How honest are you when people ask about their wine?

I think that most people whom I drink wine with know my preferences well. I'm expected to act the way I do, which is often in disgust -some wines I won't swallow (or even put in my mouth if the nose is too much for me. -I know, what a jerk... !) I cannot and will not hold back. In the company of the winemaker, I feel that silence speaks volumes. It's all part of my charm!

[James Roscoe]

I have been called an ass for much more trivial statements than that!

Seriously, assuming that this was a family dinner, and everyone knows everyone's idiosyncrasies, you were well within the boundaries. Of course, in another context, you may have been an ass. Us asses need to stick together!

Anyone think I was really out of line?

Not in my family. We all partake of the grape and if it's crap, it's crap. Our sinks have consumed many bottles. Amongst ourselves we are very critical, not to be mean, but because we want better. Life's too short.

Kevin

If someone asks, I tell them what I think, though I try to be gentle. If the person who supplied the wine asks, and if I did not like it, I might first ask, "Do you really want to know?"

I usually try to find the positive. "Boy, this (oaky, alcoholic sweet fruit monster) wine has a lot of fruit, doesn't it?

Then I try and pour something else as a comparison.

Most people, in my experience, don't really care what I think. It's a politeness question, really, like "How are you", "How's it going, Bob", "Everything ok?", etc.

I actually answer honestly -- I like to see how a wine develops over time in the glass, and I always say something like -- "I've just got my first impressions ... but it may develop in the glass. Let's see how it comes along. I'll get back to you."

I don't think anyone has every gotten back to me. And, you know, it's amazing how often wine that I thought was crap at the getgo turns out to have some interesting notes.

But, as folks here know, I write up my notes later and call the wines I taste as well as I can. Folks once in a while comment and agree or disagree, but that's pretty rare.

So, I'm always honest, but never have been called on the first impression answer.

I usually try to find the positive. "Boy, this (oaky, alcoholic sweet fruit monster) wine has a lot of fruit, doesn't it?

Then I try and pour something else as a comparison.

Trouble is, once you've had one of those obese sweet wines, everything else tastes thin and is bound to lose ... I guess that's what happens at tastings that see the biggies get such high scores!

[Jenise]

"Politically correct" and "polite" aren't really synonyms.

Indeed. I basically figure no holds barred at geek gatherings. But with others I would always err on the side of politeness....If pressed, I'll say "it's not the style I usually buy." But totally dumping on a wine...is rude.

Dale said it perfectly. And it's usually fairly easy to put yourself in the other guy's shoes: their tastes might be such that what are to us deplorable qualities (big, simple fruit, low acid, non-existent tannins) are to them positive attributes.

A suggestion to Walt Nissen--next time you dine there on a holiday or special occasion offer to provide the wine yourself (unless you are flying in and don't have an opportunity to pick up a bottle.)
My brother-in-law rarely spends over $15 for a bottle of wine but some of them are quite attractive (Ozzie Shiraz included). We usually have a choice of white or red wine and one may be more acceptable/attractive than the other so I choose the one I think I might like fairly well. This last Christmas we had a nice Pinot Noir that had been a gift to him from his sister.

I lie. Sometimes a tiny bit ("everybody's taste differs") sometimes a little ("not my style"), sometimes a bit more ("It is good wine but it isn't my style") and sometimes a hell of a lot ("it's good") - even of something like yellow tail. The exceptions, when it is corked, when with wine geeks, or when I don't really care for the person who asks for an opinion of his/her wine. But mostly, I lie. Why not. If they like their wine, that's good enough for me. And why appear to be a snob, or know it all, and offend a friend.

I also try to set a good example by criticizing the wine I supply if it is deficient in some way.

This is a great topic, and one that may be the most revealing about our personalities. It may be helpful to consider the following:

Is important to realize that people are more complex than wines.
Ultimately, the way a message is received is of utmost importance.
As individuals, we all have to decide what we value most, our opinions or our relationships.

Relationships take time and trust. It is pretty easy to forfeit trust, and it takes a lot of time to rebuild it. We all need to keep this in mind when rendering opinions. This doesn't means you have to pander and lie, just be sure to treat the other party with respect and compassion.

-- Clark