50 Homeless Bottles

I know I am not the first person to suffer this crashing angst, but I woke up suddenly one morning thinking I must have more Bordeaux than I can drink. The main thing I use Robert Parker’s expertise for is to assign a drinking window for every bottle I buy. When the bottle is not reviewed by Parker, I take a best guess myself based on experience. Then I use a simple formula to designate 75% of the way as the drink-by date. So I can see what I have for the remainder of 2011 and any subsequent year.

The one mistake I made in my buying was thinking I could economize by lowering my expectations. Entering the so-called fixed income years, only because the state of our economy makes it difficult to plan for any appreciable gain on assets, I thought I could drink more reasonably priced Bordeaux, occasionally, from petit chateaux and such, especially from great years such as 2005. And thus, when a case costs about the same as an interesting bottle does, I tended to buy a case when I would ordinarily buy maybe three bottles of something I could fondly anticipate. So I have 50 too many Friday night wines. I assign bottles to specific days: an experimental bottle on Thursday, maybe a Rhone or Gevrey Chambertin, and even sometimes venture into the New World with a California Pinot; a Cru Bourgeois on Friday (often cheating with such beauties as Gloria and Sociando Millet); and then a Classed Growth on Saturday. Sunday through Wednesday are liver enzyme management days.

So, yesterday, amidst the flickering lights from the storm (I live near Albany, New York), I counted everything up. Sure enough, I have 50 extra Friday night bottles that should be consumed before January, 2012. Unfortunately I can’t even give them away. Bordeaux drinkers wouldn’t touch them and non-Bordeaux drinkers would almost gag on them. I know, I have tried them on the uninitiated by presenting them blind by the glass alongside the wines I know novices drink, such as sweet California Pinot Noir, asking which they would rather have. The Bordeaux got an eww every time!

My best idea, I thought, was to set up a table in the park one fine Saturday afternoon with a carton of plastic party stems and a sign that said, Free Wine for Hobos, and assign a hobo to qualify the true hobos from middle-class people looking to get over. Those are the only folks I would bet could enjoy the bottles. My wife said that was an ugly thought because I would be contributing to the folks' health problems. I also suggested just lining the bottles up on the picnic tables at this Labor Day’s Lake Association party, with the plastic stems, but again my wife dissented, asking me if I wanted everybody at the lake to think I had no taste – and nobody there would enjoy them, anyway, she said. So like old soldiers, I am going to let them fade in peace.

Interestingly, at least to me, out through 2015, my count for Saturday night bottles were 50, 55, 53 and 47. This without any conscious attempt to arrange to have 52 a year. Shows that intuition in any hobby gets honed.

Seems to be the perfect excuse for an off-line of all WLDG folks in your area! Or am I misunderstanding something??

Unfortunately I can’t even give them away. Bordeaux drinkers wouldn’t touch them and non-Bordeaux drinkers would almost gag on them

Have you seen what sells at various online auctions. I'm sure you'll find buyers at the right price.

Seems to be the perfect excuse for an off-line of all WLDG folks in your area! Or am I misunderstanding something??

Honestly, Mike, I don’t think any serious wine drinker could enjoy these bottles, except for science. I do weird intellectual stuff for pseudo science, so I can sit back and sip one of these things and try to put myself into the winemaker’s place, putting my best effort forward in commendable faith to make something out of virtually nothing.

I usually find no hedonistic pleasure is such efforts, just intellectual satisfaction. In contrast, some Friday nights, such as this past, see such beauties as 2004 Chateau Les Trois Croix, an inexpensive Fronsac. But the winemaker is the formidable Patrick Léon, who made Mouton Rothschild, among other storied wines. The intellectual prize of knowing this permits me the climatic (from the French expression “climat”) joy of tasting the sexy French oak in juxtaposition to the rustic Fronsac expression, like finding a nubile farmer’s daughter awaiting you in a pile of hay outside the horse barn. And besides Bob Cohen, who is welcome to the stuff, I don’t know a single WLDGer in this region.

Unfortunately I can’t even give them away. Bordeaux drinkers wouldn’t touch them and non-Bordeaux drinkers would almost gag on them

Have you seen what sells at various online auctions. I'm sure you'll find buyers at the right price.

I would probably have to let them go for $3 a bottle and it's not worth the effort.

Honestly, Mike, I don’t think any serious wine drinker could enjoy these bottles, except for science.

I'm a scientist, but alas too far away to join such an experiment. I suspect nonetheless that you will have no lack of volunteers to participate in a "Horrors of Bordeaux" tasting evening, just for the heck of it... .

Honestly, Mike, I don’t think any serious wine drinker could enjoy these bottles, except for science.

I'm a scientist, but alas too far away to join such an experiment. I suspect nonetheless that you will have no lack of volunteers to participate in a "Horrors of Bordeaux" tasting evening, just for the heck of it... .

I like it! Horrors Of Borbeaux! No misleading.

Actually, Bordeaux necrophilia is one of my perverse hobbies. And to my palate, most Bdx stays drinkable much longer (sometimes decades) than the "official" windows. I would actually jump at the opportunity, were it drivable. I think its my scientific curiosity - every point along the aging curve is new data I can integrate into my understanding of how wine ages. I'm willing to try just about anything. In fact, a few of my more memorable experiences were wines that should have been dead decades before I drank them.

Agree on the reality that wines tend not to lurch off a cliff with lemming (sic.) like abandon. Indeed there are numerous instances of relatively simple wines doing very nicely in their dotage (e.g. Last night's 1994 St Joseph Clos de L'Arbestier (sp?) which might not have had great length, but lovely figgy-fruited aged complexity).

Agree the wine tasting thing - our old group once did a 'cheap claret' tasting and it was interesting enough (some decent wines and some duffers). I'm also reminded of a UK wine forumite who recently set up a 'poxathon' tasting of white burgundy, offering open house on wines where the burgundy pox was a significant risk.

Finally, I have a (ITB) friend, who did exactly what you propose with some wines that were utterly unsellable. Somewhat surrupticiously, he approached one of the homeless guys and asked him if he was interested & if so to meet him in a deserted car park on sunday morning & bring a shopping trolley. They turned up and he loaded the shopping trolley up for them. Bumping into the guy a few weeks later, the guy said thanks again for the wines, albeit acknowledging that some "were a bit rough"!

Another option for those wine is students (drinking age limits of course an issue in some places), who tend to have a more relaxed attitude.

regards
Ian

Actually, Bordeaux necrophilia is one of my perverse hobbies. And to my palate, most Bdx stays drinkable much longer (sometimes decades) than the "official" windows. I would actually jump at the opportunity, were it drivable. I think its my scientific curiosity - every point along the aging curve is new data I can integrate into my understanding of how wine ages. I'm willing to try just about anything. In fact, a few of my more memorable experiences were wines that should have been dead decades before I drank them.

Ryan, these wines I am talking about are not over-the-hill, they were just cheap, and taste so. Mostly 2003's and 2005's, they are likely at their best right now. Some are petit Bordeaux from the Medoc, while others are low-level Cru Bourgeois and some Bourg's and Blaye's. It might just be that when my wife and I have good wines for comparison, and we try to drink one these lesser bottles, the refrain of "Life's too short" washes over us and we usually dump it and open a bottle that will afford a modicum of pleasure, if not delight.

However, Mike has convinced me to share the "unsung heroes" at picnics and such with a disclaimer. I will take a few of them to a picnic I am attending on Sunday, with some plastic stems, and see if folks might enjoy them with hot dogs and hamburgers.

I also enjoy many fine Bordeaux way past Parker's idea of their drinking windows. I must have some English blood in me.

Ryan, these wines I am talking about are not over-the-hill, they were just cheap, and taste so. Mostly 2003's and 2005's, they are likely at their best right now. Some are petit Bordeaux from the Medoc, while others are low-level Cru Bourgeois and some Bourg's and Blaye's. It might just be that when my wife and I have good wines for comparison, and we try to drink one these lesser bottles, the refrain of "Life's too short" washes over us and we usually dump it and open a bottle that will afford a modicum of pleasure, if not delight.

I also enjoy many fine Bordeaux way past Parker's idea of their drinking windows. I must have some English blood in me.

Ah, I see. Frankly, I was perplexed as to why you didn't feel like these were worth drinking. Although I don't know your palate, I assumed that they were already too mature for your tastes. But that seemed odd, as these should still be in decent shape.

But I must say, I'm a Bdx lover, have had a number of First Growths, and yet I find wines in the tier your talking about to be more than acceptable, and have gotten a lot of pleasure from Bdx in the $10 - 15 range, provided it's well made (of course, not all of them are). This may be in part because just having finished grad school, I've had to be pragmatic about the wine I drink. But, I'm happy for that pragmatism, becuase it has instilled in me a sense of "classical epicureanism" with regards to wine, which is too say, I believe that one must appreaciate the more modest wines, and what charms they have to offer, if you are to truly appreciate exceptional wines. If you let your standards get too high, I think you are in for a lot of dissappointment. I'm not saying that one should lower their standards for what they consider to be an exceptional wine - just that they should expand their dynamic range to include wines that are simpler, but still perfectly good.

At any rate, I'm really curious what wines you're referring to - would you mind sending me a list by PM?

Ian wrote:

Agree on the reality that wines tend not to lurch off a cliff with lemming (sic.) like abandon. Indeed there are numerous instances of relatively simple wines doing very nicely in their dotage (e.g. Last night's 1994 St Joseph Clos de L'Arbestier (sp?) which might not have had great length, but lovely figgy-fruited aged complexity).

Agree the wine tasting thing - our old group once did a 'cheap claret' tasting and it was interesting enough (some decent wines and some duffers). I'm also reminded of a UK wine forumite who recently set up a 'poxathon' tasting of white burgundy, offering open house on wines where the burgundy pox was a significant risk.

Finally, I have a (ITB) friend, who did exactly what you propose with some wines that were utterly unsellable. Somewhat surrupticiously, he approached one of the homeless guys and asked him if he was interested & if so to meet him in a deserted car park on sunday morning & bring a shopping trolley. They turned up and he loaded the shopping trolley up for them. Bumping into the guy a few weeks later, the guy said thanks again for the wines, albeit acknowledging that some "were a bit rough"!

Another option for those wine is students (drinking age limits of course an issue in some places), who tend to have a more relaxed attitude.

Ian, I told the story on this Forum a while back and won’t replay it in entirety. But during one wee hour while drinking fine Champagne on the steps of a closed (to the public) Wine Bar in the city of Saratoga, New York, a few homeless people sidled by glancing furtively when it dawned on me to be generous. Luckily the Bar manager was in as expansive a mood. So we passed out fine stems and more Hobo’s came (I use that empathetic word a lot because it means homeward bound, meaning that the folk, in their minds, at least, are not entirely lost). It turned into a great time, so my Hobo park party idea had precedent.

There are a couple of prestigious girls' colleges nearby, and it would certainly be fun to put out invitations at them, but my wife would appreciate that even less than the Hobo party idea.

Agree on the reality that wines tend not to lurch off a cliff with lemming (sic.) like abandon. Indeed there are numerous instances of relatively simple wines doing very nicely in their dotage (e.g. Last night's 1994 St Joseph Clos de L'Arbestier (sp?) which might not have had great length, but lovely figgy-fruited aged complexity).

Agree the wine tasting thing - our old group once did a 'cheap claret' tasting and it was interesting enough (some decent wines and some duffers). I'm also reminded of a UK wine forumite who recently set up a 'poxathon' tasting of white burgundy, offering open house on wines where the burgundy pox was a significant risk.

Finally, I have a (ITB) friend, who did exactly what you propose with some wines that were utterly unsellable. Somewhat surrupticiously, he approached one of the homeless guys and asked him if he was interested & if so to meet him in a deserted car park on sunday morning & bring a shopping trolley. They turned up and he loaded the shopping trolley up for them. Bumping into the guy a few weeks later, the guy said thanks again for the wines, albeit acknowledging that some "were a bit rough"!

Another option for those wine is students (drinking age limits of course an issue in some places), who tend to have a more relaxed attitude.

regards
Ian

Please see my note to you below, or above. I lopped off your end quote by mistake below, or above, whichever the case turns out to be when I push the send button this time.

There are a couple of prestigious girls' colleges nearby, and it would certainly be fun to put out invitations at them, but my wife would appreciate that even less than the Hobo party idea.

Unless you have a cellar temp above 70 F. this is a silly premise. There is no specific drink-by date for wines like this, and many modest clarets offer pleasure for many years after the dates the so-called experts place as the end of their useful life, dates that inexperienced wine neophytes seem to treat like a 'dead-by' date after which you automatically toss them out.

Put them all on a table. Each night, open bottles until you come to one you enjoy. If that wasn't the first bottle you opened, pour the others into a marinator for tough meat and recycle it.

Unless you have a cellar temp abopve 70 F. this is a silly premise. There is no specific drink-by date for wines like this, and many modest clarets offer pleasure for many years after the dates the so-called experts place as the end of their useful life, dates that inexperienced wine neophytes seem to treat like a 'dead-by' date after which you automatically toss them out.

Put them all on a table. Each night, open bottles until you come to one you enjoy. If that wasn't the first bottle you opened, pour the others into a marinator for tough meat and recycle it.

None of the wines are old, as I mentioned to Mike. The issue is I just don't want to waste another night on anything less than a wine I really like, such as a good Cru Borgeois, at the very least. I don't even want to waste time pouring wines down the drain. I have tried dozens of these so-called unsung heroes and I am just deciding not to drink any more of them, even if I might have eventually found one that I liked.

[Jenise]

I don't even want to waste time pouring wines down the drain. I have tried dozens of these so-called unsung heroes and I am just deciding not to drink any more of them, even if I might have eventually found one that I liked.

Well okay, then, this is an entirely different problem than simply having too many Friday night wines, isn't it? Because I was going to join Ian and Bill in saying that I've found Mr. Parker's estimates always (and, I'm sure, deliberately) conservative, but it looks like that's really a moot point and the bigger problem is owning wine you just don't enjoy anymore. THAT I can relate to.

Wines you only paid $10 or $15 for in the first place don't have much resale value. But your college student thing gives me an idea: why not advertise them on Craig's List? "Wine Collector with too much wine has 50 bottles of interesting, inexpensive Bordeaux to sell to Albany-area college students interested in developing their palates. $500 takes them home." I'd rather see you do that than pour them for hobo's who just like your niece would probably prefer a cheap, sweet Cal Pinot.

Unless you have a cellar temp above 70 F. this is a silly premise. There is no specific drink-by date for wines like this, and many modest clarets offer pleasure for many years after the dates the so-called experts place as the end of their useful life, dates that inexperienced wine neophytes seem to treat like a 'dead-by' date after which you automatically toss them out.

Put them all on a table. Each night, open bottles until you come to one you enjoy. If that wasn't the first bottle you opened, pour the others into a marinator for tough meat and recycle it.

Bill, sorry about the last partial answer. My wife was handing me my dinner plate and I had to button it up. The drink-by dates are important to me because I have full allotments for years out, meaning any wine that I put off drinking in a designated period of optimal maturity, according to Parker, or me, if the wine is too cheap to warrant Parker's notice, will supplant a future bottle. Eventually bottles would build up and be pushed past maturity if I put off drinking some. If I had only my designated wines for 2011, and nothing following them, I could hold a bunch of them for many years past their designated periods without killing them.

And midway through my thread I drifted into talking about the fact that I didn't want to drink the cheaper ones anyway, even if I didn't have too many.

I don't even want to waste time pouring wines down the drain. I have tried dozens of these so-called unsung heroes and I am just deciding not to drink any more of them, even if I might have eventually found one that I liked.

Well okay, then, this is an entirely different problem than simply having too many Friday night wines, isn't it? Because I was going to join Ian and Bill in saying that I've found Mr. Parker's estimates always (and, I'm sure, deliberately) conservative, but it looks like that's really a moot point and the bigger problem is owning wine you just don't enjoy anymore. THAT I can relate to.

Wines you only paid $10 or $15 for in the first place don't have much resale value. But your college student thing gives me an idea: why not advertise them on Craig's List? "Wine Collector with too much wine has 50 bottles of interesting, inexpensive Bordeaux to sell to Albany-area college students interested in developing their palates. $500 takes them home." I'd rather see you do that than pour them for hobo's who just like your niece would probably prefer a cheap, sweet Cal Pinot.

Yes, and thanks for not just telling me that I can't stay on topic. I explained to Bill in my second note back to him that I indeed switched focus to how I was sick of cheap wines, away from the problem of having too many. You never take gratuitous shots at me, but for others who sometimes do, I would suggest that they go for it now while I have been under the influence of mind dulling drugs for a month and I am at a cognitive disadvantage. At least I hope it is temporary. These damned major operations whack the old brain cells pretty good. You know that I like mature wines a lot, drinking some of them many years past when Parker would say they were done. And I realize he has to be conservative and probably enjoys some old bottles himself.

Thanks for the additional idea. I am wondering now who the heck actually likes these cheap Bordeaux. Even I might prefer a sweet Pinot to them, once in a while, anyway.

The obvious answer is a glass or two every Monday-Wednesday. Done.

The obvious answer is a glass or two every Monday-Wednesday. Done.

Harry, the fact that I am not smart enought to have figured that out proves that it wouldn't be a good idea for me.