Worst excuse for returning a bottle of wine?

[Jenise]

This might be it.

Returned a corked bottle of wine to Costco on Friday. The clerk asked me what was wrong with it, and when "corked" didn't ring any bells I briefly explained how it occurs, no big deal/happens often enough, just wanted my $25 back. He said, "No problem, you clearly know what you're doing and it's a nearly full bottle. Makes sense. Not like the guy yesterday who returned a bottle that had less than a half inch left in it. When I asked him why he was returning it, he said 'Because it gave me a headache.' "

!!!

Jenise, unless you've worked in retail, you have no concept of how inane the reasons for returning can be.

My personal favorite was a guy in Dallas who came into my store. Wealthy, but cheap: I'm sure you know the type, sometimes known as "all hat and no cattle". Lots of them in Texas. Had to provide sparkling wine for a family occasion, but didn't want to spend too much as they were "mostly relatives".

Looked at Champagne, but said it was too expensive. Showed him a Jura sparkling (made primarily of Chasselas and Chardonnay) that had a fancy label, but of course didn't say Champagne. He said, "Okay, that looks French enough and it's only ten bucks. I'll take a case."

He came back in a week later and said, "Hey, I want a refund on that case of sparkling you sold me!" I said we wanted all of our customers to be happy if possible, and if he wanted to return what was left of the case, I'd happily refund that money. He said, "No, I want the refund for the whole case!."

Sighing, I asked where the case was. He said, "Oh, we drank it all. The party got most of it, and I drank the last couple of bottles myself."

I politely asked if he thought it was fair to consume an entire case of wine then ask for a refund. He said, "Well, sure. I didn't like it as much as I thought I should, so I think I should get my money back."

I told him there was a competitive wine store down the street, gave him the address, and suggested perhaps he should shop there in the future.

How about "I decided I didn't like the look of the label".

Okay, So I never actually seen this happen, but I wouldn't put it past someone...

Jeff

How about "I decided I didn't like the look of the label".

Okay, So I never actually seen this happen, but I wouldn't put it past someone...

Jeff

Jeff, I don't think that's so stupid. The label says something about the taste of the man/woman who is responsible for the contents of the bottle. Some labels put me off buying wines. OK, if I were put off by a label of an unfamiliar wine in a restaurant, I'd stop the sommelier from opening the bottle; if it comes already opened, that's poor wine service.

My son, when he worked in a London restaurant, once had a customer who sent back a bottle of high end claret on the grounds that a fragment of cork in the glass made the wine corked .

How about "I decided I didn't like the look of the label".

Okay, So I never actually seen this happen, but I wouldn't put it past someone...

Jeff

Jeff, I don't think that's so stupid. The label says something about the taste of the man/woman who is responsible for the contents of the bottle. Some labels put me off buying wines. OK, if I were put off by a label of an unfamiliar wine in a restaurant, I'd stop the sommelier from opening the bottle; if it comes already opened, that's poor wine service.

Hi Tim,

I was referring more to returning a bottle you purchased yourself for home consumption.

Jeff

I was told about a guy who returned an empty bottle when he was told it was Pinot Noir after he had consumed it. He had wanted Pinot Grigio, but apparently didn't know the difference.

A little different kind of story, but here it is:

I was once at an offline, I think the theme was 1994 Bordeaux. There were about 10 of us there. One bottle was corked. But the wine had gotten around most of the table before word got out, so the bottle was pretty much empty. Everyone dumped their pour into a dump bucket and the evening moved on.

At the end of the night the guy who brought the corked bottle started pouring a dump bucket back into his bottle (of course spilling wine everywhere) so that he could take the bottle back to wherever he'd bought it years before. Ignoring the fact that whatever he was pouring back into the bottle was a mix of all of the wines of the evening. Ignoring the fact that much of it had been in people's mouths. Ignoring the fact that he was going to get his money back and therefore had contributed nothing to the event.

Class act.

[Jenise]

Ignoring the fact that he was going to get his money back and therefore had contributed nothing to the event.

Class act.

More like steal his money back. Hope he didn't get invited again.

It wasn't me (though I was at dinner, and yes it was 1994 Bordeaux, at Inside)!
Stories abound re some people.

I remember once being in a local shop when a woman I knew came in with a mag (nothing expensive, something like Woodbridge) with maybe a third left and said it "wasn't good." They promptly gave her a replacement bottle.

I was in Syracuse, NY a few years ago (maybe 10 years) and thought that I would like a bit of Port that night. I don't remember the wine store, but it was one of the larger stores, and I picked out one of cheaper ones, not knowing anything about Port at that time. Later that night after dinner I tried the wine with a cigar, it was not particularly enjoyable. So a few days later I went into the same store and did not complain, or try to return the wine, but when asked, I said that I was looking for something that I might like better than the Port (I was not attempting to return the wine). To my surprise the manager said please return the Port and get what ever I would like to replace it. To me this was a wine store with a "plan for the future". I can't remember the name of the store (probably the biggest in Syracuse) and I don't remember what I replaced the bottle of Port with, but I was pleased with the store's policy. But don't expect to find a forgiving policy like this everywhere.

I've been in retail for two months now. When someone comes into buy a case of, say, Pacific Peak Cab at $3/bottle, I will suggest that they try another bottle of wine (in addition to the case they are buying), one that I feel will improve their wine experience but not cost them a lot more. My selling point is that, if they don't like it, they can bring it back. Most customers are surprised and pleased to hear this. I always "joke", though, that they shouldn't bring back a empty bottle and expect a refund; we share a short laugh but I think I my point is clear - if you don't like it, you'll know with the first glass. I am not aware of any returns regarding my suggestions but I also think they still buy their $3 Cabs.

Ignoring the fact that he was going to get his money back and therefore had contributed nothing to the event.

More like steal his money back. Hope he didn't get invited again.

Not sure I agree. The spitoon bit is gross, but I have returned a corked bottle from an offline - I think it is the wine merchant that should take the hit. I usually offline with the same group, and tried to make it up with a better bottle the next time round. When so many bottles are opened and shared, one bottle here or there makes little difference.

...but I have returned a corked bottle from an offline.

I have brought a couple of corked bottles to off-lines over the years (sorry gang!). I always bring at least three bottles to an off-line so that I still make a solid contribution even if one of them craps out.

I have no qualms about returning corked wines to the merchant, assuming they have not been in my possession for a lengthy period of time. I have only been refused one time. A merchant refused to take back a horrifically corked Riesling, claiming that it had been stored improperly at my house. Having been in my possession for only three months, during which time it was kept in my temp/humidity controlled wine storage unit, that is very unlikely. His refusal to replace the wine has cost him many thousands of dollars in purchases by myself and my friends over the years.

Not sure I agree. The spitoon bit is gross, but I have returned a corked bottle from an offline - I think it is the wine merchant that should take the hit. I usually offline with the same group, and tried to make it up with a better bottle the next time round. When so many bottles are opened and shared, one bottle here or there makes little difference.

At some point, however you are being dishonest to the retailer. Aside from the fact that a corked bottle is in no way their fault, if you walk into a store for a refund I think you have a responsibility to return the defective merchandise. The retailer should have a right to smell the bottle or even (gag) taste it. What if the retailer rightfully replied "this wine is not corked"?

If someone opened a bottle at an offline and tried a pour and declared the bottle defective and sealed it up to return then yes, that's fair enough (to the retailer, perhaps not to the other offline participants). Alternately if you pour the majority of a bottle and return the dregs as corked and explain the situation then at least the retailer can make their own decision. But this is clear deception.

In regards to the other offline participants it's just plain tacky. Offlines should be a venue for abundant generosity, not nickel-and-dime-ing. We've all brought defective or under-performing bottles to an offline. There is no shame in that (unless the deficiency was your own fault and/or known in advance). But the first thought should not be how to personally benefit from it. How would you feel if you were in his shoes and drinking the replacement bottle of wine the next night knowing you had shared everyone else's contributions and you had made none?

Not sure I agree. The spitoon bit is gross, but I have returned a corked bottle from an offline - I think it is the wine merchant that should take the hit. I usually offline with the same group, and tried to make it up with a better bottle the next time round. When so many bottles are opened and shared, one bottle here or there makes little difference.

At some point, however you are being dishonest to the retailer. Aside from the fact that a corked bottle is in no way their fault, if you walk into a store for a refund I think you have a responsibility to return the defective merchandise. The retailer should have a right to smell the bottle or even (gag) taste it. What if the retailer rightfully replied "this wine is not corked"?

If someone opened a bottle at an offline and tried a pour and declared the bottle defective and sealed it up to return then yes, that's fair enough (to the retailer, perhaps not to the other offline participants). Alternately if you pour the majority of a bottle and return the dregs as corked and explain the situation then at least the retailer can make their own decision. But this is clear deception.

In regards to the other offline participants it's just plain tacky. Offlines should be a venue for abundant generosity, not nickel-and-dime-ing. We've all brought defective or under-performing bottles to an offline. There is no shame in that (unless the deficiency was your own fault and/or known in advance). But the first thought should not be how to personally benefit from it. How would you feel if you were in his shoes and drinking the replacement bottle of wine the next night knowing you had shared everyone else's contributions and you had made none?

Well, I certainly return the bottle with most of the wine in if it is a real (not online) shop - many online shops just take me at my word. Here in the UK the retailer is legally responsible for goods defective at the time of selling. I have never been refused a refund on wine I claimed to be corked, and on occasions where I have returned a bottle merely to ask the seller's opinion the wines have also been refunded.

The offline group loses nothing if I return the bottle, and as I said before I try to make it up at a later offline. For practical reasons, the one thing I usually cannot do is take back-up bottles. In actual fact, I often taste to check the quality before I leave the house for the offline (is that bad too?) to give a little more chance fo a replacement to be found by whatever means. Anyway, thanks to screwcaps and increasing cork quality, it seems now to rarely happen.

I see it as the opposite of nickle-and-diming, as you put it. Many other offlines are different, but people I offline with typically bring different numbers of bottles of different value, according to the size of their income and cellar, and (I suspect) the volume they want to drink. Often it is the interesting less-expensive wines that turn out to be the stars. Irrespective of the wine, the biggest contribution is often the company people offer.

the biggest contribution is often the company people offer

This fellow was deficient on that front too.

I seldom return corked bottles, but if I did in an offline situation where it was poured before detection, I'd carry the dregs and explain (and if I got a credit, next offline the starter Champagne would be on me!)
In particular instance, one should know that the person in question has a bit of a rep. High end offlines arranged online- he wasn't part, but "happened" to have dinner in the bar of the restaurant, stopped by table, managed to sample every bottle. Oops, Margaux AC offline, he couldn't find the wine he was supposed to bring, but here's a Cantemerle- it's almost in Margaux. And bringing a lot of cooked bottles to various events.

In regards to the other offline participants it's just plain tacky. Offlines should be a venue for abundant generosity, not nickel-and-dime-ing. We've all brought defective or under-performing bottles to an offline. There is no shame in that (unless the deficiency was your own fault and/or known in advance). But the first thought should not be how to personally benefit from it. How would you feel if you were in his shoes and drinking the replacement bottle of wine the next night knowing you had shared everyone else's contributions and you had made none?

In regards to the behavior of this notorious individual at the offline, nothing more need be said. I'll also point out that most of us who go to offlines: 1. bring back up bottles for just this exigency and 2. sample their wine first before offering it to others. His behavior at that offline, in keeping with his reputation, showed a lack of consideration for others as well as a cheap ("mean" for you, Steve) nature.

Mark Lipton

[Jenise]

Not sure I agree. The spitoon bit is gross, but I have returned a corked bottle from an offline - I think it is the wine merchant that should take the hit.

Do understand, I don't object in the slightest to returning a corked wine. But if what's in the bottle is not the corked wine but is presented as such? I personally wouldn't be able to do that.

next offline the starter Champagne would be on me!

This is the excellent behavior I hope for from an exemplary offline participant.

Arv Rao once came down with the flu on the day of a Musar offline. He showed up at the venue (Ironically the same restaurant from the spittoon story) to drop off his bottles on the way home to his sick bed from work. The guy had triple digit temperature, missed the offline and still donated his wine. That set the bar high.

Bringing starters. Bringing dessert wine. Bringing an extra bottle (perhaps served blind). Volunteering to bring a prime vintage or top chateau. These are the things that people do that make organizing and participating in offlines a treat.

Taking pours of all of the wines over appetizers and then taking your entree to go. Calculating the cost of what other people are bringing and then volunteering a wine that comes in just toward the bottom. Shouting "this wine sucks" before the bottle has even gotten around the table. Bringing an open bottle that (surprise!) is flawed. These are the things that people do that make organizing and participating in offlines a chore.

I've always said wine geeks are the most generous people in the world. Most of them!

Just to expand on what Jenise wrote, I think it is only fair not only to return the “corked” bottle of wine but also with the original cork itself (if applicable, someone on the “distribution” end might find it very useful).
One quick question Jenise, upon returning the “corked” bottle of wine did you get a money refund or store credit? Most NYS liquor stores for some reason won’t give cash refunds but there is no problem usually for exchanging or getting store credit.

Salute

[Jenise]

One quick question Jenise, upon returning the “corked” bottle of wine did you get a money refund or store credit? Most NYS liquor stores for some reason won’t give cash refunds but there is no problem usually for exchanging or getting store credit.

Salute

When I return a bad bottle, I always "purchase" something of equal or greater value to replace it. Cash refunds are okay here so it's not that, rather it just seems like the right thing to do.

Please excuse my ignorance, but what, exactly, is an "offline"?
These stories are unbelievable, but given the attitude of "nothing is MY fault", I guess only to be expected.

Please excuse my ignorance, but what, exactly, is an "offline"?
.

When we chat on this forum we are 'on-line'.

So, if some people who usually chat on this board decide to meet in real life then they are meeting 'off-line'.

After time chatting to people online about wine you often want to see what they look and sound like, share some bottles of wine and discuss them and so offlines were born.