I was at a local grocer yesterday. Two ladies were wandering the wine department looking for something European in particular but didn't seem to know a lot about wine. There was no one around so I asked if I could help. Turns out they wanted, of all the geeky things, an Austrian Gruner Veltliner.
At precisely that moment the apparent new wine guy, a thick blonde with a Fu Man Chu moustache whose existence I was previously unaware of, magically appeared, as did a store employee who has contributed to that department but isn't a quote-unquote wine steward.
They both confirmed there were NO Austrian wines in the store. I said, "That's a crime," and then mentioned that there's a fantastic gruner being made here in Washington by a winery called Savage Grace. "In fact," I said, "I just bought another bottle last week. They carry it at Seifert & Jones in downtown Bellingham." To be helpful but admittedly just as much to shame the two employees, I added that Seifert and the two Food Coops both have Austrian Gruners in stock.
At this moment Fu Man Chu walks a few feet away and returns with a smug "There, I fixed it!" look and hands me a bottle of bubbly called 'Sauvage', proving only that the entire conversation so far had been totally over his head. But I decide not to out him, and instead turned the bottle over and seeing the name "Gruet Family" on the back, asked if this was the Gruets of New Mexico.
"No," he said, "it's Methode Champenoise."
