And I am willing to let you get in on an amazing opportunity. You can be an early investor in this amazing entrepreneurial idea. Make history while you're making money!
I will be coming out with a new product that will set an entirely new trend in wine. It will rock the wine world on its foundations.
Ready?
First there was "Sustainable Agriculture". Then there was "Organic Wine". Then there was "Biodynamic Wine". Then there was "Natural Wine" (whatever the hell that is, since no one has ever defined it or agreed on what it means). The next and wholely predictable but nevertheless genius step, the inevitable progression, is now here"
Here it is: Homeopathic Wine.
No, seriously; think about it. It's a winner no matter which direction you're looking at it.
First, production: El cheapo grande and simple. Just take a huge stainless steel tank and vaccinate it with wine---say one drop of wine for every 100,000 gallons. Bottle it up and there you go: homeopathic wine.
Sales and Marketing: What a golden opportunity. You can pitch this to wine geeks, who'll try just about anything at least once, if only so they can scoff about and deliver well-reasoned treatises on why it's not any good. Heck, Otto Nieminen alone would generate tons of rants, everyone of which would make people more likely to try the stuff to see what all the fuss was about.
You can pitch it to the myriad of life-style health-support vitamin stores, whose customers buy enthusiastically buy any.cockamamie theory, the more over-priced the better. I mean, hey, you pull some weeds, stuff 'em in a bottle and make up some unverifiable crap about how they reinforce your immunity system or promote good bacteria in your appendix, or restore whatever it was the appendix did for those people who don't have an appendix anymore, and Voila!: slap a $14.99 price tag on that bottle of weeds and it will be the next craze. St. John's Wort? Old news.
Best of all, with only drop of actual wine in the vat, we can sell this stuff in the non-alcoholic section and in grocery stores and on the shelves of the convenience stores, right next to the 5 Hour Energy bottles.
The next step, of course, would be to get some leftover or reject wine from some high-dollar cult wines, like Screaming Eagle or something, and put that celebrity status on the bottle. Even with their prices, we could afford it, what with only one drop for every 100.000 gallons.
And then, it should go without saying, we come out with the "Extra-Strength" version---two drops of wine, but for double the price per bottle.
So who wants in on this. I'm standing by to here from you guys, with my yellow ruled note pad and haphazardly functioning Bic ballpoint pen ready to put you name on the list!