Today's Dear Abbey column

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/


'IN VINO VERITAS' REVEALS PAINFUL TRUTH OF MARRIAGE


DEAR ABBY: The other day I asked my husband a question and told him to be honest. If given a choice between giving up wine or giving up sex with me, which would he choose?
You guessed it. He said, "Giving up sex with you." I think I knew the answer before I asked the question, but hearing it out loud devastated me.

I know every woman wants to be No. 1 in her husband's life. Am I wrong to feel so heartbroken? -- LOST THE BATTLE TO CHARDONNAY

DEAR LOST THE BATTLE: Not at all, particularly if you prefer sex to a full-bodied Cabernet. But now it's time for a follow-up question: "Why?" If sex with you is less interesting to your mate than his vino, he may have an alcohol problem. Or the problem may lie in your bedroom.

One thing is certain: When you asked your question, you "uncorked" the fact that there's a serious problem in your marriage. And now you have an opportunity to do something about it.

[Jenise]

So when did your wife start writing to Dear Abby?

Jenis,

Hey, that's jumping to conclusions!

You KNOW I can't be the person who wrote that letter because less than 1% of my cellar consists of CHARDONNAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alex

[Jenise]

Jenis,

Hey, that's jumping to conclusions!

You KNOW I can't be the person who wrote that letter because less than 1% of my cellar consists of CHARDONNAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alex

Alex, first of all, my name has an 'e' on the end. It does not look at all good to me without it. As to the chardonnay...sure, that's what you SAY. Uh huh. YEAH. (Good thing this was written by a husband, I love chardonnay and could be a suspect!)

Removed.

Jenise,

Sorry for the typo in your name.

Alex

Apparently "Dear Abbey" has never tasted a La Tache. Hell, their sex life could be the stuff that adult films are based on.

I think this deserves a poll . . . .

I expect this couple has more serious problems than sex - if you've gotten to that point, the problem is the emotional experience, not the physical experience. I feel very badly for that poor woman.

Because honestly folks, it would be difficult to imagine life without wine, but for god's sake let's keep our priorities straight!

Wait, wait, wait. Are you guys suggesting that there is or should be a separation between wine and sex? Something akin perhaps to the brain-body dichotomy? Or something even more serious?

I thought without the influence of wine, a lot of couples wouldn't have even gotten to the sex part

Yes, things must have been more inhibited in the prohibition era.

Winemaker: Wow! This wine is better than sex!!!

Winemaker's wife whispers to him.

Winemaker: I meant, Wow, this wine is better with sex!

Winemaker's wife whispers to him again.

Winemaker, blushing: Um, I meant, Wow, sex is better with this wine.

Okay, okay, okay....when it comes to "better than sex" only one thing qualifies for me and that is the combination of raw oysters and Chablis! Only thing better than that of course is sex either before, after or during the oysters and Chablis.

But then again, I do agree with Henry Miller who observed : "I rarely say no to sex. I never say no to a cup of coffee"

Best
Rogov

Slurping an oyster, sippng a glass of Chablis AND making love at the same time.

Now, there's a thought for you!

Alex R.

Okay, okay, okay....when it comes to "better than sex" only one thing qualifies for me and that is the combination of raw oysters and Chablis! Only thing better than that of course is sex either before, after or during the oysters and Chablis.

But then again, I do agree with Henry Miller who observed : "I rarely say no to sex. I never say no to a cup of coffee"

Best
Rogov

See? When you were younger, Rogov, there wouldn't have been an "either" in that sentence.

[David M. Bueker]

Slurping an oyster, sippng a glass of Chablis AND making love at the same time.

Now, there's a thought for you!

Alex R.

Not to mention an image.

Slurping an oyster, sippng a glass of Chablis AND making love at the same time.

Now, there's a thought for you!

Alex R.

It's like the Seinfeld episode where George Costanza tries to combine food, sex and TV. (And as life follows Seinfeld, that wouldn't turn out well...)

Slurping an oyster, sippng a glass of Chablis AND making love at the same time.

Now, there's a thought for you!

Alex R.

Well let's see, if you slurp the oyster out of the navel of the person you're with.....

The mind boggles...
(back to work, Alex, back to work).