties under license, some of which are called "Holiday Inn", some not. The one in Everett is one of these.
I've stayed in Holiday Inns from time to time and although would not characterize their restaurants as 'gourmet', none descended into the realms of the garbage you described.
My personal quirk about hotels is that I almost never dine in the hotel resto no matter how highly rated it is and prefer to explore other dining options wherever I am.
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Re: Intrepid Adventures in the USA

by Bill Spohn » Tue May 05, 2009 9:04 am

Shel T wrote:Re Holiday Inn
Bill, I never think of them as motels, now Motel 6 is a different story!


I think you are right as far as the terminology. Ironic as there has been a real change in hotel restaurants since the 1980s and many excellent restaurants are located in major hotels today. Just not the one I stayed at..... :cry:
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Re: Intrepid Adventures in the USA

by Jenise » Tue May 05, 2009 1:14 pm

Many of us well-travelled, well-fed Americans have long noted that hotel restaurants that exist only to feed captive conventioneers or travelling salesmen (vs. great restaurants that happen to be located IN a hotel, though that's primarily not something found outside of New York or Las Vegas) are typically underperformers. There won't be a real chef on the premesis, just cooks trained to convert frozen and prepackaged, premixed ingredients into the hot food understood by your average Joe. Your experience sounds worse than usual--typically the one meal a place like this could/should get right because it's basically so simple and universally expected is the short-order breakfast stuff like scrambled eggs. Gourmet omelettes no, but scrambled or fried eggs, yes.

Can't believe you kept going back for more, though. Captive or not. :)
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Re: Intrepid Adventures in the USA

by Bill Spohn » Tue May 05, 2009 1:37 pm

Jenise wrote:Can't believe you kept going back for more, though. Captive or not. :)


Aside from needing to be at the hotel for conference purposes, by the time we finished the day's seminars/events, we were too tired to stray far - this particular hotel seems to be located in a black hole where there are no decent fooderies within a reasonable distance. In retrospect, we should probably have dragged our fatigued carcasses to a restaurant no matter how far away!

Given that we had already signed up for one dinner and a banquet, there was only one evening that we weren't covered. I suppose that abandoning the non-banquet dinner and fleeing to someplace else would have been preferable, but it was almost like watching a slow motion train wreck. We couldn't believe that the dinner could possibly be as bad as the 'free' breakfast, and then we couldn't believe that a banquet room dinner, (and the next night, a banquet) could possibly be as bad as the dinner we'd been offered the previous night.....

I'll tell you, the lunch we ate in the room made from day old baguette and packaged cheese and cold cuts (and a bottle of Ravenswood Cabernet) far exceeded anything the Holiday in was capable of doing!
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Re: Intrepid Adventures in the USA

by Mike Filigenzi » Wed May 06, 2009 1:50 am

I would complain to the conference organizers. They probably couldn't have known the restaurant would be that bad but they need to know it now. And they might be reminded that putting a conference in an area that offers at least a couple of dining options is not a bad idea.
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Re: Intrepid Adventures in the USA

by Chris » Wed May 06, 2009 3:44 am

That Hunan place is about 5 miles from the Everett Trader Joe's, which was the closest TJ's we had until Bellingham opened up. I see a Joe's is going to open soon in Huntington Harbor, CA.
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Re: Intrepid Adventures in the USA

by Bill Spohn » Wed May 06, 2009 9:22 am

Mike, good suggestion.

Chris, what is Trader Joes? We don't have them in Canada. I see from the net that it is a grocery chain - is it special somehow? We did alright with the QFC we found.
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Re: Intrepid Adventures in the USA

by Jenise » Wed May 06, 2009 12:28 pm

Chris wrote:That Hunan place is about 5 miles from the Everett Trader Joe's, which was the closest TJ's we had until Bellingham opened up. I see a Joe's is going to open soon in Huntington Harbor, CA.


Yeah, two blocks from my old house.
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