First things first. It had a good long cork. I mean, a really long cork. No. Even longer than that. Like: "Why is this cork so long?" I wondered as the Screwpull kept Screwpulling. "Do they own stock in Portugal?" That long.
It turns out the cork is that long in order to be able to PRINT THE ENTIRE BACK LABEL ON IT. Check this out, this is verbatim what scrolls from side to side around the entire thing (pardon me while I don my jeweler's loupe so I can read the 2-pixel high font):
"RavinesWine.com
13 HD
Ravines Wine Cellars is
located on the glacier-carved
hillsides of the beautiful
Finger Lakes region of
upstate New York.
We are an artisan winery
dedicated to the craft of fine
European-style winemaking."
And then........
It repeats! All of the above was on just half a cork!
Holy angels dancing on the head of a pin, Batman. Are these the same guys who do those amazing rice grain sculptures at county fairs? Man.
Sadly, the cork was the most interesting and impressive thing about the bottle. The wine itself...I may never know. Bad bottle. Hardly any color, brown rim, tart...she's dead, Jim. Shame - I always root for Finger Lakes wines when I get them. Go, Mudville 9!
Oh well. At least I can say it was a real corker
