Amusing newbie stories?

Seeing the posting from Andy, asking for advice on how to get started in the wonderful world of wine tasting, got me to thinking about the early days of my wine appreciation, what I thought I knew back then and how much I now realize I didn't know.

I can still recall trying my first Riesling. It was from Chateau des Charmes in Ontario, I think, and recoiling in horror because, somehow, my wine has been tainted by gasoline.

Then, of course, there was my first experience with tartrate crystals imbedded in the bottom of a cork. Glass shards for sure. Call my lawyer!!

Does anyone else have similar stories, observations to share?

I remember being baffled by my first--and only--Retsina. Was it corked or was it supposed to smell like that? I still don't know.

My explorations of Burgundy often came to an auditory crisis/pronunciation angst (Echezeaux anyone?)--so much so that I finally took a couple of courses on Conversational French, followed by the Pimsleur audio series.

[Robin Garr]

Does anyone else have similar stories, observations to share?

Once when I was way too young, I brought home a bottle only to discover to my consternation that it had a cork in it! I had no corkscrew in the house at this time, so I sat on the kitchen floor, held the bottle between my knees, and forced the cork IN with the handle of a wooden spoon. It popped in with a geyser-like splash of red wine, baptizing the kitchen and applying pretty splashes all around. I'm glad I was wearing a cheap pair of shorts.

I bought a good corkscrew soon thereafter.

Not as humorous as some of the other stories, but when I was just getting into drinking wine at restaurants in Germany, I had to be reminded by a German companion in Munich not to guzzle the wine too quickly. I was thirsty and that Gumpoldskirchner went down so easily that I was treating it like a glass of water.

I can still recall trying my first Riesling. It was from Chateau des Charmes in Ontario, I think, and recoiling in horror because, somehow, my wine has been tainted by gasolin

An early (in wine-geekiness terms) formative experience for me was a mature Hugel Riesling. No recoil in horror for me though. I thought it was fantastic. A defining moment - epiphany if you will. Wine really CAN taste of stuff other than, er, wine. And I still love the petrol kick of Riesling.

Starting out there was NO way we would be able to drink a whole bottle of wine. We found 375ml bottles of Prieuré de Cenac and drank that (for 2!).

Ah...the good old (inexpensive) days. Now a bottle to myself is easily done...

My explorations of Burgundy often came to an auditory crisis/pronunciation angst (Echezeaux anyone).

Oh yeah. I was so ignorant of Burgundy and just French in general that I remember talking to a very nice gentleman at the first wine auction I ever attended about that wonderful Lee Roy wine that I tried. Funny thing is that as I look back on it not only did he not try to correct me but he never even wince or smiled or showed any sign of my offense.

Not as humorous as some of the other stories, but when I was just getting into drinking wine at restaurants in Germany, I had to be reminded by a German companion in Munich not to guzzle the wine too quickly. I was thirsty and that Gumpoldskirchner went down so easily that I was treating it like a glass of water.

Really, Austrian Gumpoldskirchner in Germany? When was that?

It was in 1966. The German was the son of a calendar company entrepeneur (Advent and other calendars) that knew my father through bookstore conventions. He escorted me to Schwabing one evening when my tour group was in Munich.

Jesus, 1966! I was thirteen back then.

But I wonder whether the Gumpoldskirchner you had was the real thing. Strange things have been going on in Gumpoldskirchen at the time. Tankloads of cheap plonk arrived (usually during the night) in Gumpoldskirchen, and rumors would have it that more Gumpoldskirchner was exported than ever could have been produced.

Can't say if it was real or not as it was my first tasting of the wine. Oh, and I wasn't much older than you at the time. I was 21.

I had to be reminded... not to guzzle the wine too quickly... went down so easily that I was treating it like a glass of water.

Uhh, I thought this was supposed to be a thread about newbie mishaps...

Now, Nathan, don't get smart alecky on me.

1975 - Thought I knew all there was to know about wine: Older = better. I saw a 1/2 bottle of cheap 1964 red burgundy in a store window. Bought it and saved it in my room (house shared with 4 other guys) for a year or so. Opened it near graduation time to impress my friends...what a mistake. Of the five of us, two are dead and I always wondered if I had anything to do with that.

Thanks for a laugh.

Back in my restaurant days, I was in a wine appreciation class with the wait staff, learning the wine list and tasting different wines to get familiar with them. While we were tasting a waiter asked if it was appropriate to drink from the bottle...silence fell, then I blurted out "Only if it is Champagne" the room broke up in laughter...the Maitre D kinda scowled at me. The next day I was promoted to wine captain!

Michael

Now, Nathan, don't get smart alecky on me.

I've been in this hobby for ten years now, and I still have that problem.

One of the first wine tastings I went to was a really large one sponsored by our local newspaper. It was at a hotel/conference center and there were several large rooms devoted to wineries pouring their goods. There must have been at least 20 wineries represented and most had several bottles open for tasting. I got there with several friends (including the woman I would marry about 15 years later) and we spent a minute or two looking around.

Then we decided on our strategy. We would go through and taste all of the available white wines. Then we'd taste all of the red wines. (We knew this would be a good strategy because we'd heard you always follow whites with reds.) Pours were quite generous and the idea of using a dump bucket was foreign to us, so by the time we were getting into the reds we were looped. I don't remember how far into them we got, but we had morphed into wildly drunken louts. I still have a half bottle of some kind of spiced wine that one of my staggering pals snatched from an unguarded box.

Did I mention this happened on a Sunday? The following Monday is the only day in my life that I have had to call in sick due to a hangover.

I took a bottle of the first batch of bubbly I ever made to the birthing room when one of my sons was born. Wanting it to be "authentic", I used real champagne corks but put them in too far. When I tried to remove the cork, it broke off at the top of the bottle. "No problem" I thought, as I pulled my trusty Swiss Army knife (the one with a corkscrew) out of my pocket. The corkscrew went in about 3/4 of the way and broke off. "No problem" I thought, and I took the elevator down 8 floors, walked 1/4 mile to my vehicle way out in the parking lot and retrieved a double lever corkscrew from my glove compartment. I returned to the room, and as I started inserting the second corkscrew, the top of the bottle exploded in my hand, leaving me with blood dripping all over the place. It was, however, a clean break and I managed to save most of the bottle, which my wife and I enjoyed with the doctor after my hand was bandaged up.

The first tme I saw a glass of Cheval Blanc, I only just managed to stop myself blurting out "But it's red!"