Netscape Forum Poll: May your children taste wine at home?

[Robin Garr]

Most wine lovers believe that exposing children to wine at home with meals, under parental supervision, is the surest and best way to raise them with healthy attitudes about alcohol. But some parents take a stricter line, and in some parts of the world, remarkably, legal issues may even apply. You don't have to be a parent to express your opinion in this week's poll:

<b>Click here to vote!</b>

(You don't have to register with Netscape or log in to vote; feel free to post comments in either forum.

Of course, but I suspect that most of us who frequent WLDG would tend to answer in the affirmative. My kids get to smell the wine and often get to dip their fingers and "taste" it. When I ask them, "So, what do you think?", they answer back, "It tastes like...wine."

[James Roscoe]

We are a firm yes here. We have raised at least one wine lover and are working on a second. The third is iffy.

[David M. Bueker]

While they are not my kids, a freind's children do get to do the dip the finger and taste thing.

The funny thing though was when I was helping their mom with a science lesson. Mom was trying to prompt them to name our home galaxy, and one of her clues was "What do you drink that's white?" The oldest child answered ""Wine!"

[Robin Garr]

I suspect that most of us who frequent WLDG would tend to answer in the affirmative.

I would think so too, Shaji, but the last time we ran this poll, a small but significant minority voted "no," and I notice we've already got two "no" votes posted. I wish they'd jump in with a comment, as I'd like to hear the thinking behind the opposing view. Frankly, I can't think of a good reason, but then, I think the horrors of under-age drinking in general are way over-hyped in an era when there are so many more serious things for people to worry about.

I voted undecided. I do not have kids and have not thought the issue completely through. But certainly I think anyone who has a history of alcoholism in their family must tread this issue carefully. If I understand the issue correctly, there are all sorts of genetic traits that are passed along which make it more likely that alcohol will be a much more addictive substance for folks with those traits than for most members of the population. Traits as simple as one's ability to detect bitterness--those who have the least ability to detect bitterness are more likely to be alcoholics.

Knowing that I might be dealing with a kid who is predisposed to find alcohol highly addictive (and having met people who first formed an addiction for alcohol when they were 10 or 11 years old) would make me cautious. And it might turn out that a careful, considered integration of socially-appropriate amounts of alcohol in the family setting as the child grows may be the best strategy. And certainly I don't believe that just pretending that alcohol does not exist and then sending the kid off to university (where the parent has zero control over the environment and the concomitant lessons learned) would be better. I would want the kid's first experiences with alcohol (and there will be first experiences sooner or later) to be at home, but I would also really want the kid to be old enough to be cognizant and well-equipped emotionally and intellectually to deal with what might be a very powerful reaction to the stuff. But sometimes I think the argument that 'making it the forbidden fruit' is the problem misses the fact that there is a bit of a tradeoff--you don't want to make it more attractive and alluring by prohibiting it, but I also want the kid to only have to deal with what they can handle. When I tried alcohol as a kid, my reaction was yuck. Result: no problem. But what if it hadn't tasted bitter and I had a predisposition for it to be highly addictive? I'm not sure, but I know it would make me especially cautious in considering how and when alcohol would be introduced for a child.

[Robin Garr]

I voted undecided. I do not have kids and have not thought the issue completely through. But certainly I think anyone who has a history of alcoholism in their family must tread this issue carefully.

Interesting points, Keith. Thanks for a substantive addition to the discussion.

With the caveat that I don't have kids, I would still answer in the affirmative - simply because I believe strongly that the family dinner table is the best place for youngsters to see wine being enjoyed in moderation and in concert with food, for wine not only is food, but accompaniment to it.

I think that in North America we at least need to develop a culture of drink appreciation, whereby alcoholic beverages aren't treated as something to chug down quickly and mindlessly, as in some kind of inane contest, but something to think about and potentially (as we here do anyway) write about. Binge drinking and thoughtful imbibing are really quite opposite ends of the spectrum. I vote for changing the underlying causes of the mentality that facilitates hard/binge drinking.

I'm fortunate in that I never partook of "college drinking" - I saw the behaviour but thought it so mindless that in those days I pretty much was an abstainer. It was the health aspects of quality wines and beers that actually got me interested in taking up the appreciation of these beverages about a decade ago.

When they were children, they could.

Now that they are adults, they still can. Same limits though. The only thing that has changed is as their body mass moved up their portions got greater.

That, and they started appreciating----and requesting---the good stuff.

After Bar-Mitzvah (13years old) they can taste, from my glass, only very special wines on special occasions. At 16, they can taste, from my glass, any wine I drink. At 18, they can have a glass of wine with dinner IF they are not going out afterward. My 20 (almost 21 year old) is very interested in learning about wines, my 17 year old likes champaign, and my 14 year old son wants to learn about wines because he likes to cook and sees the thought that I put into being such a geek.

Both my daughters who are now of driving age are automatically assumed to be the designated drivers since binge drinking is rampant among teens now and they don't drink in public. I have repeatedly emphasized the tragic consequences of binge drinking and drinking/driving, as well as the nasty consequences on young bodies of alcohol excess. For now, it seems that the conflicting messages of enjoy wine with dinner/don't get smashed with your friends are being understood. With kids, I can only go day to day but so far, I'm pleased.

My 14 year old son has been exposed to binge drinking among his peers as well - so far he has resisted the peer pressure. I've convinced him that people who are comfortable with themselves do not need to get smashed to have a good time. This has created difficulties for him as he tells me he simply can't have a party at our house if there can be no alcohol. We have told him so be it. And still somehow friends come to our house to watch movies, or have me cook for them or to just hang out. I have no idea if he'll be able to resist the temptation as he goes along, boys seem naturally more self destructive than girls sometime, but he does already recognize that the stuff I drink tastes a helluva lot better than the stuff his friends do.

Being a parent these days is hard. You don't get away with one conversation on such a topic. It's a constant battle to explain the subtleties and complexities, exert influence and maintain discipline. And this is only one minefield that needs constant traversal. I certainly haven't mastered it and sometimes I just want to throw up my hands and say fine - do whatever you want - I'm tired of constantly being the bad guy. So we do the best we can with the information we have.

Anybody who says they have THE answer is kidding themselves, don't have kids, or is trying to sell a book. Run - don't walk away from that person before they really mess things up.

[James Roscoe]

Howard, I have had a similar experience with my three daughters. My oldest is 23 and is really starting into the wine world with her boyfriend who works for a distributor in SC. My 17 year old has the best nose of anyone I know and avoids all the stupid stuff of her peers. The 15 year old is like your son, more of a chef type than a wine type per say, but is mildly interested. Her group of friends is also clean. We are fortunate. I also think our kids know that the stuff mom and dad drink is better than the dreck the kids drink and if they want a taste, just ask.